Shitsuji to Vampire
by Prodigal Priest
Summary: Instead of going to an Ordinary High School, suppose our beloved butler-to-be went to an Extraordinary one?  Will his life go in a similar pattern from what might be, or enter an undiscovered one?  Rated M for language and adult situations.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer****: I do not own any rights to Hayate The Combat Butler or to Rosario + Vampire. I'm simply a fan exercising his imagination for a while. Besides, I'm constantly broke and making no money off of this, so please don't bother suing me. It's not worth it.**

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><p><span>Chapter 1 <span>: Prologue.

For once in his life, things were finally starting to look up for Ayasaki Hayate. He'd finished middle school with average grades (no thanks in small part to the little time he could devote to studying due to having a few part-time jobs), but the future was still quite bright for him he was sure.

Not being able to afford the cost of a decent education, Hayate would have had to settle for going to a normal high school with normal classmates. That was no longer an issue. Thanks to an unexpected windfall one day while on his delivery job, he happened upon a brochure for a private high school somewhere in Japan. From the looks of things, room, board, and tuition would all be covered by the school. Lucky!

_'Now, if I could_ just _get Mom and Dad on track for once before I head off to school, I'll be all set'_, he thought. Hayate knew deep down the chances of that happening were the same odds his mother bet on the horses at the racetrack: which was to say slim to none. Yet, he still held out some small hope for his parents's redemption from their life of moral inturpitude.

Pedaling along on his ten-speed, Hayate weaved in and out of downtown traffic. A few more hours, and he'd be home to start packing.

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><p>"Mom... Dad... I'm home!"<p>

Hayate's mother (with the kanji for 'Mom' on her face, oddly enough) looked up from the paper she was reading.

"Welcome home, dear. Good day today?", she inquired sweetly. His father (similarly featured as his mother was, the kanji for 'Dad' on his face) looked away from the television he was watching and gave his son a wave.

Hayate sighed inwardly. His parents knew very damn well what days were pay day for his various jobs. Today just happened to be two job's worth of pay he brought home to this vulture pit.

"Well enough, Mom. There were a lot of calls today, so I was kept moving until the end", he blew out a puff of air and smiled gently. Yep, they were looking for their handouts.

His father spoke up. "So, Hayate... what's this I hear about you going away to school? I thought you were going to enroll in a high school nearby?"

Hayate narrowed his eyes slightly at this question. He turned his head to look at both of his parents, and then sweatdropped. It wasn't a racing paper that his mother had been reading from prior to his arrival. It had been the filled out application for the private school he'd been planning on going to for the past couple of weeks. The application he'd _specifically_ hidden in the false bottom of his sock drawer.

"Err, well... this school is waiving the fees you'd usually associate with a private school, Dad. I figured that'd be less of a burden to both of you", Hayate offered sheepishly.

"Nonsense, Hayate, you're our son!", his father exuberantly declared. "And of course, you're not a burden to us, dear," his mother added in. "Even so, Hayate, why did you feel the need to go behind our backs on this important decision? It shows that you don't trust us." She put on a sad face.

_'That's because I _can't _trust you, Mother. You _or _dear old Dad'_, Hayate thought bleakly. Things looked grim. This could take a while. But _nothing_ would crush his determination to go to school, not even this pair of albatrosses, he vowed.

Drastic measures would be needed.

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><p>"Father, Mother, I'm off!", Hayate cheerily called out, waving back at his parents who both stood just inside their apartment door. The two of them looked a bit nervous but resigned as they waved back.<p>

"Goodbye, my baby boy! I hope this school is everything you wanted it to be", his mother called back and started sobbing. "My little boy is becoming a man, Papa!" She collapsed into Hayate's father's arms.

"I know, Mama. I know", his father said comfortingly, rubbing her back with one hand while still waving at their son. _'The apple didn't fall far from the tree after all'_, he thought ruefully.

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><p>It was such a lovely spring day Hayate just couldn't help whistling. He unlocked his bike and stored his luggage on the back rack. There was no way in Hell he'd leave this old faithful friend for the two two-legged vultures to find and pawn. Hopefully, the school bus had a bike rack. If not... well, maybe the bus driver would allow him to follow up behind on his bike? It wasn't as if he couldn't keep up with the traffic speed on public roads.<p>

Turning onto a secondary road, he passed a number of students off to their first day of high school. Some of them wore the uniform of the local school he _would_ have been going to had the application not shown up. One of those students, a girl, was walking in the opposite direction Hayate was leisurely pedaling in. She had an onigiri in one hand up to her mouth in readiness to take a big bite of it. A small paper bag was in the other hand, presumably holding more of the store-bought rice balls. Her mousy grey hair was done up in small pigtails... quite cutely done, in Hayate's estimation. He did a doubletake, finally realizing that he knew her.

Hayate stopped his bike not far from where the girl stood staring at him, and greeted her. "How's your bike working now?" He gave her all 100 watts of his best smile. The sparkles were nearly visible to the naked eye.

Her onigiri apparently forgotten midchew, the girl's green eyes widened. She frantically swallowed the chunk of nori-wrapped rice while gabbling for something nice and witty to say. The paper bag slipped from her fingers, and she gave an inarticulate cry as it hit the ground, spilling her breakfast out on the roadside.

"Hauu!", she mourned, tears of embarrassment forming in her eyes.

Taking some pity on her, Hayate bent over while still on his bike and picked up the onigiri which had rolled closest to him. "I'm sorry about that", he offered more quietly. "I hadn't meant to startle you". Gently smiling, he handed her back her rice balls. "You'll have to forgive me, but I didn't quite catch your name the last time we met".

"Hawawawa!... T-that's okay. My name's A-Ayumu. Nishizawa Ayumu", the girl stammered out nervously.

"Nice to meet you, Nishizawa-san. I'm Hayate. Ayasaki Hayate." He saw his watch and swore under his breath. "I'd love to stay a little longer and chat, but I've a bus to catch soon." he started cranking the pedals for all he was worth. "Maybe I'll see you during Summer Break, Nishizawa-san!", Hayate called out waving with one hand.

The girl Ayumu waved goodbye to him until he quickly vanished from sight. _'At least it wasn't a_ total _bust'_, she thought to herself. The boy who'd saved her from going over that cliff last year would still be returning home on vacation. Plus now she knew his name! With that positive line of thought in mind, she nearly skipped on her way to school. The hamster on it's wheel inside her head was furiously scribbling down the name of the boy she'd only just been reacquainted with into a battered memo pad.

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><p>Going around moving cars at a fast clip, Hayate swore vehemently. It was always nice seeing a face which <em>didn't <em>bring up unpleasant memories, but this was cutting it a bit close. Rounding a delivery truck which was turning off to the side, he caught sight of a yellow school bus sitting at the roadside at a schedule sign on the curb. There was a tall man wearing a bus driver's uniform leaning against the sign puffing away on a cigar. As Hayate brought his bike to a screeching halt behind the bus, the driver's head snapped him a look, taking in his features carefully.

"**Another five minutes, boy, and I was going to give you up for lost"**, the Driver grinned at him cheerlessly.

"I am so sorry, sir. I just had a bit of a delay, is all", Hayate said and gave the driver a bow.

"**Now, now, my boy... no need for the formality here. Let's get your stuff squared away and we'll be off."** The Driver's lip curled a bit in amusement.

Hayate watched as the Bus Driver stowed his luggage in the bottom storage bays, and promptly locked them up afterward. He stared hard at the young man's bicycle a moment.

"**Will you be locking that up here, boy? It'll be a long time before you see it again, if ever"**, the Bus Driver gave a 'He hehehe!' of a laugh.

"A-actually, Bus Driver-san, would you be able to fit my bike on the bus? I dare not leave this back home", Hayate said, a bit creeped out by the Driver's manner.

"**You're in luck, young man. As it happens, this bus **_**does**_** have a bike rack, on the very front"**, The Driver stated, the eyes showing under the bill of his cap glowing with good cheer to match the smoldering stoggie clenched in his teeth.

A few minutes later the bicycle was strapped onto the pullout rack with the bungee cord used for Hayate's luggage, and both individuals were in their seats on the bus. The Driver turned his head around a bit to stare at Hayate with one eye.

"**You're my only passenger on this trip boy, so make yourself comfortable. It's going to be a **_**looooooong **_**ride to Youkai Academy." **He flipped the switch to close the door, and then pushed another button as he simultaneously turned the Bus's ignition key.

The sign over the bus's windshield changed to read in Kanji 'Youkai Gakuen'. As the bus started to roll away from the curb and join traffic passersby were treated to a rolling eerie laughter, causing many to sweatdrop nervously. Back on the bus, Hayate relaxed when the Driver's laughter died out. After what he'd been subjected to in his short life, if this was the worst he'd face at his new school then things were definitely looking up for him. But, as always, Hayate was the sort of person who thought deep down that if there was a light at the end of a tunnel it couldn't _possibly_ be anything other than oncoming traffic. A _lot_ of it.

Things _couldn't_ be much worse where he was going compared to where he'd just been.

Could it?

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><p><span>Author's Notes<span>: Whew! Banged this chapter out pretty quickly. It's my first fan fiction, so I wasn't sure what to start off with. This story is one I'm planning no set pairings with. I have a few idea I'm playing with at this point and I may have a few surprises in store for you guys, so please be patient with me. I have medical issues I deal with IRL, so they'll take precedence over this.

So, please read and review. Constructive criticism is _always_ welcome. PM me if you feel like it.

This is the Priest, signing off.


	2. Welcome to Youkai Academy!

**Disclaimer****: Same as the first. If it wasn't so, I'd be in a better house than this two-story cardboard box.**

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><p><em>The sign over the bus's windshield changed to read in Kanji 'Youkai Gakuen'. As the bus started to roll away from the curb and join traffic passersby were treated to a rolling eerie laughter, causing many to sweatdrop nervously. Back on the bus, Hayate relaxed when the Driver's laughter died out. After what he'd been subjected to in his short life, if this was the worst he'd face at his new school then things were definitely looking up for him. But, as always, Hayate was the sort of person who thought deep down that if there was a light at the end of a tunnel it couldn't <em>possibly_ be anything other than oncoming traffic. A _lot_ of it. _

_Things _couldn't_ be much worse where he was going compared to where he'd just been._

_Could it?_

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>: Welcome to Youkai Academy!_  
><em>

About an hour later, Hayate was checking his luggage to make sure the cord holding it was tight enough to prevent it from falling off the rack.

"**If I were you I'd watch myself, sonny. Youkai Academy can be a _very_ scary place -Heh heh heh-"**, the Driver warned.

Hayate sweatdropped. "Thanks for the advice".

Having made sure his charge was ready, the Driver tipped his cap in salute and closed the door to the bus. Soon enough, the bus had turned around and was headed back up the tunnel it had emerged from, its horn blaring twice. Hayate sighed and took a better look at his surroundings.

Dead trees made up the majority of the forest which abutted the road leading off into the distance. A scarecrow was planted in front of one tree with what appeared to be some kind of sign. He moved to look at the sign. In Kanji, it read _'Youkai Private Academy'_. A murder of crows were perched in the tree's branches, making a racket. About a half mile up was a fork in the road with a pair of weathered obelisks where the two roads met. One road lead off towards what appeared to be a cemetery of some kind, past which were a number of large buildings. '_the school?'_, Hayate wondered. The other road seemed to go off deeper into the forest on the left side.

The right hand road ran alongside a sea cliff for part of the way. Wine dark red waters crashed against jagged rocks at the bottom, throwing up spray as far as the cliff's edge where Hayate had moved to look. The sun was in what he assumed was the eastern sky. Amazingly enough, the moon was still visible somewhat in the far western sky, a large dim crescent. The surprisingly warm breeze carried the unmistakable scent of rotting seaweed and unidentifiable decaying sea animals, proof of life.

_'Well... no sense sticking around here'_, Hayate reasoned with himself. He went back to his bicycle and mounted the seat, his left foot poised to start off.

From behind him came the sound of a small bell ringing several times. He looked over his shoulder, but saw nothing except the dark entrance of the tunnel. He tuned back around and pushed off on his foot, slowly rolling forward.

From directly behind him, too close for his comfort, Hayate heard a girl's voice scream, "Get out of the way!" The next thing he knew he was ass over elbows in the air, a shower of his luggage crashing meteorites around him as he hit the ground in a dust cloud. That didn't keep him from spying the girl flying overhead like a pink-haired comet before she too crash-landed rather ungracefully. He idly thought it ironic, seeing how comets were considered an ill omen long ago.

_They were white..._

Hayate shook his head as he hauled himself upright using his arms. Still sitting with his legs out he took stock of the situation. Almost unbidden the fleeting image of white panties flashed through his mind. He shook his head much harder this time trying to dispel the distraction. _'Check to see if the other person is alright _first_!'_, Hayate chided himself. He crawled over to the girl who was laying in a fetal position. However another problem arose when his sight started going blurry red while he crawled. Blinded, he tried to calmly assess the situation again.

'_Okay... I'm bleeding somewhere on my head. Must be a really bad cut for it to get both my eyes in one shot. I can only guess my head got hit with one of the bikes.' _ He scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt while moving forward, his left hand feeling along ahead of him. It touched something soft and warm so he grabbed at it lightly.

"Ahh!", the girl gasped.

"S-sorry!", Hayate squeaked out in panic pulling his hand away quickly. _'Oh God, did I just do a Bad Touch? It figures'_, he thought disgustedly at himself. _'The very first girl I run into... actually _she_ ran into _me_... and I'm probably gonna wind up being labeled a pervert by her from here on out.'_

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I'm a bit anemic right now so my sight's a bit blurry", the girl apologized, shaking her head gently.

Having finished clearing the blood from his eyes sufficiently, Hayate got his second look of his accidental assailant. Clear emerald eyes stared up at him from a heart-shaped face which was framed nicely by the aforementioned pink hair. The girl's face registered alarm taking in his appearance.

"Oh no, you're bleeding!", she cried out, pushing herself up onto her skirted bottom. Pulling a handkerchief from her pocket she crawled closer to Hayate. As she got closer to him her nose twitched and her eyes seemed to glaze over a bit.

"No, this scent... my body is...", the pinkette hesitated a moment, trembling. She continued crawling up to Hayate, her face barely inches from his. Her full lips quivered minutely.

"You'll have to forgive me", she apologized again, "because...".

"B-because...?", Hayate questioned nervously, wondering if this was how forward the girls were in this school.

The seemingly amorous girl grabbed the sides of his face bringing herself closer, then turned her head sideways, her head next to his. "... because... I'm a vampire", she stated matter-of-factly.

"Eh?", Hayate intelligently asked.

*_**Chuuuuu...***_

Everything which had happened up until this point had been so surreal that much of it hadn't had time to register that in fact yes, he had arrived at his destination, it was like nothing he'd imagined when he'd started out, and yes he was getting bitten on the neck by a cute girl claiming to be a _vampire_ of all things. The only stimulae that registered in his mind was the brief pinch as her canines punctured the skin over his jugular, the slight pressure as she bit down, and the light suction she applied while taking slow gulps of his lifeblood.

After about a minute of this the pistons in Hayate's brain caught up to speed on current events and he panicked. As soon as she disengaged from him, he did a fast backpedaling crab walk, his back slamming into one of the trees hard enough for a shower of dry branches to rain down around him. He clamped a hand to his neck.

"H-huh? No wound?", he wondered faintly.

Her expression almost woebegone, the girl spoke up. "Sorry about that. I'm Akashiya Moka. Even though I look like this, I really _am_ a vampire."

"Is that how vampires say 'hello' these days? No 'Do you come here often'? No 'what's your sign'? Just ***Chomp***?", Hayate dryly asked while getting up and dusting himself off.

The pinkette pouted cutely from where she sat kneeling. "Well, is that how _guys_ introduce themselves these days? By playing Inquisition and Twenty Questions?", Moka fired back. She accepted the hand that Hayate offered her and got up off the dirt road.

Something inside Hayate's mind whistled.

_Cute _and_ witty? I think I'm in love._

Hayate shook his head to clear it.

He scratched the side of his head sheepishly. "I didn't mean to get off on the wrong foot there Akashiya-san, sorry. The name's Hayate. Ayasaki Hayate." Hayate laughed nervously.

The girl demurred, waving her hand back and forth rapidly, "No no, Moka's fine. Anyway... you wouldn't happen to... hate vampires, would you?" She looked hesitant.

Giving a nervous laugh again, Hayate thought for a moment and then said, "Well, you're kind of the first vampire I've ever met in my life. And after talking to you this far, you _seem_ like an okay person." '_For a blood-sucking creature of the night, at any rate'_, Hayate thought privately. "Sooo... I'd have to say I don't dislike vampires." He looked at Moka for her reaction.

Moka clapped her hands together just under her nose and gave a relieved sigh. "Thank God. It'd be the worst if the first person I met going to high school decided they hated me." She looked up at Hayate more hopefully. "Would you be my first friend, then?" The girl put out her hand slowly.

The blunette boy thought a bit more and made his second fateful decision:

"Sure, Moka-san. Pleased ta meetcha." His face relaxed by degrees and his smile became less forced and more natural. They stayed like that for a minute or two and then disengaged.. "Now, let's get our stuff together, shall we? If we don't hurry we'll miss the opening ceremony."

Her eyes widened and Moka cried out, "Oh shoot, that's right! Thanks for reminding me. I'll go on ahead, Hayate-kun. See you at the ceremony!" She picked up her bike and waved at him.

Watching the pink-haired vampire roll swiftly away, Hayate sighed. _'Not here more than twenty minutes and already making friends. With a _vampire_, no less. What's next... an_ esper_?'_ He gathered all his scattered luggage and re-strapped them back onto the rack of his ten-speed before giving the whole area a last look.

Still, all things considered, so far it hasn't been that bad here. He'd have to play the rest of it by ear, all of his previously conceived notions thrown out the window.

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><p>By the time Hayate had handed in his application, been sized for his school uniform, and given his room assignment he'd almost missed the start of the opening ceremony for new students. He'd looked for the girl Moka in the massive crowd of first years, but no luck. And just like that, it was time to head for Homeroom.<p>

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><p>First Year Room Three wasn't hard to find, thankfully. Entering, Hayate noticed that a good number of the seats were yet empty meaning he'd be able to choose where he sat... unless the seating arrangements were handled by the teachers here. Most of the students were in little clusters, talking. A few were already seated. One was a blue-haired girl surrounded by several male students with lovestruck gazes aimed her way. Moving to take a window seat three up from the back of the classroom, Hayate caught the sensation of being watched. Sure enough several girls about the room were stealing surreptitious glances at <em>him.<em> Some of them with faintly dusted pink cheeks. He took his seat. _'Ignore it... play nonchalant. Maybe they'll lose interest'_, he thought hopefully.

The bell rang for first period, and a bunch of stragglers wandered in. Everyone took their seats promptly just as the door on the front of the classroom opened and a svelte woman with tawny blond hair sauntered in. She slid the classroom door shut and walked up to the podium, clutching a clipboard to her ample breasts. Placing the clipboard on the podium, the woman cleared her throat.

"My name is Nekonome Shizuka, and I'll be your homeroom teacher. Welcome to Youkai Academy-nya~!", she enthused. "As you will all know already this is a school for **monsters **exclusively!"

_Eh? _Hayate felt his eyes start to shrink in size to pinpoints. He fought to keep an attentive smile on his face while he struggled to marshal the rest of his facial features into a mask of normalcy. It took monumental effort but he managed it.

Oblivious to any of her student's internal struggles, Nekonome-sensei continued on. "The current problem is that the Earth is under the control of the humans, so in order for us monsters to continue to survive we must learn how to coexist with them." She nods once to emphasize her point. "As such, you will be studying how to blend in among humans. And that means the first Rule of living here at Youkai Academy is: _You will all be in your **human disguises** at all times! You are all also to never divulge or hint at what your true forms might be. _You got that?"

_'Well, no problem keeping _those_ two rules, Sensei'_, Hayate thought morosely, _'especially seeing as how I have no other form than_ this_ one.'_

"Hey Teach, why don't we just kill and eat the puny humans except the pretty girls we can molest?" one student, a brutal looking dirty blond boy called out. _'He must be a delinquent'_, Hayate thought.

Nekonome-sensei recovered from the interruption and went on further. "Your teachers and the rest of the faculty are monsters also, so there's no chance of any of you meeting a human while here, since this Academy is under a secret Great Barrier. And any human who _does_ discovers this place will be given **death**... or something...", she finished off with. The tufts of tawny colored hair on either side of her head twitched, almost like ears.

_'Great... first day on campus and I'm already at the top of everyone's To-Kill List'_, Hayate groaned internally. _'Who's bright idea was it to enroll in this place, anyway? Oh wait... that would be _me_.'_ He turned his head to the side and rested it on his desk. _ 'Well, I have no one to blame here but myself, so I might as well go along with it for now.' _A commotion at the front of the room pulled Hayate from his inner musings.

'Excuse me. Sorry I'm late", a familiar voice apologized. "I got lost on the way from the auditorium."

"That's fine", Nekonome-sensei waved the girl's apology off. "Just take any available seat."

Murmurs in the classroom become a low roar. Then the dam broke.

"Oh gods, she's so _hawt_!"

"I'm so glad to be alive today!"

"Please go out with me!"

With the exception of Hayate, and the blond delinquent all the other guys in the room were making idiots of themselves. And the only reason Hayate was silent was that he was wondering once again if God _really_ hated him, or was just being a colossal dick as usual. Because none other than the girl who'd run into him, one Akashiya Moka, had set foot in Class 1-3, and started looking for an empty desk when she spotted him sitting at his a bit further away.

His voice finally recovered enough to stammer out, "M-Moka...?"

"Hayate...? We're in the same class! This is _soo_ cool!" Hayate saw the glomp coming and braced himself. Even so, the surprising show of strength by the teenage vampiress surprised him, rocking him back slightly.

In the rest of the room, Pandemonium erupted as the boys saw their new idol and candidate for Academy Beauty #1 just embrace the weak-looking but cute blunette guy.

"**Whaaaaa~t!"**, was the collective male response.

"What the hell is _that_ guy's relationship with her!"

Much moaning and gnashing of teeth followed, including some rather impressive death glares at Hayate. The girls who'd been checking out Hayate earlier were adding their own, targeting Moka. _No one _noticed the look the blond bullyboy was giving the ecstatic pinkette.

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><p>All too soon homeroom was over, and despite Hayate's hopes and prayers at the start of homeroom it was all in vain. For no sooner did the bell ring then he found himself in the middle of a group of his female classmates. The only ones not among the throng of curious girls were Moka and the cyan haired cutie within her own crowd of ardent male suitors. Moka was trying unsuccessfully to get into the middle of the gaggle of girls, but no dice. "Excuse me... pardon me...". Some of the guys still hanging around the classroom were trying to chat Moka up with little to nothing to show for it.<p>

Meanwhile, the girls were firing off questions like mortar rounds:

"Where are you from originally, Ayasaki-kun?"

What do you think of the Academy so far?"

"Do you have a girlfriend back home, Ayasaki-kun?"

"When's your birthday?"

"What's your favorite food for lunch, Ayasaki-kun?"

"... Do you...?"

"... What is..."

"... Ayasaki-kun?"

"Ayasaki-kun..."

Head spinning, Hayate fought mightily to regain his scattered wits. His Fight or Flight instinct kicked in, and with a panicked 'Sorry!' he jump-flipped over the crowd and beat feet out the door.

From behind in the classroom could be heard "Hey... he disappeared!" followed by a chorus of groans.

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><p>Throughout the first floor of the school students in the hallway were treated to a strong wind which whipped the girls skirts up high enough to show thighs and more, prompting several male students to exsanguinate from their nasal cavities explosively.<p>

"_Nooo!_"

"Damnit! Who left a floor fan on?"

***Splort!*** "Gubeh~!"

For the students who could, all they saw passing them by was a blue green and tan streak.

* * *

><p>In a deserted alcove under one of the stairways Hayate had taken shelter. Panting mainly from stress rather than exhaustion he tried putting things into perspective to calm himself down.<p>

Okay. One: he's enrolled himself into a school that's not only exclusive, it's exclusive to everyone who is _not_ a monster, namely _himself_. Two: if anyone catches on to the fact that he's not a monster, they will almost certainly **kill** him for being here... or just for being human, apparently.

Hayate focused more intensely on this point. That girl Moka. Does she realize that I'm human from the taste of my blood alone? "Hmm... that's a good point", he mused to himself.

"What's a good point, Hayate-kun?", came a voice from next to him.

He almost jumped out of his skin in shock. "Gyaa-!" His outburst was quickly silenced by a slender hand against his mouth.

"Ssh! You'll attract attention again. Isn't that why you ducked in here in the first place... so you wouldn't?", Moka asked, raising a pink eyebrow.

Hayate scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. It just got to be too much and I had to get away."

Moka laughed uncomfortably. "I saw... but anyway, what was that point you were talking about?"

"Oh... nothing. I was just trying to solve a problem I've been having lately. It's not that important. heh heh", he sweatdropped.

"Oh... okay. Well anyway...", the pink-haired girl fidgeted a bit with her eyes suddenly interested in the floor tile's texture. "... I was wondering if..."

"Yes?", Hayate tilted his head to the side a bit, a question mark plainly over his head.

"... well, today's classes are over with... so I was wondering if... you would go around with me to get more familiar... with the school buildings?" Moka turned her face up to look at him. Her face was quite red and her eyes had widened in entreaty. With her pointer fingers poking at each other it presented quite the picture. Unnoticed by either of the two several stars became embedded in the walls of the alcove like shuriken.

'_Cuuute!'_, Hayate's mind squeed. Shaking his head a bit to regain his higher brain functions, he blurted out, "Sure! I'd like that."

Relieved, Moka said, "Great!", and proceeded to grab onto the slightly off balance boy's left arm and haul him out of the stairway alcove.

* * *

><p>They had quite a time of it, wandering from one end of the Main Building to the other end by the cafeteria. Eventually the two intrepid adventurers found themselves in a section of the school outside under a roofed walkway near some canned drink machines and benches. Hayate bought a can of tomato juice for her, and a can of ginseng green tea for himself. They both sat down.<p>

After a long companionable silence spent just drinking, Moka was the first to break it. "So Hayate, what kind of monster are you?"

"Eh?', Hayate answered. What a guy.

"Oh wait... that's right. Telling others about you true form is a no-no, isn't it?", she pensively thought out loud. "Just ignore that question, would you?"

"S-sure, let's go with that", he agreed. Hayate took both of their empties and got up to toss them out in the receptacle next to the can machines for the purpose. Turning around he found Moka cornered where she sat on the bench by the blond boob from before in Homeroom.

"Salutations, Akashiya Moka. I'm your classmate from Homeroom, Komiya Saizou." He gave Hayate a sneer. "I'm just curious, but what is a fine woman like you doing associating yourself with a weedy guy like this?"

"That would be the lady's choice _wouldn't_ it, Komiya-kun?" The words fell coldly from the blue-haired young man's lips as he stared at the bigger boy with an unreadable face.

The blond's face twisted into the rictus of a snarl as he started toward the other boy. "You must think you're some slick shit, zooming the rest of the girls and then pulling a fade like some man of mystery or something, huh? Well I don't buy that." Hayate eyed the machines which were suddenly behind him and put his back against part of one. Saizou towered over him by about a foot and a half, and Hayate was no slouch in the height department as far as Japanese go. He waited for the right moment.

_Now!_

Hayate hadn't caught the movement, it was that quick and untelegraphed. But somehow he moved before he was aware of it, and he jerked to the side suddenly as a huge fist smashed into the spot he'd just been standing in.

'_F-fast!' _was his only thought.

His fist embedded in the can machine, Saizou's body started twitching and moving as if to some kind of crazy dance music no one else could hear.

**"G-G-G-G-G-G-G B-B-B-B-B-B-Ggbbbbbbrrrrraaaaaooo~!**

Eventually his body disengaged itself from the busted machine and fell bonelessly to the pavement stones. Smoke rose from his frizzy burnt locks. Hayate checked his body for vitals and felt a heartbeat. The other boy was breathing also. Sighing in relief, he walked over to the stunned vampire.

"B-but... how...?"

Smiling bashfully, he said, " I used to work with machines like that, stocking them, and making sure they had change as well as emptying the money from the collection trays. I knew where the electrical cables were in that thing and hoped he'd be stupid enough to try something like that. What I wasn't expecting was how fast or strong he'd be." Hayate shuddered. "If that had been one of the older models, or if he'd been able to land one hit on me I don't know how I'd have fared." He looked at the twitching body of the bullyboy and then turned back to Moka. "Let's get out of here before he comes to."

Moka agreed wholeheartedly and they started off towards where the dorms were situated. Along the way they continued their discussion.

'So, Moka-san... what type of family is yours?", Hayate opened up with a standard icebreaker.

Moka thought for a moment and said, "Well, they're not that close-knit. Daddy's got a lot of business interests, so he was often away from home. I'm the second youngest of four girls, all with different mothers. And for the past three years I had been living in the Human World with my mother." She looked at Hayate and smiled. "Your turn."

Hayate moved to the side and sat on top of one of the tombstones they were passing by. Swinging his legs back and forth he sighed. "There's not much to tell really. I'm the youngest of two children. My father is constantly unemployed, and my mother refuses to do any housework, so it's usually just me keeping the place intact. I have had to work since I was eight just to be able to eat, and even then they gambled the money they could get from me away. Until I started middle school they would periodically steal from my classrooms during PE or some other events and I'd get the blame for it somehow. To say my parents are the lowest scum on Earth would be an insult to respectable scum everywhere." He turned his head back down from reciting his usual filial explanation and saw a disbelieving Moka. Her bow was furrowed and her eyes were half-lidded.

"You know it's not nice to lie, Hayate-kun."

He snorted. "Moka-san, the only reason I'm here at Youkai Academy is because I _blackmailed _them into letting me go. They didn't _want_ me to come here to begin with! If they had their way, I'd still be working my part-time jobs to pay for their alcohol expenses and gambling debts. I wanted out of that hellhole anyway I could, even if it meant doing something dirty like that." He shook his head sadly. "I just wanted something better than that. Something to show for all my hard work. And if I can make some good friends along the way, even better." Hayate pushed off the tombstone he'd been sitting on and stretched.

"And you know, it has me wondering... what exactly _do_ you get out of being friends with a nobody like me anyway? Maybe Komiya-kun was full of it, but he raised a good point. You can do better than a low-life son of scum like..."

***Smack!***

Hayate put a hand to the cheek which he was sure would have a red hand print on it.

"Don't talk about yourself like that, Hayate! You are not nothing! After all, we're...", Moka stopped her scolding and reddened a bit.

"... We're...?"

"... we're... on blood-sucking terms." Hayate promptly facefaulted.

Sweatdropping, he dusted himself off. "So all I am to you is a liquid lunch, huh?", Hayate muttered.

"But... but your blood is _sooo_ yummy! You really get a lot of fresh foods into you and regular exercise, don't you? I can tell. That's the sign of a person who cares about their health. And with the amount of energy in your blood it's no wonder you're so fast!" Moka gazed at him admiringly. "So you are _not_ worthless, and I won't stand hearing that defeatist talk from you again, is that clear?" She scowled him, not unkindly.

"Yes, Ma'am!", Hayate saluted her, chuckling weakly.

"Well, here are the dorms!", she announced cheerfully. "Aren't they great?"

Now, Hayate hadn't taken the time to really examine both the dorms and the other school buildings he passed by during the earlier part of the day due to being in a rush. but with the time to really _see_ it for the first time he was quite taken aback. If the main school building and it's annexes were styled after Early Thrown-Away Gothic, then he'd have to classify the school dorms as Retro Ghetto. All that would be needed to finish off the look would be a few chalk lines with blood splotches inside them on the outside walkways, bars on all the windows, and a couple of drive-by shootings daily to complete the feel. He thought he saw a spider the size of a basket ball dragging a struggling smaller bundle into the undergrowth.

"Ah! Such dignity and character to this place... lovely" Moka enthused.

"I think I just saw some of this place's character drag off some of it's dignity into the bushes there," Hayate deadpanned, pointing.

She tittered. "This place may be under a barrier, but living things do call this place home, silly!"

"You know... the way you act, it's really hard to tell that you're a vampire, Moka-san. " _'hat is, if I hadn't seen the whole pointy teeth and drinking blood thing firsthand'_, he added on to himself.

Moka smiled. "But I _am_ a vampire. And if I take this Rosario off," pointing with both forefingers at the silver cross hanging from her neck, "I'll become an even scarier and _evil_ **super vampire**."

Hayate didn't know why he'd never paid the cross she was wearing much mind before, but now he did. A red gem was fastened into it's center, winking in the wan sunlight coming from he west as it swiveled on it's chain.

"A Rosario has the ability to seal a vampire's power, so before I went away to live with my mother in the Human World, I had it placed on me so I could make friends without worries." She looked a bit thoughtful.

'_Vampires, Rosarios, Sealing powers... I should probably get all this down so I can write a fiction novel later...'_ he chuckled to himself. _'But wait... what did she mean by 'Human World?'_ And nearly jumped when he'd noticed Moka being closer than she'd been just before.

"Sealed or not, we all still have one weakness though..." she hummed knowingly. Her face was again flushed, and her eyes were lit up with desire.

Nonplussed, Hayate croaked, "And that is...?"

"... Blood."

*_**Chuuuuu...***_

* * *

><p>The next morning, Hayate glumly strolled along the path to the Main Building from the Cafeteria. He was in a quandary.<p>

He'd spent a couple of hours last night writing a Note of Withdrawal before finally sleeping. His bike was packed with his stuff and hidden behind a large amount of the bushes and underbrush not far from the area where the Boys Dorm almost meets the main road**. **Now he was debating the choices and options left to him. Thankfully there weren't many students using this path on the way to class.

'_Stay and run the risk of being killed for being a human being... or go back home and admit defeat to those two deadbeats? Not to mention the fact that I'm probably nothing more than a juice box to Moka'_, Hayate thought sadly. He sighed deeply. _'Even so, I can't help but feel like something is holding me back...'_

All of a sudden he was tackled from behind. A couple of soft somethings were smushed into his back, and the smell of strawberries wafted into his nostrils.

"Morning, Hayate!", Moka chirped brightly. "If we don't hurry it up, we'll miss roll call." She disengaged from her perch on the flustered boy's back and noticed something missing.

"Where are your books, Hayate?", she asked quietly.

"I decided last night, Moka-san. I'm going to go back and enroll in a Human World school."

"Human School?... No!" Before the blunette boy was aware of it, Moka had gotten hold of both his shoulders and was shaking them hard enough to rattle teeth. "You can't just give up and go off to a Human School now! Besides, I _hate_ humans!"

Eyes and mouth open wide in shock, Hayate could only listen as she continued her diatribe.

"I went to a Human Middle School, y'know, after moving in with my mother. I hated it. I was lonely there. I had no friends. Everyone there treated me as though I were weird and shunned me." At this point Moka gave him a bright smile. "And then I got here, and you became my friend and it seemed like it didn't matter to you if I was a vampire or not." Her bright smile darkened a bit. "Please... don't go, Hayate. Let's just do our best here at Youkai, okay?"

Hayate interrupted her, raising one of his hands. "**If**...", he started. His head was facing the ground so the pink-haired bombshell couldn't read his expression. "... _if_ I were one of those humans you claim to hate so much... would you stop me from leaving, Moka-san?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, Moka said, "Please, Hayate, don't ever joke about that even half-seriously. Now c'mon... if we hurry we can still make the final bell." She grabbed one of his arms and began pulling him towards the main building. She was surprised when he pulled strongly enough in the opposite direction to dig _her_ heels into the dirt.

"... I'm human." It was softly said, yet to the other person hearing it it may as well have landed with all the thunder and fury of a hellfire missile. When no questions came from the stunned vampire, Hayate continued. "I don't know why it wound up in my path while I was working, but the application I found seemed like a way out of my dead end home life. My being here is an _accident_, Moka."

"B-but... your speed! Your strength...!", Moka tried countering. He shot that down quick.

"From the time I was little... about 6 or so... I've been training myself day after day. Exercising, bicycling, moving heavy stuff around while working. And now this unusually tough body is the result. It's my only redeeming feature, after all." Hayate turned his head around to look at her one final time. There were tears making tracks down the sides of his face.

"I'm only sorry you had the bad luck to run into me and taint yourself yesterday. But that won't be any problem for you now. I only wish... I... only... wish..." The trembling in his body getting worse, Hayate turned and choked out, "Goodbye... Moka...", and ran for his bike.

In his wake he left one very shaken and silent vampire girl.

* * *

><p>'<em>It's been so long since I had someone to talk to like that. Someone who I could relax around... when she's wasn't staring at my neck, that is..'<em> Hayate kicked his bike stand out and waited next to the dead tree near the tunnel. _'Well, I won't have to deal with the outright hatred for being what I am... but is this alright... leaving things like this?'_ He glanced at the bus schedule and then to his wristwatch. The bus wouldn't be long now. Another half an hour and... he'd be on his way.

* * *

><p>Racing full tilt towards the bus stop, Moka waged an internal battle. <em>'He may be human, but... but he was my first friend. This whole thing is messed up!' <em>In the home stretch before seeing the tunnel Moka didn't notice the large shadow following her from behind among the trees.

* * *

><p>Running footsteps made Hayate look in the direction of the noise. From the turn in the tree covered path came a now familiar pink-haired figure. "Moka...? What... Why?", he asked quietly.<p>

She stopped a few meters from him and crouched down slightly, panting heavily. Her body was trembling. At first the bewildered blue-head wasn't sure he was hearing correctly, but soon it was confirmed when the sound of sobbing touched his ears softly.

*Hic!* "I'm...so *Hic!*... sorry, Hayate. I didn't know... *Gulp!*... that you'd had it just as bad *Sob!*... if not worse than I did. I was st-stupid to *Hic!* ... assume my life was the only one that was so tough." She picked her gaze off the ground and stared directly into his face. Tears were making a small puddle on the ground at her feet. "I don't mind if you never forgive me *Hic!*... I deserve it... but please... _please_ don't go away like that *Gulp!*." Moka wiped her reddening eyes on her sleeve, making a mess of it.

If there was one thing Hayate couldn't stand to watch, it was a crying girl, human or otherwise. He stepped slowly forward and placed his hand on Moka's trembling shoulder and grasped it gently.

"There was a time long ago when I said the wrong thing to someone I cared about very deeply. Someone who I hurt with my careless words, so I'm not one to judge you unfairly when _I'm_ just as guilty of the same mistake. The difference between us is it's too late for me to apologize to that person and ask for forgiveness. Nine, ten years is a long time and the pain still hurts even now." Hayate looked uncomfortable talking about such a personal issue but he continued. At any rate he saw he had the sniffling girl's undivided attention.

"So what I'm trying to say, Moka-san, is that I forgive you." He gave her a slightly watery gentle smile.

Hayate's arms filled rapidly with a sob-wracked pink-haired vampire. His shoulder was becoming quite sodden but he didn't care at this point. Tears of joy were a hell of a lot different than those of sorrow. He'd take those any day.

"... I'm so sorry for hurting you like that... *Sniff!*", Moka mumbled into his shoulder. He shook his head.

"That doesn't matter now, Moka-san. If all I got out of this whole school deal is one good friend, then it'll have all been worth it. I _do_ want more friends, but I'll take one to start with."

She lifted her head from Hayate's shoulder and would've said something, but was rudely interrupted from behind by the sound of clapping.

"D'aaawwww... that gets me right here it does. Warm and fuzzy feelings all around, yes? Manly tears, I'm telling ya." Saizou stopped clapping and wiped imaginary tears from the corners of his eyes, sneering at them both the whole time. "That there's some great Oscar material, chief. I'd say 'break a leg' but I'll be doing more than just that to you in a moment, which is a shame now that I think about it. Such a promising future in show business, cut tragically short." The blond serial rapist cracked his knuckles and called out louder. "Hey! You can do your thing now!"

From behind them came a gurgling noise. What Saizou had distracted the two of them from noticing with his entrance was another person sneaking up. Suddenly Hayate's arms and waist were caught up in another boy's slimy embrace. He struggled, but it felt like his body wasn't receiving the signals from his brain and wouldn't do what he wanted it to.

"Hey... Saizou... you said I could eat this one, right?", the other boy gurgled out.

"Yeah yeah, sure. Knock yourself out. The girl is mine to sample though... until I tire of her, that is", Saizo laughed crudely.

Putting all his strength of will and body together, Hayate struggled to twist his body this way and that to loosen the slimy boy's hold on him. He found purchase on the ground under both of them and began to spin himself around rapidly, faster and faster and faster. Pretty soon portions of the other guy's body were flying off into the roadside, the treeline, and the dead grass around them. Partially numb and still unable to move the way he wanted to exactly, Hayate shook his head to try and stop the spinning. It wasn't helping.

The delinquent, who'd been in the process of removing pieces of Moka's uniform with his overly long tongue (_ewww!_) now stared at this scene in disbelief. He tossed the girl to the side roughly, and she hit the road hard. His height and width started jumping up exponentially, and bony spurs and talons appeared. A deep snarl worked itself into a basso roar as Saizou approached the still-recovering human boy.

"This shit is getting pretty old, chief. Why don't you be a good bug and go **splat** for once?" Suiting action to words, Saizou's fist, with all the finesse and inevitability of a Mack Truck barreled into Hayate's torso smashing ribs and knocking him backwards a dozen yards... not more than a few feet from where Moka cowered. An impressive trail of broken ground marked his passage.

Hayate rolled painfully onto his side, facing the distraught vampire. "Moka... run... *Cough!*", he got out between clenched teeth. Blood-flecked spittle hit the dry ground when he coughed. The badly beaten boy grabbed onto Moka's uniform front to try and push her away towards the school, but as was still the case his hands didn't do what he wanted them to exactly. His left hand closed over the silver cross hanging on her chest and clung to it. His falling weight was all that was needed to pull the cross off the chain.

***Clink!***

Moka's eyes widened in shock. "The Rosario... came off?"

Assaulted by a sudden increase in pressure from the pink-haired girl, Hayate collapsed into unconsciousness. Saizou, on the other hand, trembled mightily. Something was wrong.

Her body moving into a standing position, Moka's appearance underwent a drastic change: The color of her hair went from pink to silver, and her cup size also went a size higher. What was once timid now stood proudly... what was once weak now stood with overwhelming presence.

This was no ordinary monster. This was the power of an S-Ranked Monster. The Super Vampire!

The Silver-haired Moka opened her eyes and blood-red orbs of a slitted nature stared across the tableaux at the startled orc. Her full lips quirked as she sneered at him, much larger canines than she usually sported poking out.

_**"So... this is the **_**little man**_** who thought to make me his plaything, hmm?"**_ Moka's voice, usually a dulcet one had tumbled down somewhat in octaves until it sounded like nothing more than the husky feminine purr of a big jungle cat.

Shaking badly, Saizou disbelievingly said, "I'm afraid? Me? You're not Akashiya Moka... you _can't_ be!" His eyes widened further and even greater shock than he'd shown before shut him up as he raised a talon pointing to the side of the reborn vampire.

She turned her head to the side and gasped herself. Standing unaided with his eyes hidden from view was the previously unconscious blunette boy. He lifted his head slightly and both the other two combatants could see his featureless white eyes, glowing with a bright white light. Slowly he stalked forward step by step towards the two.

How she had missed his awakening she couldn't begin to guess. That and the fact that his energy level, which had been admittedly higher than a normal human's to start with had now climbed higher. Almost equaling... no... starting to exceed her own! It wasn't youki at all, which was perplexing. Moka couldn't tell what was happening, frustrating her to no end.

Both the vampire and the orc jumped a bit when a sharp crack was heard. It seemed whatever was giving the boy the strength to move had also realigned his ribcage. By now the power of his aura was sufficient for both to see a bright blue light coruscating off of Hayate's body. He stopped abreast of the watching super vampire and turned his head to look at her. He brought his gaze back upon the cowering orc, then turned back to Moka. With a small smile he sketched a bow to her with his right hand pointing to Saizo as if to say _Ladies First_.

The Silver-haired Moka's mouth opened into a smile and her eyes widened in pleasure.

_**"An enigma **_**and **_**a gentleman. Very well, I accept your kind offer, Sir."**_ She answered his bow with a curtsy of her own, then faced off against Saizo. _**"It seems your punishment was left to my tender mercies, orc."**_

"I don't know what happened here, but neither one of you are getting out of this alive! Hedoro! Do your thing!" The furious delinquent looked about the area for his slime ally. When nothing happened, he called out again. "Hedoro, where the fuck _are_ you!"

_**"A wiser monster, he. Small fry such as yourself though should..."**_,rocketing forward on her right leg, Moka leaped into the air corkscrewing her left foot into the bully's face knocking him back until he hit the rock cliff face on the roadside leading to the tunnel, _**"... Learn Your Place!" **_Standing poised with her left leg out and in a guarded position such as a Muay Thai fighter might use, the argent-haired vampire watched the devastation for signs of renewed activity. When none was forthcoming from the orc's impromptu stone cairn, she relaxed a bit.

Moka turned her attention back to the watching human boy. He hadn't moved from the spot he'd stopped in while she took the delinquent to school, but now he shambled toward her. She took up a defensive stance until her battle senses told her there was no killing intent there. So she merely stood and watched as he approached her. His energy was behaving erratically, flaring at times and then guttering like a torch in a strong wind.

Upon getting within a few feet of her, Hayate's eyes suddenly returned to their original baby blues and he looked upon his female classmate in wonder.

_'Silver hair... red eyes... is that Moka? Am... I ... dreaming... this?' _His eyes glazed over at this last thought, and his consciousness started to slide back down into darkness.

Hayate collapsed into something soft... something which smelled of strawberries. And just before the blackness claimed him he heard the husky velvet voice of an angel:

_**"He **_**smells****_ human... and yet that strength... what _are _you, Ayasaki Hayate?"_**

* * *

><p>Having not been seen by anyone back at the ambush point, the slime creature Hedoro made good on his fastest getaway on record. He couldn't believe anything could resist his paralysis ability so easily.<p>

"Too many strong ones at this school", the badly frightened creature gurgled. "Should never have come. But parent said I was smartest in the nest, so I go." He slid around trees and tombstones in his mad haste to find shelter.

A legwarmer-clad limb came down, blocking his forward progress. A silken voice called out in the air,

"Oh-ho~? Why not tell me more about these 'strong ones' you've seen, hmm?"

Hedoro looked up with his head from the pile of slime which made up the majority of his body. Large batlike wings sprouting from the back, long talons coming out of slender fingers, bright points of light where eyes should be, and a lazily moving spade-tipped tail were the only other distinguishing features that could be seen of the shadowy figure.

This had _not_ been a good day for the slime, and was looking to be getting worse by the minute. He gurgled and burbled incoherently in fright. The figure, however, took the other creature's noise as a 'no' and narrowed it's eyes. It slowly moved in.

Had anyone been close enough they would have heard an inhuman screech cut off by the sound of something large and wet exploding.

* * *

><p>Hayate awoke with a start. Giving himself a moment to collect his wits, he sat up.<p>

As it turns out the makeshift pillow his head had been resting on was Moka's lap. Moka was dozing, her head bobbing gently back and forth. He turned his face away from her to hide the growing blush on it. Looking to the sky Hayate was startled. The sun looked to have moved quite a bit since the last time he'd seen it. His watch read 4:38 PM, which meant that he'd been out of it for the past seven to eight hours.

The pink-haired girl was just starting to stir and stretch her arms out when she looked at him with concern.

"What is it, Hayate?", Moka asked. "Is something the matter?"

"Moka-san... what happened? The last thing I remember was getting hit by Komiya-kun's fist and being shoved along the road. I tried... pushing you away, then I must've blacked out. By the way, where _is_ Komiya-kun?"

By way of answer, Moka sheepishly pointed in the direction of the rock cliff face. Hayate saw the huge pile of rocks and shuddered. He turned his head and looked at the embarrassed vampire.

"Okay, that answers that question. Now, the 125,000 Yen question is: _what_ did that to him?"

Again, she pointed her finger, this time at herself. If anything the blush got worse as she fought _not_ to stare away from Hayate. The blue-haired boy sweatdropped. It was a regular sweat drop convention.

"Remember how I told you I become an extra scary vampire when my Rosario comes off? Well, you pulled my Rosario off before, and _she_ appeared", Moka meekly explained.

_'When it comes off 'she' appears? Multiple personality Disorder? Disassociative Personality Disorder? Exactly what am I dealing with here?'_ Hayate shook his head. _'Doesn't matter. A friend is a friend. And I _definitely_ want her as a friend.' _Nodding to himself, he got up and dusted his clothes off. He offered his hand to Moka, which she gratefully accepted with a smile.

'Well", Moka began speaking hesitatingly, "if you really want to leave, I'm not going to hold you back. Though I'd be lying if I said I _wanted_ you to." She stared into Hayate's blue eyes with her own watery emerald ones.

Hayate nodded to her firmly. "I've made my choice and I'm sticking by it." He went to the tree where his bike still stood and pulled the kickstand back. Walking to the debarkation point, he spotted the bus coming out of the tunnel ahead. It had just turned to 4:44 PM.

The Bus pulled up alongside the boy and it's doors opened. The Driver greeted him.

**"I see you decided to leave after all, sonny boy. If that's your choice, that's fine. Let's get started then." **He got out of his seat and waited until Hayate had removed his luggage before grabbing the bicycle and moving it to the rack in front of the bus. The Bus Driver waited a moment with his hand out for the bungee cord, and then raised an eyebrow.

Hayate put his bags down and bowed deeply to the Driver. "Thank you, Bus Driver-san, but I made my decision before you arrived. I'm staying." He straightened up from his position and smiled at the Driver. "In return for your help I'm giving you my bike. It's old but still serviceable. I won't be needing it here anyway it seems." He handed the Driver the bungee and then picked up his luggage, one hand for each case and the straps of his other bags over each shoulder reversed. That done, Hayate walked the short distance back to the crying Moka. She promptly tackled him with a squeal of delight, knocking the two of them down.

The Driver secured the bike then pulled a fresh cigar from his uniform chest pocket. He lit the clipped end with his gloved thumb and grinned, blowing out a cloud of rich tobacco smoke. The Driver tipped his hat unseen to the departing duo.

**"You've a long way to go, boy. Make sure you keep up that level of courage and you'll do just fine."**He went back on board the bus. Pretty soon the bus made the turnaround, and horn honking twice in farewell re-entered the Tunnel.

* * *

><p>"But what made you decide to stay, Hayate?", Moka asked curiously, clinging to the burdened boy's right side.<p>

Hayate tried choosing his next words carefully. Emphasis on _tried_.

"Well, to be honest... I want you (to help me). I _need_ you (to help me)." He looked with all seriousness into her blushing face. "I don't think I could make it here _without_ you (helping me)."

Face as red as an apple, Moka quietly said, "B-but... are you sure?" She fidgeted. 'You know I can become an evil vampire who does a lot of damage when my Seal is off... that doesn't frighten you?"

Hayate smiled and countered, "That's not important. Sure your other self scares me a _little_,but if I can get along with you and eventually get along with your other self, it shouldn't matter, should it?"

The pinkette vampire demurred. "B-but, it's such a huge step. I feel a bit overwhelmed."

"No problem! We can start small and work our way up from there. And if I can genuinely get to know and befriend your other half, I should have a good chance of making other friends here." He smiled at her brightly. "It's win-win for both of us!"

Moka moved to face Hayate while he was talking. Her face was bare inches from his.

He was suddenly apprehensive. "M-Moka... san?"

"Don't you think we should seal this... with a kiss... Hayate?", Moka murmured, her face closing in on his slowly. Her slender hands grabbed his shoulders tightly and pulled him in. Hayate panicked a bit and reflexively closed his eyes. When her hot breath touched his throat, they popped back open in confusion.

"Eh?"

_***Kapu-Chuuuuu...***_

* * *

><p><span>Author's Notes<span>: God, this turned into a long ass chapter. I just hope it slakes your literary lusts like I hope and pray it does.

I tried keeping the two primary characters featured so far IC, but it's been tough. Moka may usually be all deredere, but meeting a character who's as cynical as Hayate is might change that a bit. Hayate himself will also change based on his past experiences and how others treat him from here on out. I decided he wouldn't be used to getting that much attention from a large group of girls as opposed to say a few. That and since weird things have been happening since he arrived at Youkai he's gonna be a bit more aware about his surroundings and a bite less air-headed. That doesn't mean he'll lose his obliviousness entirely, though. He's also had a lonely life up until now, and usually if he was lucky he'd just be ignored. But being shown hatred to him, especially by a girl he's gotten to know a bit and _liked_ would probably end with him acting as he did when he and Athena parted almost ten years before: he'd just cry and walk away. Those wounds are still festering deep down, and only with the right care will they heal. How will all that happen? You'll just have to wait and see, Dear Readers!

As always, read and review if you wish. I'm also looking for others to help me proofread my work. It _does_ help to have the point of view of others when writing... unless you think I'm doing a good enough job proofreading. If so, read, review and _tell me so! _ I need input. :(

Take care all! This is the Priest, signing off.


	3. Misunderstandings make for Strange Bedfe

**Disclaimer****: Same as the first chapter. Please try and contain your laughter.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 3: Misunderstandings make for Strange Bedfellows <span>

Sometimes you can tell what kind of day it's going to be if you look carefully at all the available signs. Like paying attention to how the tea leaves in your cup first thing in the morning behave while steeping in your cup. Or how many times you sneeze, with the positive thought that maybe it's good things about you and not just you getting sick.

As luck would have it, Hayate wound up getting a single room with a kitchen and a full bathroom for his use. This included an old battered kettle someone had left in the cupboard. So, as he made his morning cup of tea, he happily poured out the piping hot water into his mug, careful to not splatter himself with the scalding liquid. As the water started showing the reddish-brown color of the orange pekoe after a couple of minutes, he watched as some of the tea leaves floated to the surface, including one particularly strawlike piece which twirled gently in the thermal undercurrent at the bottom of the cup. The piece of tea leaf bobbed up and down twice and then sank to the bottom of the mug. Hayate didn't know what to make of that.

Walking to the stairs leading to the first floor of the Boys Dorm, he sneezed. Not once; not twice; not even three times. _Twelve times_ he sneezed in rapid succession. Guys in the halls spied him and gave him a wide berth. Blowing his nose on his handkerchief, Hayate wondered if the building had a dust problem. From his room to the foyer of the Boys Dorm he heard whispered conversation, which would go silent when he passed by.

Things started getting weird for him after he'd been walking for a few minutes to the Main School Building. Since he was going the same direction as everyone else was at the moment, most of those talking were doing so in their indoor voices. Low but able to be heard walking by:

"Did you hear about that First Year Komiya Saizou?"

"The one sent to the intensive care area of the Hospital?"

"_I _heard that most of the bones in his body were pulverized."

"Wow. Who could've done _that_?"

"Well, word is that that guy Ayasaki did it."

"You're shitting me! You mean that weedy guy?"

"I know, right? Well, my roommate has a friend who helps out at that hospital some days as an orderly. He heard that Saizou guy moaning something about 'Ayasaki' and 'Glowing Eyes of Doom' or some shit when they wheeled him in. The guy looked like he'd been run through a giant rock tumbler with fucking granite _boulders_."

Whistles of surprise and muttered words of sympathy for the undeserving molester were said.

While Hayate was listening to all this with growing dismay he failed to notice the ambush coming up from behind until it was far _far_ too late...

"Mornin', Hayate!", Moka chirruped after the initial shock of bodily collision had worn off. Thankfully her twin frontal shock absorbers fulfilled their functions nicely. The fresh scent of strawberries filled his nostrils as Hayate took an unconsciously appreciative sniff.

Having heard the commotion from behind, the conversationalists, white as sheets, quickly moved as far to the side of the road as it allowed and silently watched as the two walked past.

Whereas the last couple of days the guys were giving him silent death threats with slashing fingers across throats and hot salty tears of rage whenever they spied him with the vivacious vampire, now they had the look of people who'd just realized that all along they'd been within unsafe distances of a potentially Bad Time had they acted upon those murderous impulses. Moka didn't seem to notice or care about all the attention she was receiving, having her attention solely on the bewildered blue-head currently.

"Hayate, what's wrong? You've been quiet", the pinkette said with some concern as she switched to grabbing onto his left arm and entwining her arms with it.

"Uh... he he... nothing important, Moka-san. Morning to you, too", Hayate tried to cover up his anxiety with a laugh.

Moka, no idiot, started leading him off the main road into a more secluded grouping of trees and bushes. After making sure they'd probably not be overheard by anyone on the main road, she turned her piercing green eyes from looking around and nailed Hayate's azure ones in mild consternation.

"I can tell when you're dissembling, Hayate. Why are you lying to me?", she asked more than a little sad. "You know you can trust me to keep your secret, so I think a little candor on _your_ part should be more than fair, right?"

He scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess I... don't. It's not fair to you but... trusting others isn't that easy for me."

_Now_ was when Moka's eyes started forming unshed tears. "You mean... even after everything you said to me the other day, you still don't trust me? Do you even realize how much _I _need you too?" Her cheeks turned incarnadine in embarrassment.

Eyes wide and his own cheeks heating up, Hayate said in wonder, "M-Moka-san..."

The slight breeze blowing quickly dried her eyes, causing them to sparkle in the morning sun. "... Hayate."

"... Moka-san..." The moments were pure torture.

"... Hayate..."

When Hayate figured out what her real objective was in getting into his personal space, he sighed.

"Moka-san... if you needed some blood, you just had to ask, not play this little game."

She pouted cutely. "It's not _my_ fault your blood is so yummy it's addicting."

The blunette boy considered for a moment. "That's another thing I was wondering. Moka-san, how much blood do you need _really_?"

Putting her finger to her lip, Moka said, "I can get by with a pint every three days and be fine."

In a flat tone Hayate said, "I'm sorry, Moka-san, but I just remembered something I needed to do for Nekonome-sensei before class starts, I have to run now. See you in class." He turned and ran out to the main road, scattering students who tried to get out of his way as fast as they could. The pinkette could only look helplessly while his figure rapidly dwindled from sight.

_'Hayate, what's wrong?'_, she thought to herself anxiously.

* * *

><p>Moving with the speed that was all his, Hayate entered the school building, dropped his bag off at his desk, and ran off to the boys toilet without missing a beat.<p>

Hayate splashed his face with cold water and stared into the mirror at himself. A bunch of boys started entering the restroom chatting, and with the exception of but one the rest backed out quick and all but ran elsewhere after they saw the bluehead at the sink. The boy who stayed moved to the back of the restroom where the windows were. Oblivious, Hayate continued his musings. "Is that all our friendship is to her? A means to the end of getting my blood?", he finally asked out loud unintentionally.

"Well, duh! That's what vampires do." The other boy's voice broke into his contemplative reverie.

The startled blunette whipped his head around upon hearing the unfamiliar person. Standing a bit shorter than Hayate himself, this guy also had blue hair, and amethyst eyes which were even now looking him up and down appraisingly. Liking what they saw, the eyes went back to his face.

"Y'know, for a supposedly superior monster, you sure are clueless about other monsters, aren't you? But I suppose that's another one of your charm points with the ladies, isn't it?", the other boy winked.

The taller boy was a bit confused. "Um... do I know you...?"

"If you would like to, that can be arranged. But not now. It's almost time for first bell. Meet me in the gym storage room after classes are over. And try to shake off that clingy friend of yours, okay?" Moving to walk out of the restroom, the other boy stopped next to Hayate. "You really _are_ an interesting one. See ya~!", he lifted a hand in farewell as he walked out.

Befuddled, Hayate waited until he heard the bell ring and then headed much more slowly back to class.

* * *

><p>Before taking his seat, Hayate noticed the change in the classroom's atmosphere. People who had been chatting energetically ere he slid the classroom door open suddenly quieted down while avoiding his gaze. On the faces of the girls in the room, excepting the blue-headed girl and Moka, they all wore expressions of adoration when they thought he wasn't looking at them. The boys in the room were either in awe of him, or scared so shitless they looked about ready to run. The blue-haired girl seemed pleased with herself for some reason, and Moka's face betrayed equal parts hurt and worry. Final Bell rang and Nekonome-sensei ran breathlessly into the classroom, not even bothering to close the door she'd left open in her mad rush.<p>

Since Homeroom was also Japanese Literature, Nekonome-sensei, when she'd recovered enough breath to speak, rattled off passages from one modern poet. Hayate sighed quietly and opened his desk to take out his Lit book. He blinked. Twice. On top of the Lit book was a slip of paper with hiragana on it. Taking both the book and slip out, he closed his desk up and opened the book to the page the teacher was reading from. The slip of paper had two lines:

_We need to talk. Meet me outside by the drink machines, okay?_

_- Moka._

After the bell had rung and before he could get swamped like the other day, Hayate made good his escape from the class.

He found Moka sitting on one of the benches holding two drink cans. She held out a can of cold coffee to him, and when he took his with a quiet 'thank you' she proceeded to open her can of tomato juice and drink from it. After a minute of silence, she spoke up.

What's wrong, Hayate? Earlier you were jumping at shadows, and then gave me the cold shoulder when I asked about it.", Moka looked down at the can in her hands, rotating it slowly while speaking. "If I've done something to offend you, please tell me." She looked pensive as she waited for his response.

"I think I said it earlier to you, but I'll say it again, Moka-san. I have... trust issues. It's nothing _you_ did You just happened to be the first to harvest the bitter fruit of that particular crop." Hayate looked miserable. "And then there's what's happening today at school with all the rumors I've been hearing."

Moka looked surprised at this. "Rumors? What have the other students been saying?"

"Well, apparently I beat Saizou not only within an inch of his life, but I also broke most of the bones in his body doing so."

She gave a bark of laughter which rapidly evolved into a full out belly laugh. tears were squeezing out the corners of her eyes and Moka was holding her sides.

"Oh... please... Ah hahahaha!... so _this_ was the big secret? I thought it was something worse... like someone had found '_it'_ out." She wiped the tears from both eyes and smiled at him.

"C'_mon_!", Hayate howled. "What would the teachers or other faculty do if they thought I had actually done anything to Saizou? Wouldn't they... punish me or expel me for defending myself if it were true?"

"Nope!" Moka shook her head cheerfully.

_This_ caught him by surprise. "And why not? Isn't fighting against the school rules?"

'Not at all", she assured him. "Violence is much more accepted in Monster Society than it is in the Human World. The adults expect us to solve our own problems amongst ourselves without involving them. It's only when the problem persists and threatens to spill out into public that they ever jump in."

"What do I do about the rumors of me beating down Saizou then? I've never been comfortable with too much attention focused on me."

She smiled at Hayate. "Well, look at it this way: a lot of the weaker monsters will probably leave you alone with this, so you won't have to worry about them getting close enough to you to put two and two together. Plus, the stronger ones will always be left wondering, and give you a bit more respect in their dealings with you. It can be seen as a good thing if you let it." The first bell for next period rang out and they finished their cans of drink.

"So, does that help at all, Hayate?", Moka inquired pleasantly.

"It does. I'm just a bit shocked at the blase attitude towards violence here though", Hayate glumly said, pitching his can into the receptacle for it.

She laughed and patted his shoulder. "Get used to it". They both re-entered the school building.

From behind a nearby wall a blue-haired head peeked out.

_'So, he has a secret the vampire bitch knows about and she's getting his blood in return for keeping it? I can work with this'_, the girl thought to herself with slitted eyes. She faded out of view.

_'Don't you worry, Hayate-kun. Kurumu-neechan is here to help!'_

* * *

><p>Later in the day, after the cleanup had finished, Hayate was left in the classroom with Moka. He took the broom and dustpan to the closet at the back of the room and stowed them away. He turned to the pinkette and smacked his right fist into his left hand as if just remembering something that'd slipped his mind.<p>

"Moka-san, I just recalled Nekonome-sensei needing help with some boxes in the faculty storeroom. It shouldn't take too long, so if you want to go ahead, I'll meet up with you for dinner at 5 O'clock, okay?" The back of his head was getting wet with perspiration.

She looked surprised by the announcement, and gave him a searching stare. But, deciding to trust him she gave her OK. "Alright, but I'll just stay here and wait. There's something I wanted to discuss earlier but didn't get a chance to."

Figuring if he tried to keep her from sticking around it might get her even more suspicious, Hayate relented. "I'll be back as soon as I can, then." He left the class at a trot.

Moka settled herself at her desk and took out one of her homework assignments. _'No sense being idle while waiting.'_, she thought to herself.

* * *

><p>Looking up from her work, Moka was startled to see that fifteen minutes had gone by without the bluehead boy's return.<p>

'_He said he'd be back, but it's almost a quarter to.'_, she thought as she worried at her pen with her teeth. The classroom door at the front of the room slid opened. Happy to see he kept his promise, Moka leaped up from her desk and made ready to half-seriously scold him... and stopped when Nekonome-sensei stepped into the room. Her tail flicked to the side in surprise.

"Oh my. Akashiya-san, you're still here? Did you fall asleep at your desk?", the cat demon asked. She nodded understandingly. "I know how it is. The afternoon sun shinning through onto your desk, making you all toasty-sleepy..."

"Sensei, is Ayasaki-kun almost finished with helping you out? We kind of had a dinner planned out and...", Moka fidgeted with embarrassment.

Confused, Nekonome-sensei tilted her head to the side. "Ayasaki-kun? Help me? No, I didn't need anyone's help today after school. Although now that you mention it, I may as well start getting what I need before the other teachers swipe them first..." She turned her head back towards the pinkette only to find she was in a now empty classroom. Shrugging to herself, the neko-musume left the room, slid closed the door behind her and locked it.

* * *

><p>'<em>I'm <em>not _angry'_, Moka reasoned to herself. _'Upset, yes, but not angry. Anger isn't an emotion a proper lady should show.'_ Maybe Hayate had a good reason for why he felt the need to lie to her... _again_.

Her mood turned darker as she went down the halls of Youkai Academy. The few people left in the building with business got one look at the pink-haired Fury coming their way and fled elsewhere. Close to the cafeteria, she found and cornered a couple of boys shooting the bull.

In a normal tone of voice she greeted them. "Hey, you guys wouldn't have seen a boy with blue hair pass by here recently, have you?"

Now, normally boys like thee two would be awestruck and nervous to be suddenly speaking to the Academy's #1 Beauty (Unanimously Male Approved!). However with the dark cloud shot through with jags of lightning over her head and the throbbing vein in the forehead of an otherwise smiling face, Moka looked anything _but_ angelic.

Seeing as how his friend was in deeper brick-shitting terror than he was, and not wanting to set off the already short fuse of the school idol and become the new target of her ire, the taller of the two boys spoke up.

"W-well there was t-two who p-passed by here n-not long ago. B-but not t-together." He pointed to the side with his shaking right finger. "B-both headed in the direction o-of the G-gym. N-not s-sue if b-both are there, b-but that's all I know, hon-honest!" The poor guy looked ready to start crying. His friend seemed to be whispering something to himself over and over.

Smiling brightly at the both of them, Moka said, "Thanks!", and ran down the hall in the indicated direction.

Both boys sagged to the ground in relief. Soon a ripe odor wafted through the air. The two stared at each other, opened their mouths to say something, then thought better of it. Both faces darkened in mortification.

_Yes_, both thought simultaneously, _a bath before dinner would do nicely_.

* * *

><p>The Gym was quiet. Since none of the sports clubs were meeting today, the equipment was all stored away. With her enhanced hearing, Moka picked up conversation coming from the pair of wooden doors to the back of the larger gym area. Both male voices. She tried to keep the noise of her passage over the wood parquet floor to a minimum so as to escape detection. One voice was Hayate's. The other belonged to a person she wasn't familiar with. Due to the acoustics in the gym and the doors blocking out much of the voices she couldn't make out what they were saying.<p>

She'd managed to get a few feet from the doors when one of the voices... Hayate's... raised in alarm and the sound of something falling onto something else with a flat *Whump!* came to Moka's ears. Thinking of the worst scenarios, she pulled at one of the wooden double doors and yanked it open wide. Dust was thick in the air, and she could barely make out two figures, one on top of the other, on a stack of padded floor mats. Hayate was on his back, his face buried in the set of G-Cup breasts of the blue-haired girl lying flat against his body who she recognized as the girl who sat at the back of the same class as the two of them.

For a moment the scene froze, the only sound Hayate's muffled cries for help. The blunette girl made the first move by pushing her chest up from the suffocating boy's head. Hayate opened his eyes and saw what was above him and turned his head to the side, seeking solace. Then he saw Moka standing very still at the entrance to the storage room. Fighting terror at the dark aura coming off the trembling and quiet pinkette, Hayate sought the best words to say in this situation:

"T-this isn't what it looks like, Moka-san."

Those weren't it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>About twenty or so minutes ago... <strong>_

Deep down he knew he was going to catch hell for this if she found out, but Hayate wanted to know what the deal with that guy from earlier in the morning was all about. He seemed to know more than he was letting on about Hayate and Moka.

No thanks to the rumors going around campus, there was no way in Hell that Hayate was going to be able to make this a stealth mission. All he could do was make it seem that he was going whee he needed to and pray no one remembered later. There weren't as many students or faculty in the main building at this hour, so with any luck it'll raise less red flags later on.

It was really quiet in the physical education section of the school. _'Thank _God_'_, Hayate thought fervently. He'd been getting enough stares throughout the day already. _'Are guys with blue hair _really_ that rare?' _Hayate found the gym in short order. But for the sound of crows making noise outside the place was eerily quiet. The late afternoon sun made orange shafts of light through the high windows surrounding the upper level catwalk above the gym floor. The lights in here were off, but finding the storage room wasn't that difficult. One of the doors were slightly ajar. Not really worrying about making noise, Hayate swiftly made his way across the wooden floor.

Opening the door with a quick "Excuse the intrusion", Hayate set foot into the surprisingly large and well-stocked storage area. Two long windows in the upper section of the back wall let in sunlight here as well. In front of him, sitting on a bed of gym floor mats, was that boy from earlier. A grin lit up his face.

"Ah! You made it on time, and managed to ditch the leech as well. Excellent!", he clapped lightly. He got up off the mats and dusted the back of his pants off. "I suppose introductions are in order now, right? I am Kurono Kurumu." He gave a bow to the other blunette.

Nonplussed, Hayate raised his hand. "... Question, Kurumu-san."

Nodding at the confused-looking boy, he said, "Okay... shoot."

"... I might be wrong, but aren't you... a _girl_?"

Kurumu waggled his forefinger back and forth. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... You shouldn't be fooled by simple appearances, Hayate-kun", he chided gently, his amethyst eyes twinkling. "Anyway, that's not why I invited you back here." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"How would you feel about an alliance, Hayate-kun? You seem constantly lost, plus you have a particularly odious hanger-on to worry about. I could help you with those problems, and of course since I'm not merely doing this without some kind of compensation in mind, you could probably help me with a couple of problems of my own in the bargain." He fixed his lavender eyes on Hayate's earnestly. "What do you think?"

"What do you mean by 'lost', Kurumu-san?" Hayate had his arms crossed, brow furrowing.

"For one thing, when I look at you, I see a hopelessly naive little boy who's wandered into the big kid's play area at school and he's one step from being kicked at by some of the meaner kids. Another thing is that you have so much potential which you're not even bothering to tap into. You have the complete and undivided attention of the girls in the class... and I'm sure as time goes by other girls will join the flock... and not one of them have been Charmed yet!" Kurumu shrugs and shakes his head in mild astonishment. "I can only imagine what kind of home life you had before coming here, but to have your mother or father not tell you how to Charm the girls into becoming members of your harem? That's pretty lax."

Hayate could only scratch his head in confusion and laugh weakly. "Yeah... Mom and Dad always had more of a 'hands off' approach to parenting, I guess you could say. Me and my big brother had to do things by ourselves, or learn how to."

The other boy whistled softly in appreciation. "Well, I can see you definitely have a good handle on the illusions. That disappearing act you pulled in the middle of the girls the first day was pretty impressive." Smiling widely, Kurumu approached Hayate and began to circle him. "Your human disguise is really impressive too. You even managed to _smell_ just like a **human**!" Standing in front of Hayate, blocking the door to the room, he started taking deep appreciative inhalations.

For his part, Hayate was severely confused and alarmed. _'Charm... Illusion... Harem? What the hell!'_

Kurumu continued speaking while slowly approaching him. "That's why I suggested this alliance. You can learn from me how to use charm, maybe get some more self-confidence... the girls _love_ confident guys, ya know... and in return you help me with _my_ problem. Oh, and just so you know, _I_ prefer boys to girls, so the girls would be _a-l-l _y-o-u-r-s, big guy." His finger had touched Hayate's uniform jacket and was describing a lazy circle, counterclockwise.

* * *

><p>By now, Hayate's brain was hitting DefCon One. In the Operations section of his frontal lobes there was General Chaos, being closely followed by his aide-de-camp, Major Anxiety. Since this was inside Hayate's head, it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that the mental avatars of his psyche would look almost exactly like him. The differences between the two were that the general had a corncob pipe clenched in his teeth and a fierce scowl permanently etched on his face, and the major looked about ready to drop dead of fright.<p>

"Sir! The situation has just gone critical! Remote telemetry just picked up active gaydar in the vicinity." Anxiety wrung his hands fretfully.

"Damn! So there's a Poofter close by. Have their signals jammed with whatever chaff and EMP equipment we've got. I want that son of a bitch dead in the water and unable to contact their Headquarters. Do it!"

"Sir, yes Sir!" Saluting, Anxiety made all haste to the Tactical station between the Voluntary and Involuntary sections of the Bridge.

Strolling to the watch station at the back center of the Bridge, General Chaos laid his callused hands on the railing in front of him. Thinking back to a time when a similar event last occurred, Chaos grimly remembered what had happened in that one public bath house back in Tokyo four years ago. _ 'Never again'_, he thought to himself solemnly, _'not on __**my**__ watch!'_

* * *

><p>Back in reality, Hayate's legs hit the edge of the stack of mats. Eyes whirling madly, he desperately tried to reorganize his scattered wits.<p>

"N-Not that I'm not flattered, Kurumu-san... but I prefer girls. I am not gay!", he all but shrieked.

Lavender eyes blinking twice in disbelief, Kurumu began to laugh. "Well, I should certainly hope so! Otherwise this plan will never work. Neither one of us will get our harems going, and then it's a slow agonizing death for the race of Succubi."

"Huh? Succubi? What are you talking about, Kurumu-san?" Hayate was even more confused now than he'd been when he'd arrived.

"Succubi, silly! The race we both belong to." The look the other boy gave him was one of amusement. When Hayate still looked as clueless as ever, his face registered shock. "Don't tell me you don't know anything about this. What... were you adopted into your family, knowing nothing of your origins?"

_'There were times when I thought that I must've been, yeah'_, Hayate thought to himself in a deadpan tone. "Well...", he tried to find something plausible to say without giving away too much.

"Wouldn't your first clue have been when your wings showed up?"

"I... don't have wings..." It seemed like Major Confusion had joined the command staff on the Bridge in Hayate's brain, mixing up the orders and commands again.

A shocked gasp from the other boy. "You're a late-bloomer? But... I've never heard of an incubus getting their wings _after_ puberty though." Kurumu worried his thumbnail furiously. "It's too bad I can't call home and ask my Mom for some advice right now. She's away for a few weeks following some rock group's tour."

"Your mother? Is she part of the rock group's members?"

The other boy shook his head at Hayate's question. "Nope. Mom's not a group member... she's one of the group's _groupies_. I think the group she's with right now is the Eagles, so she'll probably wind up spending more on Viagra and Icy Hot for the guys than she gets as gifts from the band members."

Hayate bigsweated. "Huh... sounds rough."

"Nah, not really. Mom's into that kind of old-timey nostalgia, so even if she loses money she'll still enjoy herself somehow. It's more of a vacation for her than work. But, anyway..." taking another step towards Hayate so the two boys were about a couple of feet apart, Kurumu looked him up and down, from head to toe. "You're certainly strong. I've never seen anyone with an aura quite as robust as yours. It's hard to believe you haven't blossomed yet... or whatever it's called for incubi. I wonder if your wings and tail need some kind of trigger for them to manifest? Let's try an experiment..." He placed both of his hands on Hayate's shoulder and chest individually.

Simultaneous commands to _'judo throw the overfamiliar bastard'_ and _'run for your poopchute!'_ got scrambled. As a result, both of the two boys' arms and legs got tangled and Hayate got overbalanced, sending the two crashing onto the floor mats. Hayate's inarticulate cry of alarm was cut short when he was suddenly smothered by something on his face which was warm and extremely soft to the touch. He flailed about trying to get some air.

Then without warning, the sound of the door slamming open reached Hayate's ears. The person above him chose that particular moment to pull themselves up off of his face and he got his first up close view of what had been suffocating him: Hooters. Yum-yums. Dual Funbags. Dirty Pillows. Really _big_ ones.

_Even _Everest_ doesn't have cleavage like that!_, a voice inside his head whistled approvingly.

This sent Hayate's cheeks from their oxygen-deprived pallor skyrocketing into fire engine red color, and he turned his head to the side to avert his gaze from the spectacle. His eyes then met Moka's dark deep woods green ones. Her own face darkened considerably, and Hayate was sure he could just about hear the cries of the Damned that went with the flaming aura which shrouded the silent pink-haired vampire.

'_Oh shit... here it comes!'_, he cringed internally. Knowing he had to explain things fast before the Wrath of Moka could descend on his worthy head, Hayate said the absolute _worst_ thing a guy could to the girl he'd all but (unknowingly) committed himself to going steady with:

"T-this isn't what it looks like, Moka-san."

* * *

><p>Her face unreadable, Moka raised a thin pink eyebrow. "Oh? And what exactly is it <em>supposed<em> to look like, _Ayasaki-kun?_" The use of his family name was not lost on him, neither were the implications.

"It's _exactly_ what it looks like Akashiya Moka." The only other girl in the room, Kurono Kurumu, weighed in with her own statement. Smirking viciously at the pinkette, she continued. "Hayate-kun decided to trade up. One washed-up blood-guzzling model for a more curvy better performing one. Pretty smart of him, I'd say."

Trembling ever so slightly, her eyes hidden in shadow, Moka addressed the hapless boy. "Is that true, Hayate-kun?"

Thinking fast, he blurted out, "No! We were just here discussing different topics..."

Kurumu chimed in, interrupting Hayate's explanation. "And despite your obvious inexperience with girls, those _discussions_ were quite enjoyable, Hayate-kun", she all but purred, one of her hands massaging his chest. "You've gotta work on your approach though. Not many girls like a guy with fast hands... eh, Akashiya-san?' The busty blunette winked meaningfully at the scandalized vampiress.

Her face set in a determined fashion, Moka took slow steps toward the two, who were at that point getting themselves untangled from the bed of mats. All Hayate could do was watch his death approach in size 9 shoes. "... M-Moka-san..."

Moka's pink lipsticked mouth opened.

"Hayate... you..."

"Eh?"

"... you... **you **_**liar!**_" Throwing all her strength into the follow-through, Moka punched Hayate full in the face, knocking the completely poleaxed teenage boy back into the wall, shattering the windows. Her face running a gamut of emotions, the shell of determination broke and Moka whirled around and ran off crying.

From the broken section of wall Hayate could do nothing but watch as the weeping girl ran. He had to admit to himself; he'd messed up, big time. And considering the size of the school campus, there was really no way of knowing where she'd run to in that state. He only hoped she didn't do anything stupid.

Kurumu watched the whole scene with a frisson of pure pleasure. This couldn't have worked out better if she'd planned it! _'And to think'_, she thought with a sense of deep accomplishment, _'it's all because of a series of misunderstandings'_. The amethyst-eyed succubus turned to see how Hayate was handling things and puckered her lips in self-recrimination. She'd missed the fact he was injured because she was too busy celebrating her victory over the pink-haired skank.

Moving to check his wounds, she called out to him. "Hayate-kun, are you alright?" _'Stupid... of _course_ he's not alright! Even _I _wouldn't be alright after a punch like that one.'_, she berated herself.

"Ha hahaha... Moka-san sure put some elbow grease into that one, didn't she?", the blue-haired boy said. Kurumu noticed his voice was a bit slurred. She moved close enough in the dim light to see his face and put her hand to her mouth to stifle a shocked gasp. Blood was flowing like a busted spigot from his ruined nose, and also from the back of his head where it was impacted into the wall. His arms and legs were akimbo. Hayate was trying to reach for his left chest pocket when Kurumu stopped his arm by grabbing it, not roughly.

"Don't move, you idiot! You might have worse injuries elsewhere."

"... Tha's right... 'm 'n idiot. A... _biiiiiiig_.. idiot!" Giggling lightly, Hayate pushed his body upright using the wall struts that were left sticking out from Moka's act of violence.

"Hey! Wai- Oh who the hell am I kidding? C'mon... let's get you to the infirmary. Someone should still be there." The blunette bombshell tried to remember what the Health teacher had said about injuries. _'Let's see... One: if there's a chance of spinal injury, do __**not**__ move the patient. Well, that's out. Hmm... Two: if the patient is bleeding, try to make a tourniquet to stop the flow of blood. A tourniquet around his neck would stop the blood alright... and his _air_. Geez... Three: Call for help. No one's around here, so how the _fuck_ am I expected to get him help unless I bring him there to get it!' _Shaking her head at the stupidity of the Youkai educational model, Kurumu had managed to get one of Hayate's arms around her shoulder to give him some support. They left the gym area, making slow but steady progress.

* * *

><p>In her dorm room, Moka was huddled up on her bed, an Alucard plushie (as in the Alucard from <em>Castlevania: Symphony of the Night<em>) in her arms.

_'He said he needed me, wanted me to be with him. Were those words just another lie?'_ She rocked back and forth slowly.

_**'You're being a lovestruck fool! That girl is dangerous'**_, a much deeper, richer voice called out from the depths of her mind.

'_Huh? I don't get it. How?'_, the pinkette wondered to herself.

'_**You yourself heard those boys. Only two boys went to the gym area, both with blue hair. Meaning one of those boys was a fake, likely made through illusion. And unfortunately there are a good number of creatures who use illusions.'**_

_'What am I supposed to do then?'_, pink-haired Moka groaned.

_**'For now? Keep a close eye on them both, from a distance. And be ready to pounce when she slips up'**_, the deeper voice advised. _** 'It'll only be a matter of time before that happens.'**_

'_But... but what if they start doing... k-kissing or... _this _and _that _while I'm watching?'_, Moka whined internally, absentmindedly chewing on her plushie.

From her unseen adviser no comment was made. Sleep, if any, would be fitful and unrestful.

* * *

><p>The previous night for the occupant of Male Single Dorm Room 2H wasn't much better than for our pink-headed heroine. Yet here we find him with no bags under his eyes or worry lines around his face. And the only reason for this unlikely phenomenon? That would be because Ayasaki Hayate is an <em>airhead<em>.

Certainly he does have moments where he worries about this and that, or whether this or that will happen to _him_, but with his usual chipper attitude he can move on through the day with a bright smile on his face and a spring to his step...

... That is, until he sets foot outside the sanctuary of his room and starts hearing the whispers and veiled comments from his dorm mates _yet again_.

_'Maybe I should've taken up being a Buddhist Monk? I hear the work is tough, as are the hours. Still it wouldn't be any tougher than anything I've been through so far at home.'_, Hayate wondered idly as he stepped outside into the grey morning light. It looked like it might rain that day. Well, at least one bright spot to the whole morning showed up. He saw the girl Kurumu waving her hand outside the fence for the Boys Dorm as he made his exit.

"Yahoo~! G'morning, Hayate-kun!", she exclaimed happily. From behind and off to the side several of her suitors were standing, glaring at Hayate hatefully. But as with any of the other passing males, when they thought he was looking at them they would avoid his gaze.

Hayate sighed, letting out a puff of air and smiled at the excitable succubus. "Good Morning, Kurumu-san."

"I wanted to continue that discussion from yesterday, Hayate-kun. We kinda got interrupted and then you had to see the nurse and were in no shape after to talk", Kurumu said after they'd set off for the main building, suitors in tow.

"Well, I've been trying to say that I don't know about that whole incubus thing, or whatever you were talking about", he said, laughing uncertainly with a hand on the back of his neck.

"That's why I said I'd help you the best I could, silly! Even if you're a foundling, or a late-bloomer, we'll figure out something if we stick together", she nodded resolutely.

He tilted his head back a bit in thought. _'Maybe that's why Big Brother and me don't really look anything like Mom or Dad? Could be... but then who would my _real_ mother or father be?'_ Wrinkling his brow, Hayate shrugged. "I _guess_ we could do that. Another friend wouldn't hurt, right?", he turned his head giving Kurumu a smile.

"Yahoo~hoo! Okay! Just leave it to Big Sis, Hayate-kun." So declaring, Kurumu tackled Hayate from the side, mashing his right arm in between her breasts. Cue the hot salty tears of helpless rage and gnashing of teeth from behind.

'_'Big Sister'? She _can't_ be much older or younger than me'_, Hayate thought to himself, then decided to shelve that for later. He failed to notice the pink-haired stalker following him and his entourage from behind.

* * *

><p>Hayate let his bright-eyed escort know that there were enough rumors going around about him, and another right now might not be good so as to lay off the clinging. She cheerfully denied his request and just snuggled closer to him, earning him more than a few new stares, this time from the <em>girls<em>. For her part, Kurumu just ignored the Death Star glares she was getting from some of the females in passing. They eventually did separate from each other, but not until after they'd reached Room 1-3. Hayate mood didn't improve much when he sat down and noticed Moka hadn't arrived yet. She came walking in a couple of minutes later, but didn't talk to Hayate in passing. She silently took her seat and didn't even turn her head to look at him.

_'Oh yeah'_, Hayate glumly noted, _'she's still pissed.'_

Class started normally enough. Nekonome-sensei took roll call, and then delineated the day's events. At least that _was_ the case... up until the teacher dropped a bomb, figuratively, on the class:

"Everyone! This afternoon, the various school clubs will be giving tryouts for prospective new members. This will be a good chance for you all to gain experience in a social setting like you would find in other schools that are run by humans. You'll also be given the opportunity to further hone your human disguises, so watch yourselves out there~nya!"

One male student raised his hand and said, "Sensei... your tail is showing...", pointing to where the excited teacher's tail had been lazily flicking back and forth from under her skirt.

Her earlike tufts of hair flattening against her head, Neokonome-sensei promptly went over to the student and swatted at his face with her claws. Blood dripping from crisscrossed scratches, the boy collapsed back into his desk seat, eyes closed in pain.

Recovering her composure, the teacher continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. "So, go out there and give it everything you've got! And be sure to visit the Newspaper Club's stand while you do~nya!"

_'Clubs?'_, Hayate mused. _'That might be fun.'_ Turning to the desk next to his he said, "Hey Mok-", before stopping abruptly. Moka was just leaving through the rear classroom door with a determined look on her face. He then looked around at some of the other desks near his. Kurumu's seat was also empty. Getting up, Hayate made his way out of the class, intent on confronting the elusive vampiress.

* * *

><p>The busty succubus in question had just bought a can of melon soda and was happily gulping it down. She took a position against one of the walkway support poles with her left leg up, braced against it. That's how Moka found her after walking and putting together her thoughts."Kurono-san, might I have a word with you for a moment?", she asked the other girl politely enough. The smile on her face didn't quite reach her eyes.<p>

With a magnanimous smile of her own, Kurumu answered in the same fashion, "Why certainly, Akashiya-san. Right this way!" She motioned to an alleyway which ran behind the school building.

Neither was fooling the other. They both wanted somewhere to talk where witnesses would be less likely to see or hear anything happening. When they'd both made their way to the shadowed area, Moka started off the festivities.

"Exactly what are your intentions with Hayate, Kurono-san?"

"Ha! You sure are dull, aren't you? I'd say my intentions with Hayate-kun are pretty much clear", the busty blunette smirked at Moka.

Crossing her arms and raising one of her eyebrows, she retorted, "Humor me."

Holding out one of her hands, Kurumu started counting off on her fingers. "One: he's pretty cute. Two: he looks a bit unreliable, but with some more polish he would stand out a lot more in a crowd. Three: to the girls in the school, he's probably the hottest thing since Hell opened up for business based on his reputation _alone_. That by itself makes him a pretty fine catch as far as boyfriend material goes around here. Plus, the poor guy looks like he really needs the help fitting in. And _I'm_ the girl who can do that for him. Now was that all, or do you wanna cry me another river like last time?" She folded her own arms up under her breasts, straining the yellow sweater she wore as she stared down the teenage vampire in challenge.

Fuming already, but trying valiantly to hold onto her cool, Moka archly inquired, "And what kind of 'reputation' is Hayate supposed to have here? Except for the rumors about Saizou-kun or his injuries, I haven't heard anything else."

Facepalming with a laugh, Kurumu said, "You're right in the middle of the rumors too, you big boob! From some of the other girls in my dorm I heard that Hayate-kun was the one who stopped Saizou from trying to rape you. The girls around here eat up that kind of romantic stuff. Hell, if it were even true, _I'd_ probably be fantasizing along with the rest of them!" She licked her lips unselfconsciously. "Now, if what I've seen for myself of his power is for real, all he needs is a bit more confidence and he'll _shine_."

Horrified, the pinkette shouted, "So you _are_ after his energy! I thought so! What kind of monster are you!"

"Not that it has anything to do with you, but who said I wanted his energy per se? I wanna rule this school with him at my side!" Glaring at Moka with undisguised hatred, Kurumu continued. "The Youkai Academy Harem Transformation Plan was foolproof. I was all set to make every single one of the guys my love slaves... that is, until _you_ came along. But, what about you, Akashiya Moka? You have designs on his blood over even that thin disguise of a 'friendship' the two of you share." Putting her hand open next to her left ear, she asked, "What's that sound? Oh wait... _it's the sound of a pot calling the kettle black!_"

"Th-that's not true! I'm not just friends with Hayate for his blood! There's more to it than that...", Moka waffled a bit trying to find the right words.

"Then what more is there for us, Moka-san? I'd really like to know", a voice called out gently, interrupting the pink-haired vampire's counter-statement.

Both girls turned at this new development to see Hayate standing just inside the alleyway. Kurumu cheered up immediately. "Yahoo! We were just talking about you, Hayate-kun." She pranced over to the young human's side and gave him a quizzical look. "But when did you get here?"

Embarrassed, Hayate scratched the back of his head. "Some point around 'Youkai Academy Harem Transformation Plan' or so. Did you mean what you said about turning the rest of the guys into your slaves, Kurumu-san?"

Folding her arms, the shorter girl answered, "Yes, I was. Why?"

Hayate was perplexed and it showed on his face. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Because most guys... boys and men... were meant to be nothing more than givers of things, or sources of energy after their usefulness was over with, Hayate-kun. I'd be more upset with you, but I know this is likely something you were never taught growing up. It'd be the same thing for you when it comes to the girls. You remember how I mentioned the survival of the succubi being tied to our harems?" At Hayate's slow nod, Kurumu continued. "Out of all the slaves any of us gather, we succubi will find and choose our one Mate of Fate... our Destined One. It is that one male who will father our children. No other man could or would be able to impregnate us. That's why our species is in severe decline."

Hayate was taken aback. The survival of an entire race of monsters, all tied to something so... wasteful. The time spent trying to get more members of the harem could be better spent getting to know the people you have with you already. He turned to the quietly watching and waiting vampire. "I never got an answer from you, Moka-san. What exactly is our relationship? That of friends, or that of lunch and recipient?"

From somewhere in the darkness of Moka's subconscious came that same deep, powerful voice. _** 'So that's her game! Hayate is in grave danger. You need to get her away from him **_**now**_**, or else she may use her Allure ability against him... or worse yet, make him her lifelong slave with a kiss!'**_

Meanwhile, the cyan-haired succubus was glomming onto the taller boy with both arms, smushing both her size G gunboats into Hayate's lower chest. "You don't have to worry about her anymore, Hayate-kun. Her kind's only good with the old bait and switch. They bait you with a kiss, then go right for the neck. We can skip all that and get straight to the good stuff. " Her very pliable lips closed in on his as she stood slightly on tiptoes and gently brought his torso down with her arms in order to reach his face. "Consider it practice for when you start building your own harem..." An inch or three of empty space was all there was between the two's faces. For his part Hayate wasn't able to _think_, much less move.

"_Get your hands off of Hayate!_", Moka screamed and got between the two, straight-arming the busty bluehead into the school's outer wall.

"ohhh... now you've done it, Akashiya Moka. **Now you've done it!**" Kurumu, her face hidden from view by her bangs of hair picked herself up from the ground and staggered upright. The cloth on the back of her sweater stretched and tore revealing damp folded skin which unfolded out into large demonic wings. A spaded tail grew out from under her skirt and long long talons unsheathed themselves from under her fingernails. Her ears turned pointed as the fully transformed succubus glared right at Moka, a hellbent light coming from deep within her purple eyes. "**It's on, bitch!**" Kurumu screamed.

Being unable to speak at this point due to surprise and fear, Hayate scooped up Moka abruptly, causing her to let out an inarticulate cry of shock. He turned and fled the way he came at top speed. Back the way they had just been a scream of pure disbelief and rage broke up. The racing boy launched himself up to the top of the school's outer wall and then leaped off into the forest of dead trees. Putting as much effort into gaining some measurable distance from the extremely pissed off youkai, Hayate created a sonic barrier, scattering dust and loose debris in his wake.

* * *

><p>"Maybe *pant pant* pushing her into a wall *pant* wasn't the smartest thing to do *pant pant* Moka-san", he admonished the vampire in his arms breathlessly. Since there'd been no sign of pursuit for the moment, Hayate took shelter behind some trees and let Moka down.<p>

She had the presence of mind to look sheepish. "Well, if I hadn't that girl might have turned you into one of her slaves with a kiss. I had to do something!" Moka looked closer at his face. "You didn't look like you'd been charmed though, the other day or today."

"That's because she _hasn't_ used any of her powers on me. She thinks I'm an incubus for some reason." Hayate looked a bit miffed for a second. "I could've told you that last time, but you kind of overreacted a bit and then ran off!" He let out a tired sigh.

The pink-headed girl was opening her mouth to reply when a voice dripping with venom called out from somewhere over the treetops.

"I _do_ hate to interrupt this discussion, but was there any particular reason why you ran away with the blood-sucking skank, Hayate? I wasn't going to hurt _you_."

A cracking noise was the only warning the two had before the trees behind them slid off of fresh cuts made through their trunks diagonally. And floating down, wings beating up a storm, the thoroughly pissed off succubus took a standing perch on top of one such cut tree.

"H-how did you find us so fast...?", he blurted out.

Rolling her eyes at him, Kurumu gave out a bark of laughter. "With the minor trail of devastation you left in your wake? A blind _Daidarabotchi_ could've found you. Now, again... why?" Her face softened a bit.

"I think", Hayate began, "that there have been some misunderstandings here today, Kurumu-san."

Raising a pale blue eyebrow, the succubus replied, "How so?"

The young man swallowed nervously. This would be tricky. He had enough trouble trying to figure out human girls, and now here he was attempting to mediate between a couple of _youkai _girls. One wrong move and he'd be breathing through a new set of holes. The sharpness of those talons weren't in doubt, as several dead... dead_er_... trees could attest to.

"First... could you come down? It's kind of hard on the neck to keep looking up."

"Nope. Nonnegotiable, Hayate-kun. You still haven't explained anything to me about..."

Hayate's face flushed a bit as he looked up at the winged girl from where she stood above them both. "... plus... your panties are..." He coughed into his hand and averted his gaze a bit.

Kurumu's hands flew to her skirt and her legs closed reflexively. "No!... okay fine. As long as you promise not to run anymore, I'll come down. Deal?"

He let out a huge inward sigh of relief. Concessions made and accepted. Agreeing, the blue-haired boy made room on the ground for the succubus to land. Hayate tried for a concession to return to full human disguise, but no dice. The talons would stay.

"Ha-ya-te-kun... you got some explaining to do. Get to it", Kurumu intoned musically, tapping her foot angrily.

The bewildered boy scratched his cheek and sighed. "It seems like Moka-san misunderstood something when you were about to k-kiss me. She assumed you were trying to turn me into one of your slaves."

Lavender eyes blinked in disbelief and the busty night demon nearly doubled over laughing. Wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, Kurumu said, "Was your brain out to lunch when your family explained the basics of other monster races when you were younger, huh? Incubi aren't affected by a succubus's Allure or kiss, stu-pid!"

'_**I don't care how you do it, but get Hayate to pull the Rosario off **_**now**_**! I have a couple choice words for that strumpet, and they aren't 'I'm sorry'!'**_, The Rosario on Moka's chest jingled as the sealed Other growled and gnashed her teeth.

"Hayate? Could I have a word with you for just one second?", Moka asked him nervously. When Hayate nodded to her, she smiled and moved over to where he was standing. He apologized to Kurumu, but she just made motions with her hands as if to say _'just get on with it'_.

Hayate leaned over so the shorter pink-haired girl could whisper into his ear if she wanted to. Moka spoke in a tone of voice she was sure only he would hear. "Hayate, pull my Rosario off, please."

"What! Why?", he whispered back.

"Just do it! Please? My other self wants to... talk to Kurono-san." Her eyes and face slid away from his.

"Do I have her and your word that that's _all _she's going to do?" Hayate's right hand pulled her face back so he could stare into her eyes.

"I can't... promise that, Hayate. I'm sorry." Her voice starting to waver and crack under the strain, Moka stared down at the dry grass underfoot.

He stepped away from her and sadly said, "Then I can't comply with that, Moka-san I'm sorry." He turned his head to the impatiently waiting succubus. "You might want to keep the insults to a minimum, Kurumu-san. There's more going on here than a simple misunderstanding, and dumping gasoline onto the problem and lighting a match won't help solve it."

Letting out a breath in frustration but unable to argue with the blue-headed boy's surprisingly sound logic, Kurumu caved in. "Fine. Akashiya-san... I may have... been a _bit _hasty in my choice of words. Sorry about that."

Smiling at the pouting succubus in gratitude, Hayate addressed Moka. "Do you have anything you'd like to add, Moka-san?" He smiled at her encouragingly.

_**'It seems like the succubus won't be the only one I'll have to have a long talk with the next time I re-emerge. I will **_**not **_**be balked, Hayate'**_, the pinkette vampire's inner voice remarked internally before going silent.

"And I'm sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion earlier today and shoving you into that wall", Moka offered quietly.

Stomping forward, Kurumu angrily dug a normal looking finger into Moka's ample chest. "What about the other day when you punched Hayate-kun, knocking him back into the wall in the gym? Are you sorry about that... huh?" Hayate was hard-pressed to keep the two at a reasonably safe distance from the other.

A tear slid down Moka's cheek as her voice finally broke down. "I'm sorry, Hayate! I don't really know what came over me. It just felt like everything broke down around me and... I lashed out without thinking." The tears made a mes of her face, until Hayate gave her his handkerchief to use.

Hayate licked his lips thoughtfully. "It's alright, Moka-san. I maybe could have been a bit more forthcoming that day I went off to talk to Kurumu-san. I will say in my defense that I wasn't aware of the actual gender of the person I was supposed to be talking to. 'He' sure _seemed_ male enough at the time, ha ha", he laughed nervously.

"Well, Hayate might forgive you, but I haven't. If he _were _a **human** he could have died!", the not-quite mollified succubus shouted. "I'll forget what you did to him, but the next time something like that happens...", she trailed off menacingly.

Although Moka shrank a bit hearing how badly injured Hayate had been after her blowup with him, she gave Kurumu a glare of her own. "And should you ever hurt him yourself..."

The boy being used as ultimatum material bigsweated and held up both hands in placation. "Now, now... we're beyond threats, aren't we? I realize the two of you might not see eye to eye, and being friends might be asking a bit too much of either of you at this point but maybe... a truce to start?"

Both girls considered the matter a couple of moments. Surprisingly, Kurumu was the first to hold out her hand, talons gone.

"Sure, why not?"

Moka grabbed hold of Kurumu's hand and gave a tentative shake. "Truce then." She gave a small smile at the other girl. Both girls were actually smiling at each other... only the smiles didn't include their eyes. Dark sinister auras formed about the two as they laughed or giggled softly, while electricity crackled the very air between them. Hayate sweated and laughed nervously, wondering if he'd survive until the end of the day.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's Note<span>:** This chapter took longer than the last one. First we had the big cleanup after Irene blew into town doing whatever she wanted. Interruptions for doctors and tests cut into valuable research and writing time.

You'll notice that I've slipped away from canon events a bit, anime and mangawise. That's also intentional as well as incidental. This is a crossover of two totally different stories. The misunderstandings between Hayate and the girls just keeps piling up, doesn't it? And just think: _it's only gonna get worse before it gets better_.

How will Hayate deal with the clubs next time? Can he keep the girls from killing each other or himself? Do swallows really fly all the way to Capistrano, or do they cheat and fly economy class? These answers and more can be found with the next chapter, Dear Readers! (Maybe not the swallow one though.)

This is the Priest, signing off.

-Prodigal Priest.


	4. The Knave of Clubs

**Disclaimer: I own nuthin', I make nuthin' off this. Go bother someone else, stupid copyrighters. *Grumble Grumble***

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4: The Knave of Clubs. <span>

On the way back to the school campus, Hayate tried to engage both girls in a polite conversation with each other, but neither was biting. And to make matters worse, each of them had laid claim to one of his arms, and were in the process of gaining territory across the No-Man's-Land that was his torso. He didn't know if the present detente was better than the previous all-out war between the two youkai girls had been, or if it was worse.

By the time the three had emerged from the woods and caught sight of the outer wall of the main building, tensions between the two camps (and the high tension and stress placed on Hayate's shoulder joints) were mounting at an accelerated pace. To any students watching the threesome pass by it was a picture to be envious of, if you were male, or jealous of if you were female. None of them seemed to notice the aura of despair on the poor boy or the tense atmosphere of electricity both girls were letting off, what with the smiles frozen on their faces.

Before the tension broke (or his joints popped out, whichever happened first), Hayate tried once more to separate the two before his arms separated company from his body.

"Kurumu-san... Moka-san... make a wish, would you?" He gritted his teeth while speaking, trying to keep a smile on his twitching face.

Both girls suddenly saw the strain he was under and they released their hold on him simultaneously. With muttered and embarrassed apologies they stuck close to Hayate.

Hayate thanked the two of them, then grabbed hold of his right arm and with a jerk and pop! set the arm socket back into place. Moka's face colored a bit and she averted her gaze from Hayate's face. Kurumu made a 'V' sign with her hand at the flustered pinkette behind his back. Of course, that just set the tension mounting between the girls again, albeit at a slower rate.

Stalls had been put up in the courtyard of the main building as well as in the first floor hallway leading in from the front doors. Garishly lettered signs inveigled the curious to partake in this or that particular extracurricular group's activities, while some other groups opted for the tried and true method of recruitment via cute and scantily-clad girls propositioning the male student body.

Kurumu and Moka looked about with interest, but Hayate was of an entirely different mind. Most of the clubs he'd seen so far weren't_ anything_ close to what you'd find in a Human-style School.

"Please, Moka-chan, join the Photography Club!", one enthusiastic hawker called out The aura coming off this guy was creepy beyond otherworldly, Hayate thought to himself privately. Sneaking a look at the girls, they didn't seem to have an opinion of this guy or his club any higher than his. As they all gave polite refusals the guy called out from behind. "Please! We need models, and the two of you girls would help out a lot!" Kurumu looked annoyed while Moka just gave a full body shiver.

At the next section members of the School's Acupuncture and Mummification Clubs attempted a Divide and Conquer tactic. While the girls looked like all they'd get if they were caught was wrapped in linen bandages and separated from the blue-headed boy, Hayate looked like he'd get jabbed and paralyzed with needles and then treated to a free embalming and mummification treatment. The clubs maneuvers ended when Hayate used the Acupuncture Club's own needles against them, putting them down for the count, and then stacking the Mummification Club's members like cord wood the way it was done in later Ptolemaic tombs for the poor. Nearby students applauded the panting bluehead's show of technique.

"Aren't there any _normal_ clubs in this school?", Hayate complained bitterly. Both girls just sweatdropped.

"That depends on your definition of 'normal', Hayate-kun", Kurumu opined.

"Hayate, how did you know what to do with those needles?", Moka asked curiously.

"I had a job once as a Massage Therapist where they taught me how to work with the needles as well as knowing the pressure points on the body", he explained. The pinkette 'Ohhh'ed in astonishment.

'_Mental note to self: have Hayate show me his expertise in massage later, in private'_, Kurumu thought to herself with a faraway look in her eyes and a slight tinting of pink to her cheeks.

The small group was nearing the Gym area of the school, where the various sports clubs were recruiting. The Football* Club _seemed_ nice and normal, but all the members looked like over-steroidal bodybuilders.

"How about joining the Swimming Club?", a seductively silken voice called out. As one the group turned to see who had addressed them. A buxom female student with long green hair, most likely a third year, stood in a two piece bikini waved to any and all male students who passed by her group's booth by the school's swimming pool. A line of female students, other club members one would surmise, were behind her also in various bikinis. "I am Ichinose Tamao, captain of the Youkai Swimming Club. Currently our club members are all female, so we're trying to change that, to make it more co-ed. To any boys who wish to join, we your senpais will give special training service. So, why not come swim with us?" The other club members took up different form-flattering poses or blew kisses to the rapidly growing crowd of boys getting more excited by the second. A crowd of horny (and in a couple cases, horned) teenage males went streaming into the change rooms to get into trunks. The swim club members went off into the pool's fenced in area to get ready for the influx of new recruits. As Hayate pondered his options, the club captain spotted him.

"You there, boy... you seem a bit unsure. Do you know how to swim?", Tamao asked.

Waving both hands in denial, the blunette boy demurred. "Oh, not at all, Ichinose-senpai. I know how to swim very well. I'm just not sure this is the club for me", he smiled apologetically at her.

Now, anyone with more than a lick of common sense (which was in pretty short supply in Youkai Academy to begin with) would've sensed something wrong with the situation here. Hayate wasn't stupid... not by a long stretch... but he lacked a certain perspective. Luckily someone else didn't.

_Something smells fishy here, and I'm _not_ talking about the Home Ec Club's Youkai Seafood Bisque_, that same inner voice he'd heard earlier yesterday called out.

_'I'm hearing voices again'_, Hayate glumly thought. Was the stress finally getting to him?

_Stress? Riiiight. You go on and keep thinking that._ The inner voice seemed more amused than anything. Cracking unseen knuckles it continued its comments. _I guess I'll step in when the next time approaches. Never send a boy to do a __'s work. _The one word Hayate missed had been drowned out by what sounded like the howl of a typhoon gale.

Tamao blinked and then recovered admirably. "How could our club _not _suit you, young man? You seem to be a well-fit and agile person. Swimming could do nothing but good for you at keeping fit." She smiled, sure she'd been able to win him over with logic if not with lust.

"You're pool is 25 meters, correct?" At the beautiful upperclasswoman's nod, he continued. "I would not be able to get any decent laps in there. Plus... I guess I'm just more used to open water, like a bay or an ocean beach." Hayate laughed and smiled bashfully.

This answer surprised the swim club captain. She tried another tack to get him into the pool. "We also take trips to bay and ocean beaches in the Human and Youkai Worlds during Summer Break! Plus there are other ways to keep fit than by doing laps, Doom and Gloom-san", Tamao laughed musically. "Water polo, water volleyball, Marco Polo... the list goes on. Why not give one of those a try and see if it catches your fancy?" She managed to get hold of one of Hayate's arms and was gently but strongly pulling him to the pool changing area.

Where the blunette human was clueless regarding the machinations of the female gender, the girls with him were _not_. They weren't too amused by her persistent efforts to drag off the target of their current attentions/affections.

"He said he's not interested, Senpai. If you missed it, maybe you should invest in a _hearing aid_", Kurumu said in a honey-coated voice. The abruptly empty-handed captain suddenly found herself with talons on either side of her throat as the succubus kept careful hold of Tamao's neck with her right hand. The pink-haired vampire was dragging Hayate away.

"Let's see what other clubs there are before coming back to this one, Hayate-kun, okay? Okay!", Moka fast-talked. The only thing the frustrated swim captain could do was grit her teeth and watch as her prey got away.

'_Oh well. There are other fish much closer to hand. Let's just see if one of them suits my tastes... for now.' _ Ichinose Tamao licked her lips in anticipation. _'The tastiest fish are the ones which are hard to catch.'_ From nearby, shouts of exuberance and laughing turned to cries of surprise and screams of pain and fear.

"Looks like the girls are starting even earlier this year, but who can blame them?", the buxom greenette chuckled. Turning on her heel, she made her way up the stairs into the pool area proper and watched as her club members started corralling the male 'recruits' in the middle of the pool. Seeing a likely young man cowering on the side, she crept up to him and grabbed him. Throwing him into the pool, Tamao apologized to him when he came back up for air.

"Please don't think too badly of us. This is simply our nature at work here." So saying, she leaped into the pool at the terrified young man, starting to change her appearance as she fell upon him.

* * *

><p>Hayate let off a massive sweatdrop when the group of three had gotten back into the school building after getting pulled away from the gregarious and gorgeous swimming club captain. "You know, that kind of thing was probably rude to Ichinose-senpai, girls", he admonished gently. Kurumu just snorted lightly in derision.<p>

"Hayate? I'm sure you meant well, but she wasn't about let you go", the blue-headed bombshell replied dryly. "She was a predator who'd had you marked from the word go."

'_That seems to be a theme lately'_, Hayate deadpanned internally. To the girls he said, "I was just about to disengage myself from her before anything happened though."

Kurumu rolled her eyes. "_Suuurrre_ you were, tiger. You were so smooth at it too, sputtering and blushing." She patted him on the shoulder.

Moka added her ten yen to the conversation. "You have to start realizing Hayate that there are women out there, _not_ just men, who won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Kind of reminds me of two girls who I know, now that I think about it", he said to himself in a quietly dry aside. The pink-haired member of his entourage looked sharply at him very briefly before cocking an eyebrow.

"What did you say, Hayate-kun? I couldn't quite hear over the noise of the crowd", she asked him acerbically.

Sweatdropping profusely, Hayate waffled. "Umm... err, I said it kind of reminds me of some girls I knew _back home_, now that I think abut it. Ha ha ha..." He smiled at Moka weakly and rubbed the back of his neck

"Oh? So that's what it was. Never mind then." So saying, the vampiress's formerly sour look went back to it's default cheerful smile. Hayate let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in.

Jumping up and down in excitement, Kurumu squealed. "Look! Look, Hayate-kun! The Chemistry Club! Imagine what you could make with all those reagents." Aside from the odd-looking ingredients the club members had on display along with smoldering beakers and flasks with differently colored liquids in them, the club _looked_ ordinary enough. A few of the members were even girls, at least giving the club a more coeducational feel to it rather than like the photography, acupuncture, and mummification clubs which had been males predominantly. One such female member was wandering to the open door of the Chemistry classroom the club was using, having seen the three students looking in. She gave a genuinely glad smile, eyes included.

"Welcome to the Chemistry Club! I am Kusshii Ushio, club president. If you wish, please do look around and talk to the few other members we have here. Just try not to disturb any of the experiments that may be in progress, please." She gave a bow, causing her long black bangs to fall over her eyes, obscuring them from view. The rest of her hair was gathered up into a bun at the back of her head, held in place by metal barrettes. Hayate gave Ushio his best bow in return before walking carefully past the much shorter girl.

Other than Ushio there was one other girl in the back by a long table with Bunsen burners and several Erlenmeyer flasks sitting on them bubbling merrily away. Two other male students in lab coats (the whole club seemed to wear lab oats) were off to the side doing some kind of inventory of the chemical reagents, acids, bases, and other solvents. Seeing that the two guys were in a rather heated debate, the three prospective members headed for the back of the classroom single file.

The girl keeping watch of the Bunsen burners and beakers noticed their approach. Her expression changed little other than a slight upturning at the corners of her small mouth. Her jet black hair was done up in twin tails with black ribbons with white frills which trailed back over her slender shoulders. The outfit she wore under her white lab coat was the standard female student's, but with minor modifications to it, such as white ruffles on the sleeves. A black leather choker collar with a silver crucifix hanging from it adorned her neck.

"Ah", the girl quietly noted, "new faces. Ushio-chan managed to snag some live ones. Good... very good." Putting aside the clipboard she'd been writing notes on, the girl got off the stool she'd been sitting on and fixed her skirt. "My name is Eliza. Pleasure to meet you all." She gave a small bow from the waist. The others followed suit and introduced themselves in turn. And then that's when the next mishap of the day happened. A cloud of noxious fumes arose as Eliza suddenly disappeared from view. After the cloud quickly dissipated, she reappeared, but not as she'd looked previously. Her fine pale skin now looked deathly pale and had numerous sutured scars running zig-zag and willy-nilly across it. The whites of her eyes had turned blood red, with her irises being a golden amber in color. On both sides of Eliza's neck, just under the jawbone, large metal bolts had been put into place. Eliza saw their shock and touched herself about the head.

"Damn. The current batch only lasts six hours before it's efficacy wears off", she swore.

"Umm... Eliza-senpai? What kind of youkai are you? And what did you mean when you said 'it wore off'?", Moka asked nervously with her hand raised.

"I'm not exactly what you would call a 'youkai', although I do have my own youki I've been told. I am what would be called a Galvanic Lifeform... a reanimated body, or reanimated body of corpse parts, which has been brought back to life via electrical influences. Or, if you want to get more literal, a Frankenstein's Monster." Eliza chuckled sinisterly. The three newbie scientists sweatdropped. She raised her finger and continued.

"The batch I was referring to had to do with my experiments into finding a more long term way to disguise myself so that I might be able to live among humans without fear of prejudice or reprisal for being what I am. Making the spray tonic cheaper is another concern." She eyed Moka speculatively. "And don't call me senpai. I'm a first year just like you are. I've just... been left back a couple times to allow me to continue my work on my human disguise." She shrugged nonchalantly.

'_She's making a human disguise for herself? I wonder if I can make a disguise for a monster form here?'_, Hayate wondered. He raised his hand to speak. "Eliza-sen-... Eliza-san, is there any way to replicate other monster abilities or forms with just such a tonic or potion?"

Smiling as brightly as such an apparently emotionally-controlled person could, Eliza answered, "Very good question, Ayasaki-kun. Right over here we have an Essence of Carnality Elixir brewing... oh, it's already off to cool." Picking up the flask the elixir was in she approached Hayate with it, keeping careful hold of it with both hands, one on the bottom. "Here... have a sniff. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe unless ingested in bulk."

Hayate took a whiff of the offered flask. A pleasant, almost heady musky scent invaded his nostrils. There were fruity and other floral undertones to it, giving an impression of something alcoholic, like some kind of wine. He was about to say something with his mouth open forming the first word, when the _next_ mishap of the day followed right along on schedule.

***kerrrash!* **A ball smashed into the classroom window, which then tagged the flask in the diminutive monster girl's hand. It shattered, with the contents mostly getting all over our hapless protagonist's head and upper shoulders, with a major amount of the liquid being aimed into his open mouth. By reflex Hayate swallowed some of it with the rest of the elixir landing down the wrong pipes and sending him to his knees coughing.

Scowling, Eliza said, "I've warned those idiots on the ball club to move their baseball diamond around so they don't hit any windows, but they refuse to listen." She turned back to the choking and sputtering boy. "Are you alright? You didn't swallow any of that, did you?"

Getting off his knees, the blueheaded boy coughed once before replying. "Swallowed _and_ breathed it in", Hayate wheezed. Moka had whipped out her handkerchief, and along with Kurumu was in the process of cleaning him up.

Eyes widening (one fell out of its socket, which Eliza had to pop back in along with its optic nerve) the twin-tailed girl slowly started backing away from him. "Is there... anything happening to you right now?", she questioned, holding a white sleeve over her lower face. She kept looking around frantically and called out to the rest of the room. "Gas Mask Protocol, everyone."

Confused, Hayate tilted his head to the side. "No, I'm fine... but I do feel a bit hot right now."

Sounds of rustling cloth and squeaking rubber made the three take notice. The other Chemistry Club members had each produced a gas mask and had quickly donned them before returning to their tasks. Ushio was looking their way in concern and was making her way across the lab space, her own gas mask on. "What's wrong, Eliza? I heard the sound of breaking glass from outside the classroom and then you gave the warning", she asked.

The bemasked Galvanite glared at the club president with half-lidded eyes while gesturing wildly at he broken window with her other arm. "As you can see, Ushio-chan, the baseball club broke yet _another_ window. Ayasaki-kun happened to be the victim this time. He got some of the Carnality Elixir down into his lungs _and_ swallowed an indeterminate amount."

Ushio went pale and grabbed Hayate by both of his upper arms. "You have to get away from the school, Hayate-kun. Find some place isolated and _stay there_ for however long it takes for whatever you're feeling to wear off." She stared at him from out of compassionate eyes. "I am _so_ sorry this happened to you on your first day with us. Please don't leave thinking we take little to no precautions to ensure our member's safety." She pushed the bamboozled boy towards the door. "_Do_ come back after the effects wear off, and remember: stay away from large crowds, especially the females!" So saying, she pushed him outside into the hallway and closed the door, tearing off her face mask.

"Hey! Wait a minute here! What's happening to Hayate?", Kurumu growled as she approached the pale upperclasswoman.

"That elixir, the Essence of Carnality, has an aphrodisiac effect on the opposite sex of whomever ingests it. So, right now he will no doubt start attracting the amorous attentions of just about every female on the campus, from the onset of menarche to the onset of menopause. The user is also affected by the aphrodisiac, but only mildly." Chuckling dryly, Ushio remarks, "I hope Ayasaki-kun has the temperance of a Christian Saint or the stamina of a vampire, because he could literally suffer Death By Sex."

Her own eyes widening, the busty succubus ran off after the missing human boy. "_Whaaat!_ They are _not_ getting a free ride on **my** watch!" She stormed out, not even bothering to close the door.

"Umm... how long does this aphrodisiac last exactly?", Moka asked nervously. The pink-haired vampire fidgeted, wanting to be chasing down Hayate to help him, but needing answers more.

Scratching her head, Ushio wondered aloud, "Which reagent was used as part of the timing component, Miach?"

One of the other males in the room turned his head. He was of a slender build, with short tousled brown hair, freckles, and dancing grey eyes. "I put in the Moebius Grass like ye asked me, Ushio me girl", he answered with a musical lilt to his voice.

Facepalming and sighing out loud, the short black-haired club president eyed the taller boy suspiciously. "I _said_ put in 60 mgs of Chronos Ash, _not_ Moebius Grass! Ugh! Now the primary effects will last indefinitely." Ushio sighed again and said sadly, "Poor Ayasaki-kun." She glared at the boy Miach. "I hope for your sake that it was accidental rather than you just being your usual irrepressible self."

"Kusshii-san, what was that elixir made for, and how will the grass affect it?", Moka asked again, frustration growing more obvious on her face.

"The Essence of Carnality was made to mimic the powers and form of a creature of Passion and Lust. Either a Succubus, or in Ayasaki-kun's case, an Incubus. The aphrodisiac ability is just a side effect of the potion. Only the most powerful of Succubi or Incubi have the capacity to release those kinds of pheromones. That ability is called 'blossoming', and it can affect large numbers of individuals. Until the pheromones wear off, those affected will be nothing more than near-mindless sex slaves to the one who attracted them. Even now, I'm not sure how the elixir will affect Ayasaki-kun. It was more of an experiment, not for actual use." Ushio shook her head. "I do hope he survives this misadventure, if for nothing else so we know where we screwed up and how we can improve or alter the chemical recipe for next time."

Moka excused herself from the room, and ran off, sniffing the air for signs of Hayate's recent passage.

At the back of the lab, the girl Eliza rubbed both of her hands together gleefully. "Huhuhuhu! I may have just found my new guinea p-... lab assistant." Her eyes glittered manically.

* * *

><p>Running at close to normal human speeds due to the massive crowds, the beleaguered blue-head cursed his luck once again. Having run into a cluster of female students near the Kendo Club's booth, he'd bowled over a slender blonde about his age. Somehow or other, he'd managed to land on the floor faceup, with her groin up close and personal with his mouth. Green eyes which had stared at him in embarrassed outrage now slowly glazed over. The girl's cheeks reddened considerably as well, and her lips glistened when she started licking them. That was all the proof Hayate needed that he'd probably be better off elsewhere, posthaste if the rising desire he saw in the faces of passing females was any indication. Increasingly, he started gathering a large horde of slack-jawed glaze-eyed young women... all after <em>him<em>.

Running up one set of stairs, he got to the2nd floor. Here the number of students was slightly less than the 1st floor had been, but there were still too many to pour on the speed. At any rate, once again his forward motion was halted abruptly by crashing into something very soft.

'_Please don't be boobies... please don't be boobies... oh please God, please, please, _please _don't be boobies!'_, Hayate prayed with all his might. And looked up into the amused bespectacled brown eyes of his Math teacher, Kagome Ririko. His gaze drifted upward more.

"I hate you _so_ much right now", the blue-headed human muttered.

"Hu hu... oh, don't be that way, Ayasaki-kun. Anyway, don't you know it's not safe. To. Run. In. The. Halls?" Each word after 'safe' was emphasized by her forefinger gently tapping on the tip of his nose.

"I apologize, Kagome-sensei. now, if you'll excuse me..." Hayate tried disengaging himself from the sexy brunette with no success. Ririko-sensei grabbed hold of his arms and drew him in. She took a deep sniff at his neck. "Have you changed your cologne, Ayasaki-kun? It's simply... divine!", she purred appreciatively.

Getting even more nervous, Hayate snuck a glance behind him. It seemed like the whole Love Zombie Brigade had made it as far as the staircase, and were scanning the crowd for him. He used a technique to render himself seemingly bonelsss, the better to slip from Kagome-sensei's amorous grasp. Getting away from the loudly protesting teacher, Hayate ran for another staircase.

_While the girls following you might be mewling kittens, that adult woman back there fit the snake lady mood a bit too well_, the inner voice which sounded like a slightly older version of Hayate's ruminated. _Oh shit, and **here comes a fucking **_**cougar**_**!**_, it bellowed at him internally. Hayate whipped his head around as he ran.

Nekonome-sensei was running at him on all fours, her tail twitching high above her shapely buttocks. A throaty purr got louder the closer she got to the fleeing blunette.

"Nyaaa~! Wait up, Hayate-kun! I finally have a problem only you can help me with!", the busty blonde moaned as she leaped for his ankles to trip him up.

"Nonsense, you tuna-headed half-wit. It's against the rules to fraternize with the student body. Besides, he has after school lessons he'll need for the midterms coming up in several weeks _Spe_-cial lessons", Kagome-sensei seductively called out from her place in the race. Gone was her human disguise. Now her lower body was that of a large snake while her upper body remained that of a sexy brunette woman.

Spooked beyond the power to speak, the horrified human boy just flat out ran as fast as he could, leaping over crowds and in the process scattering more of the pheromone his body was currently pumping out. Going up another couple of floors, Hayate eventually found his way to a staircase at the end of which was a single door.

'_The roof... at last!'_, he thought while catching his breath momentarily. Opening the door and then closing it behind him, he got his first view of the school from a higher vantage point. The wind here was slow but had a Fall crispness to it with the hint of dry leaves. He wandered over to the hand rail. The ground was at least four, five stories down from here... too unsafe to land on if he jumped.

The sound of stamping footsteps and mumbling got louder, and Hayate looked around quickly for some kind of cover to hide in. Nothing on the roof landing here, but... wait! The roof entrance structure had some kind of water tower built into and atop it. _'Perfect'_, he thought. Making a desperate last ditch effort, he leaped up onto the roof entrance and crouched behind the water tower, praying to anyone except God since _He_ was being a big weenus again today.

'_What did I ever do to piss Him off?'_, the blue-head boy wondered tearfully.

* * *

><p>Somewhere high up on a cloud bank two figures sat watching events on the Earth below. Right now, it was the Ayasaki Hayate Hours of Sour Marathon. Three years (on contract, of course) of being... you guessed it... a Cosmic Chew Toy thrown into a world he hadn't known existed, except for in fairy tales and legends. Ever since Zohar Productions had the script changed, ratings had been skyrocketing higher than the Holy Throne. It seems the schadenfreude-loving public digs the new character lineup, and not just the regular stars who'd been in the original script.<p>

The large Male Figure laughed His ass off watching as Hayate barreled right in between his Math teacher's jugs. The female figure next to Him just smirked.

"Doesn't take much to amuse You, does it?", she stated rather than asked. Her blood-red slitted eyes twinkled.

Wiping the tears of laughter from His eyes, the Male Figure gave the woman next to him a sardonic look. "That boy has the sex drive of Mother Teresa. I'm still waiting for the day when he finally sinks into the gutter and loses that lily white purity of his. And now that he's in _that_ school? He'll be lucky to graduate with his virginity intact."

The chuckling Being, who it was said resembled a certain 'oil tycoon' and evil Santa Claus, turned back to the drop-off and bounced up and down on His Keister in excitement. "Ooo ooo... another good part's coming up now!"

Sighing, the lady, who it was said resembled a certain blond vampiress in control of a certain multinational corporation, just shook her head. "And I thought_ I_ was the Evil One here", she muttered more to herself. She elbowed the White Suited Male and called out louder, "Why not make it more interesting? A wager, based on whether or not he'll lose his cock cherry _or_ how long it takes."

"Let's make the wager on how long he'll manage to hold out. He's not leaving Youkai without getting any, willing or otherwise. Those hormone-flooded females of the student body'll guarantee that."

"You're forgetting the female staff members", the blond reminded Him.

"No I'm not. I'm _excluding_ them. Have you taken a look at some of the ages they've registered with their place of employment? That ditzy cat woman? '24 years old', My ass. She's on the lying side of 30... Christmas Cake. And that lamia mathematician? With their species' longevity? Don't get Me started." The nattily dressed August Personage snorted derisively.

The darkly clad blond raised a hand in protest. "They have just as much of a chance of nailing this Ayasaki guy as any of the younger girls though."

The Old Man opened His mouth to speak, thought better of it and shut His mouth again. "Point made. I'll wager Hayate won't be pure after he reaches Third Year. Having had two full years to work him over, the girls he'll surround himself with won't be able to take much more celibacy. Two of them came to the school with the intent of leaving it with a mate _specifically_. If _that_ doesn't get him a threesome, never mind laid, then there's no hope at all for the boy", He shook His head sadly.

Grinning as enigmatically as the Cheshire Cat, the blond femme fatale replied, "Well, I'm going to play my own Advocate, like I always do and say he'll never make it to the night before Graduation with his purity or _dignity_ intact. Now... what shall the wager be bet with? Souls?"

Shaking His head in firm denial, the Old Man said, "The souls you have are quite worthless to Me while the souls in MY care are much better. No, I believe we should exchange Favors. Such as... if you win the bet, Saturday shall henceforth be renamed Caturday on the Gregorian Calendar in honor of your favorite creatures in Existence. Would you be happy with that?"

Squealing and clapping her hands like an excited little girl, the lady chirped, "Works for me!" Placing a beautifully manicured red nail against her chin, she gave a hum of concentration. "How... about... the location of the True Holy Grail?"

the Old Man shook His head again. "You mean the water bong that My Stoned-Off-His-Ass Son left behind at Woodstock? Or are you referring to the beer stein He'd been using previously?"

"Is that any way to talk about Your Son, the Prince of Peace?", the red-eyed lady raised an eyebrow as she asked.

"Prince of Peace? Hah! 'Prince of Peace Pipes' maybe. It's because of His habit that His Message to His Church got all garbled!"

Realizing that going back and forth about the merits or disadvantages of Free Love and Legal Pot would ultimately go nowhere, the female figure thought about an appropriate wager for the bet. And gave a diabolical smile.

"Well then, how about information regarding the location of the Power of Royalty?"

Eyes blinking once, the old Man gave the blond woman a serious look. "Now_ that_ would be fair recompense for winning this bet. But I'd like to see the wager, in person, before we agree to this."

Smiling magnanimously, she said, "But of course!" Clapping her hands twice she didn't have long to wait before a shadowy figure appeared and knelt before the Embodiment of Evil.

"Fetch Me the duralumin case with 'it' inside." Her tone was no-nonsense.

"At once." The shadow disappeared.

The old Man laughed at something on the Earth. "That's right,boy... head right to the roof. Only one exit means you're trapped. It's all over but for the moaning.'

A metal briefcase materialized from a cloud of dark energy a few seconds later. Hurriedly unlocking the case and flipping the snaps open, the blond woman opened the lid of the case... only to find a piece of paper in it. She pulled it out and read it. And scowled, veins popping out of her forehead.

'... The... the utter nerve of those bastards! I can't believe it." Facepalming and then rubbing the bridge of her nose, she sighed.

"What's wrong, Lucy? Misplace something?" False solicitousness colored the Old Man's tone.

"No... a couple of my former operatives pawned off the Power of Royalty, it seems."

"WHAT! Let _Me_ see that note...!" Having snatched the note, which contained scribbles and the drawn faces of two figures, male and female, a frown marred the Face of The Man. "If only he'd snapped and killed them both several years back after they sold that ring of his."

"That would be murder, making him one of mine, wouldn't it?"

"Eh. He's too perfect as he is anyway. It would just add more character flaws to him." The Old Man shrugged noncommittally.

_'How can a girl be an effective Adversary when the Big Guy insists on being more evil than you?'_, Lucy wondered. She tugged on her Host's sleeve.

"Looks like something's about to happen again".

"Orgy! Orgy! Orgy!"

The Adversary just rolled her blood-rimmed eyes.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Meanwhile, back on Earth...<strong>_

The sound of approaching doom got noticeably louder. The door to the roof suddenly gave out under the weight of all the bodies pressing against it and hit the roof with a crash. Hayate hoped like hell none of the girls had wings, or could fly. He almost screamed when a girl's head on an impossibly long neck floated up looking around the roof area. Her eyes widened when she spotted him crouched against the back of the water tower.

"He's here!", she cried out. Immediately a half dozen girls leaped up on to the stairway entrance roof and made a semi-circle about him.

Not being able to take this, the blue-head did a flying somersault over the heads of the surrounding girls and landed adroitly enough on his two feet before rushing to the roof's far end. Anywhere from 60 to 80 girls of various years, excluding three teachers who'd been caught up in this fiasco, now inhabited the school roof. All of them made slow halting steps toward Hayate, their eyes and lips glistening moistly.

Just as the first wave was about to dog-pile him, Hayate covered his head with both arms and cried out, "This is _not_ behavior befitting ladies, so for your own sakes, **STOP!**"

When no mass molestation happened, he uncovered his face and opened his eyes. they were all standing a few feet from him in a massive wall of eager female. Hayate didn't know what to make of this.

_'Okay... they're remarkably obedient like this. Now what?'_, he wondered. He didn't have to wait long for his answer.

Shooting pain raced from the top of his head to the ends of his toes. The heat which had taken over his body climbed higher still and he cried out in agony. The area about his shoulder blades and the ends of his fingers and toes in particular burned with a neuropathic fire. Hayate fell into a crouch with tears of pain trickling down his cheeks. A sensation and sound not unlike skin stretching and tearing came from his back, posterior, feet and fingers. The coppery scent of blood filled the air as drops of his blood dripped onto the roof under the tormented blunette. When next he looked up from his crouch, he noticed the awed, almost worshipful, expressions on the faces of the surrounding throng. _That's_ when it hit him.

The smell. Overall what Hayate was getting was the scent of mildly sweaty yet perfumed female bodies, but that wasn't all by any stretch. He also caught the sweet and sour scent of women in full bloom. The scent of their fragrant need...and moreover he could feel their Lust, their overwhelming Desire for _him_. It was more than his rapidly crumbling Will could handle. Here he was, surrounded by a veritable Garden of Delights, and all he had to do was reach out his hand to pluck one of the blossoms awaiting his touch. Even the fully ripened fruit in front of him tempted the young man to grab for it and have a taste...

From above came a delighted cry. "Haaa-yaaa-teee-kuuun!" It was the succubus, Kurono Kurumu.

A switch flipped in the young man's head, and he did a flying forward leap off the roof. "Not you too, Kurumu-san!", Hayate wailed. "I've had enough with getting mobbed by women!"

The wind about him picked up as Hayate started getting closer to the ground.

"Pull up, Hayate! Pull yourself up!", she shouted over the din of screaming wind.

"Pull up? How! Yaaah!" He threw up his arms in front of his face before he could crash into the trees in the outer courtyard of the school.

A pair of slender arms grabbed him from under his armpits and pulled him out of his terminal velocity dive.

"A bit clumsy, but since it's your first time, understandable", and amused voice said. A minute later, Hayate was put down outside the school's wall. He turned to face the smug succubus.

"What do you mean clumsy? I was falling to my death!", he growled .

"That wouldn't have happened if you could've caught on quickly enough how to control your dive", Kurumu said pointing her taloned finger in back of him, or more specifically at something _on_ his back. He stared open-mouthed. Twin bluish black wings, not unlike a demon's would look, arched back behind him. Hayate spread his hands... and then had even more reason to just stare like an idiot. Talons, much shorter but appearing just as harp as the blue-haired girl's adorned his fingers at the ends where his fingernails would be.

"... What the fuck is going on?", he finally managed to get out.

Purple eyes shining with excitement, Kurumu smiled brightly. "Why, the trigger for your 'blossoming' is what was going on, Hayate-kun. Yahoo~hoo!" Cheering wildly, she jumped the befuddled boy and gave him the Mother of All Marshmallow Hellos. Suffocating from a lack of air, Hayate wondered how the day could possibly get worse.

"Hayate!", a breathless and very familiar voice called out from nearby.

_'Oh yeah'_, he thought, starting to fade out, _'there's _that_.'_

* * *

><p>Moka had just made it to the outer courtyard where she'd caught a glimpse of batlike wings barely recovering from a flatout drop. The two figures descended into a batch of trees and tombstones over the wall. Groaning, she turned around and went the long way to the outside, by the front gate.<p>

As soon as she'd made it to the clearing where the two figures stood, the pinkette vampire was pooped. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw what had become of Hayate. Except for the blue tinged face and glassy eyes, he was the male equivalent to the busty blue-headed girl. Two large wings, talons, pointed ears, and a tail with a devil's spade attached to his rear and hanging out of a hole in his uniform pants. The other girl was attempting to revive him.

**'_The energy in his body has changed considerably. _Now_ it's mostly youki' _**, her Other's voice mused. '**_Still it begs the question as to how a school club can have the ability to alter a person's very inner being so very much.'_**

_'But... this will change the quality of his blood, won't it? I don't want that!'_, Moka whined to herself.

**_'If there's a way to make someone an incubus, then there will almost certainly be a way to turn them back. Don't lose heart so quickly!'_**, her inner voice chided. **_'Right now, let's separate the two of them before something irrevocable happens.'_**

Nodding resolutely, she addressed the buxom bluehead. 'Kurumu! What are you doing to him?", she asked with a frown.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Moka? I'm _congratulating_ him!", the succubus answered with a 'yahoo!'.

Gesturing and blushing at the half-dressed boy, Moka yelled, "No, I meant _that_! You don't need to undress him!", she growled.

"Well, what else was I supposed to do? His wings are tangled up in his jacket and shirt while his shoes are pretty much trashed with longer toenails going through the tips", Kurumu said by way of explanation. "Besides... _look _at him. He's _beautiful_ now!"

And Moka saw. Saw the body that Hayate's clothes had kept covered up until this point. Muscles, well-defined for such a slender body type , rippled lightly as the unconscious boy twitched. With the only damage being the hole that his tail hung listlessly from out of, the pants were pretty much intact. An unearthly glow radiated off of his body, and the worry lines he'd had earlier had disappeared. She gulped and swallowed loudly.

"And think... this is just with him _sleeping_!", the nodding succubus remarked appreciatively, eyeing her unconscious counterpart.

A groan escaped the lips of the transformed boy just then. His eyes opened slowly. A pair of violet-colored eyes met his own gaze.

"Waaaah!" He pulled himself away from the blue-haired girl. Hayate glanced at both girls carefully once he'd recovered his balance. Both had flushed cheeks. Kurumu looked ready to jump him. Moka looked like she wanted a meal. Now was looking like a good time to run.

Suiting thought to action, he dug his heel into the hard dry ground and pushed off... only to have one of his ankles snagged by a tree root, sending him crashing to the ground ungracefully. Spitting out a mouthful of earth, he made ready to scream at which point his view was obscured by a blushing pink-haired vampire's head, facing him. Moka grabbed both sides of his head and stopped his protests with a kiss. Hayate's mind went blank with shock. Then he got a bright idea. '_If it worked with that large crowd, it should work with individuals!'_

Pulling away from the pinkette's face, Hayate commanded, "Moka, stop that!" And 'Lo and Behold, it was so. She looked disheartened, but she did stop her actions. Now he had another problem:

The amorous succubus caressing him with full body contact... correction, _nude_ full body contact... from behind.

"K-Kurumu-san... why did you take off your clothes?", the panicked young man squeaked out.

Giggling, the busty blunette answered, "Why, for skinship, silly!"

As she pressed against his winged back more firmly, blood started rushing off into two directions in his body.

_Oh shit_, his inner voice moaned in disbelief, _is that... yes it is! __**Ultra Bust Impact!**_

'_You're absolutely no help here, you know!'_, Hayate cried out in anger at his perverted deeper self.

Shaking his nonexistent head to clear it of any distractions, the boy's deeper self coughed in embarrassment. _Oh, fine. Have it your way, you scared virgin._

Hayate managed to shrug out of Kurumu's embrace long enough for a wind to suddenly start building up around his body. It moved and set itself between the boy and the two affected and affectionate girls.

_Well? Start running, you! The wind wall won't hold them long_, his inner voice warned.

Running at top speed... for someone with wings he's not used to dragging him back and Little Hayate standing at attention, anyway... the transmogrified boy took as many sideways paths and meandering backtracks as he could to throw off any possible pursuit. Hayate wasn't quite sure yet how he was going to foil their sense of smell though. Probably any number of the monster races had better senses of smell than humans did.

_'I need to get back to my own room at the dorm'_, he thought while keeping watch for any sign of being followed.

_Considering your present aversion to the female gender, that'd be a bad idea. Do you _really_ think a handful of male students and faculty will be able to stem a tide of horny women?_, his inner self reasoned.

_'Then what would _you _suggest?'_ Hayate asked, short on patience. Was that a snapping branch? He looked around from his hiding spot in the bushes.

_Find someone in authority... someone male._ An imaginary eyebrow rose. _ The Academy's headmaster?_

It _was _a dead branch snapping. He stopped his breathing in time just as a pair of slender female legs came into view, moving silently. Because of the lack of leg warmers, the boy narrowed the possible candidate to being Moka. He made ready to grab her and knock her out if she came closer.

One thing Hayate noticed about the legs, other than their unusual pale coloration were the purple and violet stripped thigh-high stockings that covered them to almost an inch or two from the bottom of the non-regulation length skirt.

_'Wait a second... Moka doesn't wear socks like those'_, he thought to himself.

Almost without warning, a pair of pupil-less crystal blue eyes stared into the bush where he'd been hiding. His arms snapped out and pulled the startled girl into him, her back to him. For a moment, no one said anything. Hayate had one hand over the girl's mouth and the other pinning her arms to her side. She did struggle at first, until her eyes met his and she calmed down. Curiously her body was quite cool to the touch.

"Okay", he whispered into her ear, "are you calmed down?" At her nod, he continued. "Will you scream if I remove my hand?" She shook her head. '_I'm taking a chance with this'_, he grumbled internally. He removed his hand from the girl's mouth slowly, and then shifted that arm to pinning her arms, with the other hand keeping hold of his left arm. All in all, it looked more like he was embracing the girl. The blush on her cheeks heightened.

Moving a lock of her lavender hair out of his face with his right hand, Hayate continued talking.

"Right... why were you here? Following me?"

"Yes", was her quiet reply.

"Why?", Hayate asked plaintively.

"Because you're strange."

"Strange? How?"

"You're strong, yet you act weak. You have people around you, yet you act like you're all alone. You're very skilled, yet you act clumsy. And above all the other mysteries surrounding you, you attract girls like flies to honey, yet you act like a pure boy." With that she turned herself in his arms until she was straddling his lap. "What kind of incubus _are _you?"

Hayate was at a loss for words again. She was certainly a cute one, this pale violet-haired girl, and her earnest question made her that much more irresistible. He would've liked to answer, but an interruption in the far background brought any kind of reply to a screeching halt. _This_ _time_ it seemed to be Moka.

Whispering even more quietly into her ear, he said, "When I move, hold on tight." Not knowing what he planned, she just nodded uncomprehendingly.

He picked up a large rock lying nearby in the shadow of the cluster of bushes and hurled it in the direction upwind of him. Moka's head snapped up and stared hard into the distance, trying to gauge how far that movement had been. As soon as her attention had been distracted long enough, Hayate scooped up the lavender-headed girl Princes Style and _ran_, as fast as his legs would carry him.

_Let's see if you can at least take off gliding with those new wings of yours, kid_, his inner voice pointed out.

So that's what he did. Hayate ran with his wings closed, trying to hit his best speed on foot. It wasn't breaking the sound barrier, but he got as fast as a car on the highway.

Now _spread you wings! Let the wind build up and pull you into the sky!, _his inner self cried out excitedly. And, quickly spreading his wings, the blunette boy felt the wind grab him under, and like a lifting hand raise his body into the air. Higher and higher until finally he was gliding over the tops of the dead trees in the forest.

_Flap your wings to gain altitude and forward motion. Watch for air thermals... those are the warm air currents which will let you gain altitude more rapidly. And watch out for air traffic, like that succubus!_

_'You're just a_ fount _of information now, aren't you?'_, Hayate groused _'Where was all that help before, when I was on the rooftop?'_

_Quitcher bitchin', Pure Boy,_ his inner self retorted. _Of all the possible mortals I could've ended up with, you just had to be the... **nude bogey at One 'o clock!**_, he screamed.

Sure enough, one completely nude succubus was winging her way at him from the right side, set to tackle.

"Hayate, why did you run? I was all set to congratulate you, Succubus Style!", Kurumu pouted cutely. She noticed the passenger in his arms. "Picking up girls again? Well I suppose we need some kind of party favor, so it's fine." The far more experienced flier was about to glom on to the burdened beginner, but a shift in wind current caused him to jink just out of reach of her.

_'Wind... that's it!'_, Hayate brightened. _'Hey... can you do that thing with the wind again? Like, wrap the wind around us so it can be used to propel us forward faster?'_

_It's possible. Using your noggin, eh? Good on you_, his inner voice saluted him with a nonexistent hand. _One sec... there!_

The air around his body spiraled inward and condensed into a sort of wind tunnel around him. And just like that, he and his passenger shot forward, leaving the loudly protesting Kurumu behind. Because his wings were dragging behind, Hayate pulled them in a bit so that only some surface tension was allowed. This sped things up precipitously. He took a moment to check on the status of his passenger.

"Are you alright, Miss...?", he started asking then stopped after catching sight of the girl's expression. Her face was flushed, eyes glassy while she stared into his face. A small trickle of drool hung from the corner of her mouth. He cursed inwardly. "I need to take her someplace safe. Wait a minute. Headmaster's office? That's it!' Hayate turned on his side to aim in the direction of the Administration Building he'd seen with Moka last week.

_Well, that's it for me. Good luck with the rest of it, Grasshopper_, his inner voice yawned mightily.

_'Huh? Why are you going?'_

_Because I'm _tired_. Along with the energy I used helping you out today, that infusion of dark energy which flooded you and woke me up earlier cut down the amount of energy I can channel safely without killing you. Now, go away, ya bother me_, shooing Hayate off mentally, his internal mentor rolled over and shut his eyes.

_'But what's your _name_!'_, Hayate cried out in frustration.

Opening one eye, his other self said, _Think about it for a moment, Bright Eyes. For all intents and purposes I'm _you_. Now... g'night_. His eye closed again.

Shaking his head in pique, the blunette incubus saw that he'd come up on the Administration Building after his inner dialogue ended. _ 'Now...to land without crashing...' _He found a likely spot to land and made his final approach. Remembering how he'd seen Kurumu slow herself down, Hayate attempted to imitate her.

Wings beating strongly, he touched down and skipped a couple of times trying to stop. Furling his wings as much as he was able to at the moment, the young man took the stairs leading up to the building's front door two at a time. With one arm holding the semi-catatonic girl upright, Hayate opened the front door.

It was very dark inside, with sparse lighting provided for by lit candelabras. The air as still, quiet. A massive staircase led up to the second floor in the middle of the huge first room. Gothic styled glass windows provided almost no light, their panes seeming to have been painted over with black paint. Wall to wall carpeting dampened the sound of his footsteps as he started up the staircase, listening for any sound whatsoever... other than the gentle sighs coming from the lavender-haired girl as she followed him.

From a set of wooden double doors in front of the stair's landing came the sound of voices talking in normal indoor tones. One female and the other... not. With the affected girl standing quietly behind him, Hayate knocked on the door.

"Come in!", a bright cheery _older_ female voice warbled out. He sighed with relief and opened the door.

"Excuse my intrusion.", he politely said.

Beyond the large wooden double doors was a cluttered yet roomy antechamber, on the other side of which was _yet_ another set of wooden double doors. Here in the antechamber a wooden desk and file cabinet were pushed against one side, behind the desk an older greying matronly woman kept watch over the phone and visitors.

"Yes? May I help you?", she asked quite pleasantly with a smile.

"Ah, I need o speak with the Headmaster. Would he be in right now?", Hayate asked nervously.

"Certainly he is! One moment while I announce you. You and your friend may have a seat right over there", the elderly secretary gestured in the direction of a few armless chairs opposite her desk.

He looked just behind him. Sure enough, the oddly dressed girl he'd carried here in flight was shambling along behind him a few feet away. The bluehead sighed. "Have a seat", he ordered the girl. she gave a wordless nod and took the chair on the right. Hayate had to avert his gaze from her because the position she'd taken on her seat had her knees up against her chest and somewhat open, showing off her purple and white striped panties. He took the next seat over from her in the middle.

The Headmaster's Aide opened the inner doors and entered the darkened room beyond. There must've been soundproofing at work because Hayate could hear nothing of what was said in the other room. The weird girl's eyes never deviated from his face, until she somehow or other decided to rest her head against Hayate's right shoulder.

The door to the Headmaster's office opened and the secretary stood there holding the door wide. "He'll see you now, Ayasaki-kun", she said with a friendly smile.

The next room was indeed much darker than the last one. Candles provided the only illumination. At the far end of he room, in front of a pair of heavily curtained windows sat a huge wooden desk, behind which sat an imposing figure in white robes. His eyes, which seemed to brood within the darkness of his robe's habit, were large and white in illumination. He looked like a Priest of some sort, but except for the Rosario which he wore on a chain about his neck there were no other signs of his denomination of faith.

**"Well, well... what brings you to our door at this hour, Ayasaki Hayate-kun?"**, the Headmaster's rich deep voice rolled away from him and reverberated around the room.

Clearing his throat, the blue-haired boy started from the beginning, leaving little out about his experiences thus far at the Academy. The Headmaster listened intently before asking the first of his own questions.

**"And what exactly are you hoping I can do to help, Ayasaki-kun?"**, the Headmaster raised an eyebrow.

"This transformation... it's not who or what I was. Can this be reversed? I don't want to be an incubus... not if it causes things like _**this**_ to happen!", Hayate cried out, gesturing at the pale lavender-haired girl for emphasis.

The Priestly Figure looked over Hayate and then the girl in turn with a finger on his chin in thought. **"Whatever the concoction that caused this was made with must've been rare and expensive. The effects, aside from the aphrodisiac, would seem to be permanent. Your body, in addition to the seiki it already possesses in huge quantities, can also now generate it's own youki.****"** The Headmaster pulled off his glasses and stared hard at Hayate. ** "I don't know what was done to you to make you this strong, but it must've been something impressive."**

"She said she was named after a goddess, the greatest in the world...", Hayate muttered listlessly.

**"Hmm? Something you'd care to add, Ayasaki-kun?"**, the Headmaster asked.

Sweatdropping, Hayate waved both hands in denial. "Oh, no no, Sir! Ha ha ha... but I'd like to get her back to normal if at all possible", he said, patting his present companion's shoulder.

Chuckling, the Priest remarked, **"That little problem should be wearing off in another couple of hours if it hasn't already. Elixirs and potions aren't all that well known for their lengthy durations. How **_**this**_** one affected you is an oddity, to be sure." **He considered the matter some more. **"Perhaps the seiki in your body reacted badly with it, or some other influence may have exacerbated the problem? I can only guess without any sort of tests being done." **The Headmaster spread his hands apologetically. **"Sorry."**

Cursing his luck yet _again_, the blunette brought up his final problem. "Is there work to be had for a student at this school, Sir? I'm not used to living off other's generosity, and would feel a lot better being able to pay my own way, so to speak."

**"What kind of work are you looking for, Hayate-kun? What kind of work experience do you have, is what I'm **_**really**_** asking."** The Robed Figure eyed him seriously for a moment, his hands steepled in front of his half-hidden face.

Rubbing his head sheepishly, Hayate enumerated his list of past jobs. "I was also a live-in butler for a girl when I was six... she... it didn't work out and I was finally let go", he finished. His face darkened remembering what had happened at their parting.

Eyes slitting in interest, the Headmaster asked, **"How long did you work as a butler? Were you given some sort of training to perform your job and its assigned tasks satisfactorily? Who was your instructor, and most importantly, who was your employer at that time?"**

Hayate stumbled over what to say and how to word it. "Umm... my instructor and my employer were one and the same, Sir."

**"And that person was...?" **The Priestly Figure was merciless in his questioning. **"Keep in mind your answers and their veracity will affect whether or not you can be employed here, Hayate-kun. You want a job? Fine. Then provide credible references for me to check."**

"But, Sir... you might not find her anywhere! We parted on pretty bad terms, and her residence can't be reached from just anywhere", the blue-headed boy protested.

**"That will be _my_ problem, Hayate-kun. Now... her name...?"**

Sighing in resignation, Hayate gave in. "Her name is... or was... Athena Tennōs."

He looked up from where he'd been staring at the floor to find the Headmaster's eyes widening briefly.

Clearing his throat twice, the Headmaster returned his hands to their steepled position.

**"I may have an opening for you, Ayasaki-kun. The work will be part-time since you're still a student, but of course it'll be nothing you wouldn't be used to already." **He waited a moment before continuing. **"There are several guest houses here for VIPs, visiting parents who might stay overnight, or others for whom we simply have no room in the dorms for. You will be living in one of those as it's Chief Steward... a head butler, if you will. There will, of course, be a decent stipend for your expenses, as well as the possibility of future employment should you consider continuing to work here after Graduation." **The White-Robed Figure spread his hands and smiled. "**What is your answer, Ayasaki-kun? Do you accept the offer?"**

Raising his hand, Hayate asked, "What is the stipend's amount? I'll need to pay for groceries, after all."

**"The school will be billed for the living expenses of the guest house, Hayate-kun. So... your answer is...?"**

The young man put out his hand. "I accept then, Sir."

Shaking Hayate's hand with a cool firm grip, the Priest grinned. **"I thought you might, Ayasaki Hayate."**

* * *

><p>Alone in her room, the weirdly dressed girl dropped her ecstatic expression for her usual one of placidity. The Ayasaki boy wasn't anything like she'd been expecting to find. Instead of a strong, shallow Lothario, she'd discovered a self-effacing,gentle, kind-hearted loner. Something had happened to her while stalking him, and instead of taking advantage of the situation the way others would have, he goes and tries to get help for her. Definitely worthy of further inquests (ie; stalking).<p>

"Maybe there_ is_ something to be said for school", she considered. "I may need to rethink skipping classes."

Taking a camera from her pocket, she skipped other snapshots until she found the one she wanted. It was a digital picture of Hayate in his new school uniform with him facing away from her, smiling. The uniform? An all-black blazer and pants with a dark green waistcoat, and a red string tie in a shoestring knot. The school patch and student insignia were the same as the regular green and tan uniform. To cap it all off were the black Oxfords on his feet.

Shirayuki Mizore smiled. Yes, school was looking more and more bearable.

* * *

><p>By the time Hayate had finished taking care of arrangements of deliveries to be made to his assigned guest house and made sure that his charge had been left in her own dorm to recover from the aphrodisiac it was late afternoon, early evening. Most of the clubs had shut down for the day already, and he hadn't spotted Moka or Kurumu yet. Not that he <em>wanted <em>to if they could remember what they'd done under the influence of the pheromones. Thanks to the help of the Headmaster he'd managed to figure out how to change back into his normal state. It had something to do with Emotions... and Will. At any rate, it seemed like the effects of the elixir had worn off on the women who'd been influenced by it. Some of the girls still in the main building were giving him weird looks though. He quickly made his way to the chemistry room where the club had been.

There were only two people outside the room, one of whom was locking the chemistry room's door with a brass skeleton key: Ushio, the club president. Eliza was leaning up against the wall not far from her quietly muttering to herself. Both sensed Hayate's approach, however.

"Well, if it isn't the gigolo himself", the Galvanite girl teased him. "Lose something?"

Ushio looked him up and down. "So, the potion wore off? Good", she sighed in relief. "I was hoping to see you again to apologize and try to sweeten the deal so you and your friends would stay."

"Not that I didn't find the club interesting or anything, but I think chemistry just isn't for me", Hayate smiled sadly. "I'm not all that sure what would suit me in a club, never having participated even in middle school."

Eliza spoke up. "Who says you have to be a full member? You could even be a ghost member. Just let us use your names to pad our club so our funding doesn't get cut, and maybe walk in and out the door on some club days. If you wanted to participate, then great. I'm sure no one here'll force you, not after what you went through." She smiled mysteriously.

That sounded good to the blue-haired student-butler. 'Alright", he nodded, "but I can't speak for the girls."

'Great!", Ushio cheered. "We meet up here every Thursday and Saturday. Have a good night, Ayasaki-kun!" She waved as she walked off with her carryall bag over her left shoulder.

_'Hmm'_, Hayate thought. _The entire day lost and no club.'_ He sighed and headed for the Boy's Dorm to pack.

A familiar pair of blue and pink heads moved in his direction unerringly, like a pair of land sharks. And they looked none too happy.

"Hayate! Where have you been!", Kurumu growled. "I wanted to celebrate your Coming Out in style, but you ran off like a scared little girl! And where's the dead weight?" For some reason, Moka was being quiet, and that had Hayate more on edge than an upset succubus.

"I-I had to go see the Headmaster for some help, ha ha ha. Sorry for ditching you guys like that", he apologized and laughed weakly.

The pink haired vampiress gave him an unhappy look. "Because of everything that's happened we missed out on signing up with a good club." She sighed.

From behind Kurumu and Moka came an excited cry. "Nya~? You haven't had any luck with clubs? Why not join the Newspaper Club, then?", Nekonome-sensei asked, stepping from around the busty blunette girl.

The two girls pondered the matter.

'_This'll be a good chance to get to know Hayate better!'_, Moka thought.

_'If I can get him used to me being in his personal space, we can jump-start his _actual_ education'_, Kurumu imagined with a flushed expression.

'_Working on a newspaper again might__ be fun'_, our oblivious young man thought to himself. _'I wonder what the deadlines will be like?'_

"I don't see why we couldn't give it a go.. Sure, sign me up, Nekonome-sensei", Hayate affirmed.

"Excellent-nya~!"

"I'll sign up too", Moka offered shyly.

"If Hayate's signing on, I will too!", the exuberant succubus declared.

"Wonderful! We meet next week on Monday after school." With that the happy cat woman sauntered off down the hall, tail lazily whipping back and forth. The sound of 'nya-nya-nya-, nya~!' faded into the distance.

Moka turned to both of the others to say something then eyed Hayate's new outfit strangely.

"Hayate... what happened to your uniform?", she asked quietly.

"Oh! Eh he he he..." The blue-haired boy had the presence of mind to scratch the back of his neck bashfully. "That's something I forgot to mention earlier. As of today, I am now the Chief Steward of one of the Academy's Guest Houses. It's the size of a small manor, really, but still respectable."

"Chief Steward?" Kurumu looked a bit confused, so he explained further.

"A Chief Steward is basically the majordomo of a manor or castle for the Lord or Lady while they're away. A sort of Head Butler, if that helps." The pink-headed girl gave a start at this.

"Hayate? Could you do me a favor and pull my Rosario off?" She was literally begging with tears at the corner of her eyes.

Concerned, Hayate asked her, "Will your Other Self attack either of us if I do that, Moka-san?"

Shaking her head vehemently, she said, "No. she just has to do something urgent. I don't think she'll hurt either of you right now."

Deciding to trust the pinkette's word, given her sincerity, he walked forward and grabbed hold of the silver crucifix from where it hung on her chest. The red gem winked in the fading afternoon light. Using only minimal effort, Hayate yanked the cross from its chain with a soft ***clink!***.

Vast dark energies filled the air with an oppressive aura. The pink hair flashed into pure silver, the eyes flickered from their usual sparkling green to a blood-red cat's eye, and the fangs became more pronounced. What as once meek stood confidently... what was one weak stood unbelievably strong.

This was the power and presence of the legendary S-Ranked Monster... the True Vampire!

Giving the busty succubus a menacing glare, the Silver-haired Moka turned to the astonished butler. _**"I have business to attend to. I'll meet up with you later... Hayate." **_Grabbing the Rosario from the nonplussed boy's hand her slitted eyes met his for a moment before she turned about on her heel and walked gracefully away.

Unsure what to say at the moment, Hayate turned to the other girl present for an explanation. Her unspoken message was _'don't ask me, your guess is as good as mine'_.

* * *

><p>"Wow, Hayate-kun! This place is great!", Kurumu enthused as she walked into the foyer of the Main Guest House. And it was.<p>

Someone had gone to the time and expense of moving a Western Style mansion, with about fifty rooms, twenty of those bedrooms (including those for staff), into the area under the Great Barrier near the school. The outside of the building carried the same creepy atmosphere that the school and dorms did, but the grounds were fairly extensive, on about twenty-five ares of land. The other Guest Houses were more cottage sized, so this one wouldn't usually see much use. This was evident in the layers of dust coating everything that could be seen. Much like the Administration Building, the Main Hall had a double staircase leading up to the second floor.

"I'm going to have a lot of work to do tomorrow after school", Hayate sighed happily.

The two drifted into the Dining Room and Kitchens. Everything not covered with a drop cloth needed polishing or dusting. Cobwebs hung thickly in the corners of the rooms. The Kitchens were styled after the old Medieval fashion, with stone blocks where the stoves and ovens were. The only modern touches to the room was the huge walk-in refrigerator with a freezer at the very back of it, the large sink such as you'd find in a cafeteria or restaurant, and the scullery machine. A phone and intercom were installed near the back door leading to the Servant's Wing. The first shipment of houshold items, including foodstuffs, were in boxes just inside the door leading out into the manor's parking garage.

While the curious succubus looked on, Hayate put on an apron and was about to crack the first crate when the doorbell rang.

***Ding!~Dong~!***

Wondering who could it be at such a late hour, the bemused young man walked quickly into the Main Hall.

"One Moment~!", he called out cheerfully, approaching the foyer. Opening the front door , he and Kurumu were surprised to find none other than the Silver-haired Moka, seated atop a couple large suitcases.

_**"You're **_**late**_**, Hayate. I've been waiting two minutes from when I first rang the bell. Was the first day back as a butler too much for you?" **_ She raised a silver eyebrow.

"M-Moka-san... what are you doing here... without your Rosario on?", the usually happy-go-lucky boy asked, pointing and sputtering.

Tossing her luxuriant argent hair back behind her shoulders, the red-eyed vampire smiled. _**"I asked my Father to speak on my behalf to the School Headmaster to allow me to live here for the entirety of my student life, as befits a person of my station and upbringing. I am now a resident of this house, and **_**your**_** Noble Master, Hayate."**_ So saying, she got up off her baggage, and put out her hand, palm down.

***Thump!***

The whole day had been filled with moments like this. He'd dealt with them all in one fashion or another, but this was the one that finally sent Hayate's brain's Operating System crashing down.

_'Thus does it start'_, the silver-haired vampire thinks, smirking victoriously at the frantic blunette as she tried resuscitating Hayate.

* * *

><p><span>Author's Note<span>:

*- otherwise referred to as soccer.

I had originally had another idea regarding Hayate's as-yet unexplained powers, but nothing worked out when I ran scenarios in my head. So I just let my mind take me where it will, and it didn't disappoint. There's a lot more to the story (quite possibly beyond the scope of this current story itself!) regarding why Hayate turned out the way he did... that'll come up in later chapters, so don't fret it, Dear Readers.

Those of you who may think Moka's replacing Nagi, shame on you! Nagi is one of the lynchpins of the _Hayate no Gotoku_ universe... why would I write her out completely? Just because she hasn't made an appearance yet does not mean she doesn't exist. It's just that her role's changed a bit, and her time on the stage hasn't come yet. The same could be said for Tsukune. He exists elsewhere in the _Rosario + Vampire_ universe, so you can guess where I'm going by saying this... _

Patience: It's not just for doctors and saints anymore.

And now my extended hiatus starts, sadly. I'll be gone for a week or two from home, so all of you take care, and be safe yourselves. ^_^

This is the Priest, signing off.


	5. The Vampire is a Harsh Mistress

**Disclaimer:**** Not only do I not own this or any other property associated with either ****_Hayate no Gotoku_ or _Rosario + Vampire_, but I make nothing from doing any of this.**

The song _I Don't Want To Be_ was originally written and performed by Gavin DeGraw. I thought with Hayate's situation and his mindset it fit.

-: quotes for telepathic communication.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 5: The Vampire is a Harsh Mistress.<span>

_While the curious succubus looked on, Hayate put on an apron and was about to crack the first crate when the doorbell rang._

_***Ding!~Dong~!***_

_Wondering who could it be at such a late hour, the bemused young man walked quickly into the Main Hall._

_"One Moment~!", he called out cheerfully, approaching the foyer. Opening the front door , he and Kurumu were surprised to find none other than the Silver-haired Moka, seated atop a couple large suitcases. _

**"You're **_**late**_**, Hayate. I've been waiting two minutes from when I first rang the bell. Was the first day back as a butler too much for you?"**_ She raised a silver eyebrow._

_"M-Moka-san... what are you doing here... without your Rosario on?", the usually happy-go-lucky boy asked, pointing and sputtering._

_Tossing her luxuriant argent hair back behind her shoulders, the red-eyed vampire smiled. _**"I asked my Father to speak on my behalf to the School Headmaster to allow me to live here for the entirety of my student life, as befits a person of my station and upbringing. I am now a resident of this house, and **_**your**_** Noble Master, Hayate."**_ So saying, she got up off her baggage, and put out her hand, palm down. _

_***Thump!***_

_The whole day had been filled with moments like this. He'd dealt with them all in one fashion or another, but this was the one that finally sent Hayate's brain's Operating System crashing down. _

_'Thus does it start', the silver-haired vampire thinks, smirking victoriously at the frantic blunette as she tried resuscitating Hayate._

* * *

><p>Sunday had dawned spectacularly. Well, as spectacularly as anything could under the Barrier spawned by the Three Great Hades Lords at any rate. Shafts of reddish-orange light pierced the slate grey clouds which had hung over the surrounding countryside the past few days. A blue bird chirped its early morning song of greeting right up until a large reptile on a nearby branch shot out its extremely long tongue and snared it. Feathers drifted to the ground as the large monitor lizard worked its powerful jaws, breaking bones and flattening out its morning repast.<p>

The newly installed head butler was just putting the finishing touches on the outdoor sweeping. Mornings were one of his favorite times of day. The quiet as the world awoke, stretching its metaphorical arms... the gentle breezes which brought to you the smells and sounds of the abundant life all around... the hungry man-eating plants which lay underfoot, ready to devour the unwary...

Sweatdropping, the blue-haired butler thought about where he'd have to to go to research Youkai methods of landscaping before needing to replace another outfit. Yesterday's effort to tackle the monumental task of taming the Lawn had been less than exemplary. He'd never be able to look at garden gnomes quite the same way again. The little bastards had been _merciless_.

Putting away the broom and rake he'd used to sweep the outdoor area near the house, Hayate made his way in to start breakfast. Thankfully, Moka seemed to not be a morning person, so it gave him some peace and quiet with which to attend to his other duties. And since Kurumu didn't usually show up that early, even better. _ Especially_ since last Thursday's epic campus-wide fiasco, which had fortunately been forgotten by the vast majority of its victims. If only _he_ could forget. Now, every day since, the energetic succubus hadn't been one to miss any opportunity to keep up the pressure, invading his personal space whenever the opportunity to do so presented itself. Something to do with 'Bonding' and 'Skinship'. Hayate gave a full body shiver.

The girls he'd known back in Tokyo had _never_ been quite as forward as the girls in this school had proven themselves to be. Even the Moka with her Rosario _on_ was a bit of a handful at times! At least this new Moka, who preferred to be called Moka-_Ojousama_ was a lot more reserved. Now, if only she'd lose the misconception that he was somehow employed by her and expected to cater to her every whim, including giving up his blood. Duty was duty, but whatever was his body's was _his_. Things could end up working out well, but there would certainly be bruised egos, toes, and bodies before all was said and done. _'I'll make sure the first aid kits are fully stocked before the day is out, just in case'_, Hayate thought, nodding to himself.

The Main Guest House, along with the much smaller cottage-sized guest houses, were out in the woods surrounding the School Campus proper. He hadn't been told the smaller houses were his responsibility to take care of, but knowing the arbitrary nature of Headmaster Mikogami it was likely to come up in the future.

_'But'_, Hayate reminded himself,_ 'first things first: breakfast, and then some morning training before the rest of the day's chores.'_

Putting on an apron left hanging in the pantry, he got out some eggs, some salad greens to be washed and cut up, some bacon, and a few blood packs to be thawed out for Moka's use. Grabbing some carrots from the crisper in the walk-in fridge as well as some peppers, Hayate saw some soy sauce and onions on the shelf and switched to the hand basket kept at the side of the room. Hands and basket full, the butler kicked the fridge door shut and then started his food prep work. While he was chopping, cutting, and slicing Hayate sang one of the songs he'd picked up at the bar he'd worked in which had served the American G.I.s.

_I don't want to be  
>Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately<br>All I have to do  
>Is think of me and I have peace of mind<br>I'm tired of looking 'round rooms  
>Wondering what I've got to do<br>Or who I'm supposed to be  
>I don't want to be anything other than me.<em>

It would've been better to have a piano close to hand to play in accompaniment to the music, but whatever. It felt good to express his contentment with having something stable to fall back on. While the biscuits and tea water was getting ready to be done, Hayate set the table for three. It was almost a sure bet that Kurumu would be around at some point to play. She wasn't a morning person apparently. And although Moka-Ojousama deemed it inappropriate for servants and masters to eat at the same table (a sentiment that Hayate actually _agreed_ with, for once), she also made it plain that she disliked having an empty room with just him hanging over her shoulder for anything she might need.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Flashback*<strong>_

**"Not that I like seeing servants taking such liberties, Hayate, but since it's just us two here right now I wouldn't mind the company at the table... for purposes of holding discussions of course"**_, Ojousama had said, her cheeks a bit colored as she explained her reasoning._

_"Of course, Ojousama", I had said smiling in relief, "You needn't worry about me overstepping the boundaries of our Master/Servant relationship. It has bean years since I last served, but I am not one to let personal feelings keep me from performing my duties to the best of my abilities."_

_For some reason the tension she'd been radiating all evening suddenly melted away like ice in the Sahara Desert. Her blood-red slitted eyes locked onto mine just before an almost imperceptible nod made itself known._

**"Very well. I usually bathe first thing in the morning after waking up, so make certain to get the water ready with the herbal tablets I showed you earlier, Hayate. I will also need your help washing my back and hair, so **_**do**_** get over any embarrassment you might feel at seeing me nude beforehand."**_ I gulped, hoping she wouldn't notice. she went on _"**From the time we leave the house up until we reach the school gates you will maintain your position behind me and to my left. At school, I will be switching with my other self, so you'll need to keep an eye out for her through the course of the day. Any questions, Hayate?"**_ Moka raised a silver eyebrow at me. At my head shake she nodded in satisfaction._

**"If any come up, ask. The only stupid questions are the ones you **_**don't**_** ask. I do not see you being so foolish as to just bull ahead. Well"**_, and here she yawned into her hand, _**"it is time I retired for the evening." **_ I helped her to her room, guiding her along the halls._

_"Will that be all for tonight, Moka-Ojousama?" I asked politely._

**"Yes, Hayate. Good Night."**_ Moka yawned once again and entered her rooms._

_I blinked once. Twice._

_Where had she left her Rosario this entire time?_

_***Flashback End***_

* * *

><p>What a strange Mistress he got himself saddled with. Hearing the large kettle's whistle starting to go off, Hayate wandered into the kitchens to turn it off and check the biscuits.<p>

"Perfectly done!", he exclaimed to himself.

***Ding-Dong~!***

Setting the biscuits on the rack to cool, he headed off to see who it was. _ 'Kurumu's here quite early'_, he thought. _ 'It's barely Seven AM.'_

Opening the front door, he was surprised to find... no one. Nothing except a pile of cracked ice. Scratching his head in confusion, Hayate closed the front door. Only to have it ring again when he'd gotten halfway across the front hall. Throwing open the front door again, he got the same result as the first time, the pile of ice even deeper.

"I'll have to figure out who delivers the ice around here and thank them", he shrugged and smiled, picking up as much of the ice in his arms as he could before kicking the door shut behind him. Going as fast as possible to stick the ice in the freezer to keep cold, Hayate missed the face which appeared at the window near the foyer looking in.

Sighing in frustration, the snow girl wondered if he was just being dense on purpose. _ 'After three days of this you'd _think_ he'd catch on'_, Mizore thought to herself. Breathing out a frigid puff of air, she froze the pane of glass she was standing in front of and wrote 'Idiot' on it, so anyone looking at the window from the inside would see it. Of course, if she could she'd put the word 'Idiot' on her own forehead for not being able to stay in front of the door when he opened it. _'Oh well... there's always tomorrow'_, she told herself positively and left the manor grounds.

Having dumped the ice in the basin he'd found in the pantry and placed in the freezer, Hayate finished setting the table up with the food-laden plates and bowls. He'd use that batch of ice like the others and make homemade ice cream. Moka in particular seemed to like his coffee-flavored chocolate ice cream a lot, while Kurumu ran more towards Rocky Road. Yes Sir, those skills earned working in that ice cream parlor, Death By Chocolate, down by Ikebukuro Station had been well worth it and were paying off in spades now.

The intercom rang, so Hayate went to answer it. A sleep-crusted voice greeted his:

_**"Hayate. Bathroom. Now." **_Moka sounded anything but cheerful this morning. And by the sounds of it her Rosario was off too. _Wonderful._

"But, Ojousama, I've just finished setting the table for...", he tried explaining, but she would have none of it.

_**"Either you set a World Record coming up **_**here****_, or I'll set a World Record for Distance Kicking you out to the lawn."_**

"No need for threats of physical harm, Ojousama", Hayate said, sweatdropping a little holding a bath towel in his hands as he opened the bathroom door on the 2nd floor before the peeved argent-haired beauty could take her finger off the bathroom intercom send button. "I was just checking so I could inform you breakfast would be cold if you bathed now."

Standing in her red flannel pajamas, the silver-haired Moka looked at him both crossly and sheepishly... an interesting combination.

_**"Never mind making a place for me at the table, Hayate. Bring me up something to eat after I've bathed. I'm in no mood today for visitors or conversation."**_ A tenseness was written on her face which he'd never seen before. Hayate couldn't place his finger on it, but he'd only seen a similar event once, and that was a long time ago when his mother had been sick for some reason and bothered father for odd things to eat or yelled at his father a lot. His father mumbled something about 'the Crimson Tide finally coming in'. Were vampires also susceptible to those things? _'Gods Above _or_ Below, I hope not!'_, he prayed.

"Yes, Moka-Ojousama. Any preferences as to your food?" the blue-haired butler asked politely.

_**"Blood, Hayate... lots of it. And some of that ice cream you made the other day too. Also see if there are any graham crackers and add that with the ice cream."**_

She started shucking her night clothes off and took her seat on one of the stools in the bathroom attached to her suite of rooms.

"Very well, Ojousama. Let me assist you", Hayate offered. No such luck. Vampire girls were the same as girls anywhere in the Human World. He started with her hair, using her favorite shampoo first and worked it from there.

"It would seem, Ojousama, that the Garden Gnomes are revolting", the cyan-headed manservant chatted idly. The little bastards were often yelling stuff about a renegotiated contract or something. Che Guevara and his guerrillas had _nothing_ on these guys.

Moka opened one eye while he worked to rinse the shampoo from her shimmering argentine tresses. _**"They're quite ugly, brutish creatures as well... hmm. As one of the Human heads of state was once heard to say, 'let them eat cake'"**_, she quoted, smirking toothily.

Shaking his head tiredly, Hayate corrected her. "They'll eat cake alright... along with the hand which passes it out. I suppose I'll be investing in a flamethrower before long." He sighed while starting with the conditioner next, some kind of strawberry-kiwi women's mixture.

* * *

><p>'<em>Now I've gotta figure out how to avoid the landmines she's laying down hormonally',<em> Hayate thought to himself while dusting some shelves in the 2nd Floor Recreation Room. Board games of different types were featured for the diversion of guests who stayed in the House. Many modern games such as Life and Sorry!, in addition to old favorites like Scrabble, Monopoly, or even older standbys such as Go or Chess. The blue-headed butler missed the old style Japanese Tatami rooms he'd been accustomed to living in at home, since they were simple enough to keep clean, but the House was filled to the rafters with Western Style furnishings and art. The place was almost a museum in itself with the amount of things that were prominently on display. Had there been no Dimensional Barrier keeping the environs hidden from outsiders, Hayate would be much more concerned about security for everything in the House. As it was, possibly he might be all the security it needed. He hoped so anyway.

Finishing the cleanup in the Rec Room, Hayate carried on into the hallway. All the windows in the House had been fitted with extra thick black curtains which he'd thrown open to let in the sunlight the first day the two of them had taken up residence in the place. The whole campus was gloomy enough in spots without the Guest House also following the same example. If a Guest _or_ Moka-Ojousama complained, well then, that would change.

"Next would be the other Guest Bedrooms to air out and clean before prepping for lunch", he said to himself ticking off the things he'd done one by one. A shadow flashed by a nearby window but by the time Hayate had looked it had gone. He narrowed his eyes at the set of windows where he'd seen it, but nothing else happened so he put it up to an overactive imagination. And his imagination _had _been becoming much more active in the last several days. Several nights of sheets needing cleaning before the smell set into the mattress of his bed in the Servant's Wing proved it.

_'But seriously, what the Hell is up with __**that**__, anyway?_', Hayate complained privately to himself. _'Did I suddenly hit some kind of second puberty or something? I mean sure, it was kind of erotic after the first day with just Moka-san in my dreams, but now Kurumu? And she's taken it further each consecutive night so far!'_ The blunette boy squirmed uncomfortably where he was. _'I shouldn't think of my only friends like that... it's rude and demeaning! They'd think I was nothing but a useless pervert.'_

_Try opening your mouth to Kurumu-chan about those dreams and see if she slaps you._

Going downstairs for more cleaning solvent and dust cloths, Hayate got annoyed. _ 'You only just pop up now... to badmouth _my_ sense of morality?'_ He huffed loudly.

_Look in the mirror and tell me and yourself you don't wanna bang her like a screen door in a typhoon. I'll call you a **liar, liar, pants on fire!** And you'd deserve **that** one for sure. _His other self crossed his nonexistent arms and looked very very smug.

_'I can't do that! She's a nice girl! She's been very nice in helping me get used to this school, along with Ojousama'_, the outraged blue-head protested internally.

_If by 'nice girl' you mean her shoving your head between those massive tits of hers every chance she can get, as well as planting them on your back so you can get the full effect without passing out, then yes I agree with you completely. She _is_ a '**very** nice girl'_, his other half nodded while leering.

"That's _not_ what I **meant**!", Hayate shouted out loud, having had enough at this display of crude behavior. His face was three shades of embarrassed.

"_What_ didn't you mean, Hayate?", came a slightly cross and somewhat concerned voice at the top of the stairs. One he hadn't heard since last Thursday afternoon.

Laughing weakly, Hayate wavered between telling her about the voice in his head or just keeping silent about it. _'She'd probably think I'm a nutjob.'_

"Nothi-... well, yes, it's _something_, but I'm not comfortable saying anything about it right now", he eventually compromised on, remembering what happened the last time he'd lied to the pink-haired debutante. Hayate ran his hand across the back of his head, hair almost as frazzled as his nerves.

Still unsure, Moka offered, "If you change your mind Hayate-kun, my door is always open to you if you want to just talk." She turned a bit cross again. "Ura-chan left me with the body, not having the stomach to deal with this right now. But... thank you for the ice cream, Hayate-kun. It was good, even though I prefer strawberry over chocolate myself. Could you maybe make me some strawberry ice cream in addition to what you make for Ura-chan, Hayate? I'd love you _sooo_ much for that", she said blushing.

An easy smile crossed Hayate's face. "Sure, Moka-Ojousama." _ 'Ura-chan?... That's right! She knows what it's like to have another personality. Maybe she _could _help me with this'_, he considered again.

The blushing pinkette waved one hand back and forth quickly. "I told you Friday, Hayate-kun. It's just Moka. No Ojousama needed with me."

Shaking his head, the boy butler disagreed with her gently. "No Moka-Ojousama. Ojousama is _still_ Ojousama, no matter which _'she'_ she is. I'm sorry but I have to be clear on this", Hayate said sadly. "But I would like to talk to you after all, Ojousama. I _do_ have a problem which I think you might be able to relate to."

Looking like she might tear up, Moka brightened up considerably upon hearing his last statement. She went down the few stairs separating the two and dragged Hayate upstairs and into her rooms without much warning. The blue-haired servant was too nonplussed to speak in protest.

After retrieving a chair from Moka's sitting room, Hayate and Moka sat down in her boudoir. The remains of the morning's breakfast sat on the serving cart where he'd left it earlier on his way to do his rounds. She'd wiped out the ice cream and crackers, naturally, yet one of the blood packs remained untouched.

Having placed their chairs in front of Moka's dressing table with its mirror, Moka clapped her hands once together. She seemed to be in better spirits than earlier for some reason. "Okay, Hayate. What's wrong?" None of her actions betrayed any ulterior motives, she just seemed to be genuinely concerned over _his_ problem, enough to take time aside from _her_ own problems to help him solve. It brought a tear to the boy butler's eye. '_Such kindness does exist in the World'_, he thought to himself, a tear forming on the edge of one of his eyes, pooling rapidly and then spilling down his cheek. This alarmed the girl.

"Hayate? Hayate-kun! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Concern and confusion colored her words.

"To... to help me even when you have your own problems right now... thank you, Ojousama. Thank you!" Hayate clasped the pink-headed vampiress's hand in both of his slender yet rough ones and bent over them in gratitude.

Embarrassed anew, the girl stammered, "T-that's okay, Hayate-kun. Now, what's wrong? I can't help you if you don't tell me."

Wiping both of his eyes with his own handkerchief, Hayate thought of how best to start.

"I... have a voice inside my head that sometimes talks to me. It... sounds like me, only a bit older." Moka had been silent the entire time he'd been quieting down and deciding what to say, but she jumped a bit in her seat after hearing this.

"W-when... did you start hearing this voice, Hayate-kun?", she asked quietly.

Hayate tilted his head back a bit thinking with his arms crossed. "I think it was the first day of school... no... back after I had just gotten off the bus. When you and I ran into each other."

Both of them laughed weakly, sweatdropping and blushing slightly, remembering the event in their own separate ways.

'_Ura-chan! Ura-chan, wake up!'_, Moka shrieked internally at her Other Self.

_**'What.' **_ _Kansas_ had more mountains than the silver-haired Moka's inner vocal tone did just then.

_'Hayate just said he hears a voice in his head too!'_

_**'So? That just means he may be suffering a mental breakdown of some sort. Sad, but it does happen to servants on occasion. G'night',**_ her Inner Self closed a blood-red eye and rolled over.

Sputtering at the callousness of her other half, the pink-haired girl rallied herself with what she considered 'proof''.

_'Well, what about what you showed me regarding those glowing eyes Hayate had when we were attacked the second day?'_, Moka retorted, almost completely certain she could convince her stubborn other half.

_That_ got the silver-headed teenager's undivided attention. _**'Hold on... that was **_**him**_**?'**_ Shaking her head of what sleepiness she was feeling, she considered the matter further. _**'No, that's quite possible. We have no solid proof mind you, but it **_**is**_** a distinct possibility. But who would put a seal on him and why? Let me out. I want to speak to Hayate'**_, she demanded.

Moka fidgeted on her seat nervously. "Hayate? My Other Self wishes to talk to you. Could you remove the Rosario, please?" At the blunette boy's acquiescence, she let out a breath she'd been holding in a relieved sigh.

***Clink!***

The bedroom flooded with the same oppressive energy that it had at the school last Thursday afternoon. Moka's hair turned silver, her irises became as blood with cat slits in them, and her body filled out her pink silk bathrobe and matching chemise much more enticingly.

_**"Now, Hayate, answer me carefully"**_, the silver-headed girl started saying while crossing one shapely leg over the other, **_"Ask this other 'voice' if there is a seal."_**

Blinking his blue eyes rapidly, Hayate turned his attention inward once more.

_'Is there a seal inside me?'_, he asked uncertainly.

_**YES!**__ For the Love of Lilith, yes!_ His inner self appeared to be crying tears of joy at someone _finally_ being able to put two and two together.

Paying attention to the outside world again, Hayate nodded emphatically. "It's odd but he's... crying. He's happy."

Choosing her next words carefully, Moka enunciated slowly, _**"Okay, Hayate. Now, this is **_**very**_**important. I want you to relinquish control of the body to **_**him**_**."**_

Shocked terribly, with more than a little terror apparent, Hayate waffled. "Ojousama! I can't! He's a base pervert! Most of what he says is coarse but true, but some of his suggestions concerning yourself and Kurumu-san... I won't repeat them." He shook his head emphatically again. "I don't know what he'd do if he were loose."

From the dark recesses of Hayate's soul came a growling roar. _Oh, _c'mon_ you whiny scared little prick... I'm _trying_ to help us **BOTH** here! Work with me! _His other self pulled imaginary handfuls of his own hair out in frustration.

Turning his head to the mirror, Hayate was surprised to see another, a bit older, face staring at him in aggravation. It firmed much more the longer he stared. He unleashed vituperation on his other half.

"You're a threat to us and every member of the female gender here at Youkai! Why the _fuck_ would I unleash you on an unsuspecting student body, huh?"

Moka jumped at hearing this new crudeness in the previously polite blue-headed boy's speech. She took a look at what he was yelling at and was shocked to see a ghostly... _something_... superimposed over the boy butler's image in the mirror, getting stronger and better defined the longer she looked. It... no, _he_... looked like Hayate, only slightly older and less naive-appearing.

_**'Is this his hidden potential with illusions and charm working subconsciously? If so, that's fine'**_, she mused to herself. She then turned Hayate around to face her without moving much in her present position. _**"Hayate, do you trust me?"**_, Moka asked quietly yet firmly.

He thought back to all the times he'd had to deal with this Moka. Not once had she ever stolen a drop of blood from him, even while he'd been unconscious after the Saizou Incident. Oh, she'd _tried_ to browbeat him into letting her drink from him, but she'd honored the request he'd made to her this morning and accepted the blood packs as a substitute for the real thing with good grace. Where the other pink-headed Moka had been sneaky, using her cuteness to get close enough to bite him, _this_ Moka had been forthright and honorable. That alone gave her a _lot _more respect in his eyes. Nervous, Hayate nodded to her.

"I-I do, Ojousama. I don't trust _him_, but I do trust _you_."

In the same quiet voice she asked with a raised eyebrow, _**"And knowing how I handle any over-****amorous males as you have seen me do, do you think me incapable of dealing him?" **_

Shaking his unruly cyan hair about in negation, our would-be hero demurred. "N-no... no, I think you'd have no trouble with him, Ojousama. But...", and at this his eyes gained a tearful expression. "... but anything you do to him _I_ would have to live with afterward, so I plead you show some restraint, Moka-Ojousama. Please!" Hayate shook like a leaf.

Her somewhat good mood at having her fangs in the mystery which had piqued her interest since first awakening at Youkai Academy diminished a little, Moka grumbled a bit.

_**"Fine, Hayate. So... let him take control already"**_, she pushed him a bit, figuratively speaking.

Hayate was stuck between the proverbial Rock and a Hard Place. On one side was his demanding, exacting, domineering Mistress (for training purposes while at school) and on the other his crude, mischievous, and horny Inner Self. There was no other way around it. He decided to commend his soul to Whomever would have it and leave the rest up to Luck... which in his case could mean anything. Usually _really_ bad or awkward. Or both. Who was he kidding? He was screwed nine ways to nowhere.

Relaxing as he sat back in the chair facing Moka, Hayate lowered his head as he turned inward.

_'You can have the body, but behave yourself please'_, he murmured on his way down into the shadows.

_Don't sweat it so much. You'll go bald prematurely_, his older-seeming self chuckled, clapping a hand on his shoulder in passing. _Just you lay back, relax, and watch the magic happen. _

Somehow those words did little to reassure Hayate, confident though they sounded. He could do little else, so he just let himself float down into the inner aether from which his other self had sprang. It was hard to tell when he stopped moving here in the featureless void, but if he craned his head back a bit Hayate could just make out the moving shapes of the Outside World along with sound if he listened carefully. It was kind of like looking through a keyhole if the one doing the looking was in a closed lightless closet... naked. The void wasn't cold or uncomfortable... far from it. If you've ever been wrapped up in a thick blanket or comforter by your mother on a cold night, you will know how Hayate felt at that very moment. Safe. Warm. Protected. Loved. Sensations the ignored, shunned, or neglected boy had never known in the Ayasaki Household. No. That wasn't quite true, was it?

'_Nii-san'_, the drowsing boy murmured into the void. Big Brother had been there at times, and only at those times had he felt like he mattered, that he was loved or worthy of love. This was similar, yet also different somehow.

A lullaby, crooned by an unseen rich and dulcet feminine voice, soon echoed faintly in the background. Hayate felt he _should_ know this person... there was an image which slipped from his fading thought processes like quicksilver. _'It doesn't matter'_, he finally decided. _'I am loved by this person, whoever she is.' _It was only while he was on the edge of sleep that he had a name to put to this person.

_'Okaa-san.' _

Eyes closing, the tears which had been building flowed in a single stream down either side of his face... and fell off into the void. The concomitant ***plish!* **which echoed through the void softly did little to drown out the lullaby.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Meanwhile...<strong>_

The silver-headed Moka wasn't quite sure what to expect out of this encounter, but she was as ready as she was ever going to be to meet this new Hayate. She didn't have to wait long.

A blast of energy rippled out, filling the bedroom with the heady yet pleasant musk of an animal in rut. The strength of the energy was almost as impressive as her own whenever she emerged, but was a bit more subtle... cloyingly so. The blunette's head was still turned down towards the carpeted floor, his bangs hiding his eyes.

_**"... Hayate?"**_, Moka asked hesitantly. She was about to reach out a hand to check his face which was hidden by hair that had covered his eyes and part of his nose when a sudden movement, as if by a puppeteer's string, caused the head to tilt back to face her. His eyes were a much darker blue, but they weren't quite as wide open or endearing like the boy she knew.

"So _close_, honey, but no cigar", he answered with a deep rich chuckle. His face oozed good cheer. Stretching his limbs and yawning mightily, he said, "Finally! After,what... whoa! E-Eleven, twelve years! That long", he sighed deeply. Holding his face with one hand, Hayate(?) muttered, more to himself than to anyone else in the room, "Mama, you said this would only be for a little while, until the Bad People went away for good."

Despite his irreverent attitude towards her, Moka couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for the young man in front of her. To be locked away behind a seal made from life energy for so long was incomprehensible to her. What would it take to make a mother do such a thing to her own son? '_**Maybe the same reason... or one similar... from why my own mother did so?'**_, she mused internally to herself.

Remembering where she was and with who, she cleared her throat. _**"I'm sorry to interrupt you but I didn't invite you out just to attend a pity party. I have questions you may be able to answer, and unfortunately there are only so many hours in a day."**_

Most of his former good cheer blown off by the realization of how long it's been since his last direct connection to the Real World, Hayate(?) lost the rest of it as he retorted, "Man, you're really just a cold-hearted bitch, aren't you? A guy with such devastating good looks as me... _me!_... who makes the angels weep with longing, and artists the world over have the strong desire to gouge their own eyes out with a rusty fucking spoon that they'll _never_ behold such a thing as myself again in their lives... wakes from a long dark nightmare of how life has been over the past 12 years without his _real_ family, and this is how you react? Out-_fucking_-standing. My own mother, father, and older brother may be dead and in shallow unmarked graves somewhere and you blow it off as if it was nothing and kick me in the fucking head a couple of times for good measure. Makes me _glad_ that my scared virgin half didn't try making any moves on you earlier. I'd hate like hell for him to suffer from hypothermia of the genitalia so severe he'd need to be gelded for frostbite!" The venom in his sarcasm got more thick and deadly as he went on his rant.

As much as she _wanted_ to kick his head in he'd made a valid point, crudity and disrespect notwithstanding. She _had_ opened her mouth and let her own ingrained disregard for lesser beings get the better of her at a moment when she'd been wanting answers, plus made careless scars on him who appeared to already have more mental scars than anyone should really ever have. However, she wasn't about to admit that to this person before her. No, never. Showing weakness in front of someone, even if not exactly an enemy, was unforgivable. _That_ had been hammered home with fists and feet by her elder sisters enough times back when she had lived with them. And even though he never raised a hand against her, her Lord Father had never been one to spare the rod to any of his daughters, even if by proxy. The lessons learned had been harsh and unforgiving, but such was the world she'd been born into. The World of the Vampire.

Collecting herself, Moka tried again to get some kind of meaningful dialogue going between her and this side of Hayate. She wasn't about to let his disrespect go though.

_**"It would seem that we both got off on the wrong foot just now, which is regrettable, but I think you need lessons in how to treat a lady"**_, the silver-headed teenager pointed out in a barely calm voice.

"Whoa, whoa, wait... you want me to apologize and bow and scrape to you? Fine. Do something to earn that respect _first_, you goose-stepping cunt. As far as I'm concerned the whole lot of you feudal fascist vampires can go fuck yourselves with a razor wire dildo, 'cuz _I'm_ not touching any of you... especially _you_... with a stolen dead man's dick. I'm not a doormat, unlike my poor air-headed self, who seems to be a masochist in how he just takes what the Universe at large dumps on him. Un-uh. Not happening." The blue-headed young man kicked his chair back further from the steaming vampiress. "I'm about one step from just flipping you the Bird and saying so long, because I don't think we'd work well together at this point, honey." His expression showed boredom, irritation, and impatience.

From outside one of the windows both could hear an enthusiastic 'Yahoo-hoo!', immediately followed by a loud scream and crashing noise. Snarls and growling started up thereafter, along with much cursing and yelling, much of it incoherent to the two in the room. Moka got up from her chair, very much aware of the eyes behind her. She opened the window from where they'd both heard the sounds and looked down. At first nothing could be seen but for the movement in the bushes and undergrowth of the man-eating plants on this side of the House, until she caught the sight of light blue hair moving in a direction which would get it out of the perimeter of the House's living defenses much more rapidly. Smiling with deep satisfaction, Moka closed the windows again, feeling the rightness of the universe in this act of karma. She retook her seat in front of this other Hayate and recrossed her legs.

Eying her with more than just lust, the cyan-headed boy quipped, "Okay, sweetness. What gives with the shit-eating grin?" _'As if I didn't know already'_, he thought privately to himself with a chuckle. Big, Blue, and Beautiful was going to have some serious slashes and cuts from those bastards afterward.

_**"Well, if you must know"**_, Moka said, eying him carefully, _**"our little eavesdropper should be learning her lesson against such practices right about now."**_ She cleared her throat. _**"As I was saying before, I **_**may**_** have started off on the wrong foot with you earlier. That was not my intention. If you could see your way clear to, ah, look past that introduction as if it never happened and start anew I'll be more than happy to turn a deaf ear and eye to any and all of your past words and slights upon my person and heritage."**_ She lowered her head a bit and then looked directly at him with those arresting crimson eyes and waited for his answer.

_'I think that's the best apology I can expect out of this chick'_, the put-out boy thought. He sucked what moisture he had in his mouth through his teeth.

"See, here's the thing: I can forget the whole thing, I'm just not gonna forgive so easily. It's possible to earn forgiveness, but for you it won't be easy." Hayate's eyes assumed a half-lidded appearance.

_**"And what, pray tell, would it take to earn your... 'forgiveness'?"**_, she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well", he began, "I've always heard a good tumble in the sheets is good for whatever ails you." By this time Hayate(?) had somehow, without her being aware of it, had taken to his knee in front of her chair and was holding her left hand gently, stroking the back of her hand in a circular motion with his pointer and middle fingers. He had a small expectant smile on his face and his eyes practically smoldered with need and want, holding the vampiress's own with no form of compulsion on his part.

Smiling with plenty of pearly white fang, Moka's eyes danced with amusement. _**"Whatever happened to... how did you put it?... never touching me with a, and I quote: 'stolen dead man's dick'?"**_

Gamely, the blunette incubus shrugged. "Like I said, the whole thing's forgotten. The rest is up to you in how it will go from here on, cupcake." Hayate(?) returned to his seat and sprawled himself out, arms and legs akimbo. "So, why did you call me out here, Princess? It wasn't for my charming wit and company."

The argent-headed vampiress smiled and nodded. _** "True.."**_ At the other's mock wounded expression her smile grew wider still. _**"You have me at a disadvantage knowing my name. By what name should I call **_**you**_**?"**_

The cyan-haired boy gave her another half-lidded stare. "Well, even though it's the name those two assholes saddled me with when they adopted me, you _could_ still call me 'Hayate'. Calling their new son 'gust of wind' because they wanted him to be able to outrun debt collectors... what kind of fucked up people do that to a child?" He sighed. "It's been so long, I've almost forgotten my original name. Shoujiro."

_**"Shoujiro..."**_ Moka tasted the name on her tongue and rolled it around like aged brandy. _** "Written in Kanji as 'Soaring Second Son'?"**_, she asked, raising a silver eyebrow.

"I wouldn't know. I wasn't the one attending school for ten years or so, Moka." Shoujiro shrugged. A smile crossed his face briefly. "Looks like the kid is finally starting to doze off. Took him a while." A pained expression made itself known briefly before disappearing. "How can people who swear to take care of a child do those kinds of things, knowing the kinds of pain they'll cause him? How can parents like that exist in this world? Ask yourself that, Moka, and then get back to me when you have some answers of your own to give." He wiped a tear from his eye.

_**"What is it, Shoujiro? What's wrong?"**_ Moka softened her voice a bit.

"It's nothing _you_ can help me with, Moka-_Ojousama_", The blunette answered, getting up from his chair. "I'm going to go somewhere to blow off some steam until the kid wakes back up, if ever. If he doesn't wake up, I guess you'll be foraging for your supper or going to the school cafeteria for it. Ciao!" Shoujiro gave a jaunty salute to the nonplussed vampiress and walked to the bedroom door to leave.

_**"Wait! Where are you going? You have a job here to do, don't you?" **_She stood up from her chair marshaling all her dignity and gravitas.

"_Nooo_. _'He'_ has a job here, not me. Anyway, don't frown so much, you'll develop lines early." He closed the bedroom door behind him. A few seconds later a vase with fresh flowers followed, shattering it and spreading the contents in a wet mess all over the door and floor.

_**'I take back anything nice I had thought about him. He's a cad and ungentlemanly'**_, Silver Moka thought furiously while scowling viciously at the departed incubus.

_'And yet he's the first to get you that riled up, isn't he? He's what Hayate would have _almost_ been like if he'd been raised differently'_, her pink-haired outer self put in.

This was quite over her head. She'd need a psychology or counseling expert to help out with this matter. But if that's what it took, then so be it. Akashiya Moka did _not_ back down from a challenge, and this puzzle that'd landed in her lap would be drained of all mystery until she was satisfied.

* * *

><p>Pulling thorns from her clothes, Kurumu winced. Those hanabake plants needed a good trimming in the back of the House. The little damage she'd done to the ones in her path hadn't been sufficient. Whoever heard of placing such plants so close to a house anyway? Suppose a resident fell into the patch?<p>

Anyway her little spying and prying expedition had such good success today. Hayate was planning on dropping this job working with the vampire slut as a live-in butler. Lucky! But what had happened to his voice? And what was with the gutter talk from him all of a sudden? He was using completely different body language too. It was like he was a totally different person. Except for the swearing, it was a nice change. He had the confidence he'd lacked earlier.

_'I'm not sure I like the new attitude though. I think I prefer the sweet, personable Hayate to this one'_, the blue-headed succubus thought while making sure she'd gotten all the spots the monster flowers had tagged her. She'd have to change her clothes. Both the skirt and sweater sported large slashes in them, and her legwarmers were trashed. Lunch at the cafeteria was looking worse and worse given her present condition. Maybe Hayate would be able to fix something up for them both? She still couldn't believe a guy their age could make such incredible meals with such simple ingredients. Not to mention the fact that he could clean, sew, make homemade ice cream, and bake some of the best damn cookies she'd ever had! It _almost_ made her question her own femininity... or his masculinity. Maybe when she'd gotten to behold the Promised Land she would hammer the final nail in that coffin... among other things.

Shaking her head to clear it of the pink fuzzy erotic images that were threatening to distract her, Kurumu walked to the Guest Houses front door and rang the bell. A few minutes later a voice called out behind the door. "Cash, check, or charge?"

Blinking, she answered, "Charge?" At which point the front door opened. And there stood our butler-in-residence, already looking like the day had been too long. He leaned against the opened door with both arms folded over his chest.

"Then I guess I have to open up. We only have the one door. 'Charge!'... get it?" 'Hayate' sighed. "I know... bad joke. C'mon in, Kurumu-chan, before our neighbors ask what the going rate is."

Pouting at him, Kurumu retorted, "What neighbors, Hayate-kun? You two are the only ones around here for a mile." She strolled past him into the foyer.

The blue-haired butler closed the door and turned to her. "I know... peaceful, ain't it?" 'Hayate' gave her a long look up and down from head to toe. "Anyway I thought the grunge valley look was out. You look like you were dragged into the bushes, beaten, raped, left for dead... _and enjoyed it_." He pantomimed wiping the corner of his mouth. "You have drool on your lip, hun."

Looking into the Foyer's wall mirror Kurumu was shocked to see he was right. Hurriedly wiping the traces of saliva off, she was even more surprised when she felt him press into her from behind.

"You know", he said huskily into her ear, causing her knees to weaken and her breath to catch a bit, "you look really disreputable right now in those clothes. I could help you pick out a loaner from Moka... _or_ we could go over to your room and I'll help you pick something out for the rest of the day..." He noted with dry amusement that she'd been subconsciously pressing back against him the entire time. Her grinding was having... the usual male response in him.

"Uh, Kurumu-chan? Lunch'll be over if we don't get a move on", he said.

"Why go out for lunch when you've already thoughtfully provided it, Hayate-kun?", Kurumu asked heatedly. Quicker than the incubus could currently fathom, she'd hooked his leg and sent them both to the carpeted floor. Spinning around mid-fall, her breasts absorbed much of the shock of landing on top of the suddenly off-kilter boy. From her perch on top of him, her bangs covered her eyes leaving them in shadow.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this kind of rise out of you, Hayate-kun? No other boy I've met has held out this long, and an incubus to boot! I almost doubted you even went for girls." She smiled a bit, her face still in its same position.

_'Good thing she seems to have forgotten making the little soldier stand at attention last week'_, Shoujiro thought with an internal sigh of relief. Wait, relief? Why would he feel relief about that? He _wanted_ to plow this bit of virgin field! The fact he was lacking in a lot... okay, _any_... experience in such plowing was the only thing holding him back really.

He'd missed the busty succubus's facial approach until it was barely an inch from his own. Her deep amethyst eyes glittered with unshed tears. Shoujiro knew that her powers of Allure wouldn't work on him, but _oh gods how beautiful her eyes were_. He opened his mouth to speak, which is the point when she chose to strike.

Kurumu's lips fastened over his, forming a semi-hermetic seal as she went to town with her tongue. The suddenness of the assault took him by surprise, yet his own tongue sought hers out in a kind of battlefield challenge. It was a gloriously wet give-and-take tonsil Take the Flag... no quarter given, and none received. By the time the duo's mouths had separated from each other, beads of saliva were making trails down both panting flushed faces.

Shoujiro's thoughts were scattered here and there about the room... kind of like the clothes of the rapidly undressing blunette succubus. _That_ brought him back into focus. Black bra and matching panties. _'How nice'_, he thought mildly. Shaking his head, he asked, "Kurumu-chan, what are you doing?" Inane question, but anything to slam on the brakes for now.

Paused in the act of unlatching her bra, she smiled. "You can't tell me you don't want this as much as I do, Hayate-kun. I can feel the Lust coming off of you in waves, as I'm sure you can feel mine doing."

Shoujiro noticed... and held one of her arms in a firm grip. "Then why are you trembling, Kurumu-chan? It's not all anticipation, is it?" He gave a small sad smile, his eyes piercing. His grip became gentle. "You're scared inside, aren't you? This isn't how you thought it'd be." His eyes softened. "I'm hardly an expert on this, but you're forcing yourself for some reason. Why?", Shoujiro asked gently.

Blinking the tears threatening to form from her eyes, Kurumu looked into the eyes of the nearly supine butler. "You're not Hayate, are you?" She got up from atop of him and started gathering her clothes together. "Who are you?" Her voice had a hard edge to it.

"And if I told you I _was_ Hayate, what then?", the boy in question arched a light blue eyebrow at the dressing blunette girl.

"That couldn't be possible. You act _nothing_ like him, now that I think about it", Kurumu said with a flatly disbelieving tone of voice.

"And yet you were all over me like a cheap suit the second you thought I _might_ have given in to my baser instincts. You noticed _nothing_ about me which was the same as Hayate? Or rather the Hayate you know?", Shoujiro asked in a lightly mocking tone.

Having finally put on the rest of her clothes, Kurumu stood with a finger to her lip in thought. "Aside from the way you speak or act, there's nothing different. You even _smell_ the same, and if anything that feel about you which is the same as the rest of our kind is stronger than usual." She looks over the butler in his slightly dusty uniform. "But how can I tell if you're not just some kind of really good mimic?"

"Well", Shoujiro drawled, "there _is_ a way... and let me start by saying there are some things you should _never_ go digging into: month-old gym clothes and someone's memories, unless you're prepared for it. Because both might take a while to sort through, but you might not find much to your liking when you're finished." He spread his hands in surrender. "Just a friendly warning if you're planning on going _that_ route to find out."

Kurumu's purple eyes lit up in recognition as she understood what method he'd been expounding the risks of. Using her tail, she could extract the memories of her targets. Unlike her mother who'd had years of experience in using that power she was a novice at best. Maybe she could ask for her help? That could take a while though. Permission to enter Chairman Mikogami's domain was not granted lightly or without need. There might be need, but not urgent need. For now nothing could be done. She'd still talk to her mother as soon as she could.

"I'm not going to bother with that right now until I can get some help with it. Until then, or anything else can prove or disprove your claim, I'm not trusting you.", Kurumu decided with a quick nod.

Sighing, Shoujiro started pushing the succubus to the door. "You have no reason to hang around here then, don't you? C'mon... out with you now!" He held onto the struggling and yelling girl with one arm and opened the door with the other. Pushing with both arms, he then slammed the door shut behind her. Over her yelling for him to open up, he shouted, "Go back to your room and get changed! Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." He walked from the front door dusting both hands off.

Two sets of talons sliced into the front door, cleaving it into three large and several smaller pieces, which fell to the floor. A very pissed off succubus in full transformation mode stalked into the House, tail lashing back and forth. She spotted her target and headed in.

Sighing and shaking his head, Shoujiro asked, "You didn't have to go and destroy the front door, did you? I even said we only had the one!" His brow furrowed.

Putting both betaloned hands on her hips, Kurumu glared right at him. "And where do you get off tossing me out like a fucking **cat**, you imposter?"

Laughing, Shoujiro cried out, "What _is_ it about today? I come out for the first time in eleven to twelve years and suddenly _I'm_ the imposter here? What the fuck about me screams 'imposter', huh!" Wings, both bluish black and shining sprang forth from his back as claws also did from his hands. A tail, much less cute and more barbed than the succubus's, grew from a hole in the back of his pants. His ears became more pointed, almost like an elf's. A burst of dark chaotic energy encompasses the area, deepening the shadows. He glared at the suddenly quiet blue-headed succubus with eyes red with hellfire.

**"**_**He**_** might invite you in from time to time for a meal out of the goodness of his heart. **_**I**_** am under no such obligation, you shallow little **_**bitch**_**. Oh, excuse me... you shallow little **_**cock-teasing**_** bitch."** He noted the way her mouth opened and closed like a suffocating carp. **"I thought that maybe, for a minute there when you hesitated, that **_**he**_** might have been onto something... that maybe you were a nice girl under all that hairspray and perfume, but you've disappointed me sorely, Kurumu. **_**Sorely**_**. But I suppose that's the best I can expect from a girl who hasn't even been able to figure herself out yet either."** He sighed deeply. **"I want you to leave, now, Kurumu. No arguments. No cursing. **_**Now**_**."**

When she finally got enough mobility up to do so, as she was about to pass over the threshold, he called out. **"Kurumu? One moment, and then you can go."** She turned back, her gaze half dead, expectant. **"Do you want to know the whole secret of finding your Destined One? I can tell you, if you want." ** Life came back to her eyes, if only a little.

Gently, Shoujiro said, **"When you find yourself losing sleep thinking about someone, when you find yourself unable to eat much... when you notice yourself spending more and more time with a certain someone, when you want to protect them, even at the cost of your own life... when you notice the way your heart beats when they're around, then maybe, **_**maybe**_** you'll have finally found that special someone. Your Mate of Fate."** Leaning his head back against the wall, he sighed tiredly and closed his eyes. **"Now... please, go."**

Her footsteps sounded hesitant, as if unable to move. But after a minute or so the succubus's footsteps receded into the distance.

_'Bitches and whores. Where are the _good_ girls at?'_, the tired incubus butler thought. He opened his eyes and saw the front door... or the frame for it.

**"Now how the hell am I gonna get _that_ fixed?"**

* * *

><p>The next morning dawned grey, and Hayate came to in his little bedroom in the Servant Wing. A buzzing noise sounded from the nearby intercom, so bleary-eyed, the blue-haired butler went to answer it.<p>

_**"Come upstairs, Hayate. There's something I wish to discuss with you about today."**_ Moka's voice was controlled, but the boy could hear something underneath. So, unsure what his temperamental Mistress might want today but fearing the worst, he donned his uniform and used the service elevator to go upstairs.

Upon entering Moka-Ojousama's bedroom and knocking on her private bedroom door, he received a crisp _**"Enter"**_. Opening the door, he beheld a small stack of girl's school uniforms. His Ojousama was already up and dressed for the day in her uniform blazer and skirt, her empty Rosario choker chain hitting the buttons of her blazer on occasion.

_**"Come over here, Hayate. I want to check your size."**_, Moka ordered.

Not sure which size she wanted to check, he complied.

_**"Now... strip."**_

"Okay, Ojous-... _hey!_ Since when do I have to strip?", Hayate asked in a panic.

_**"Since you have no other outfits to wear, that's why"**_, Moka stated just before she started shredding his clothes with her hands, singlehandedly mauling the clothes right off of the baffled and embarrassed butler. When she was done, Hayate was standing in his altogether, vainly trying to keep hidden what Nature had graced him with upon his birth. Nodding in satisfaction, she smiled.

_**"There! Now we'll have to see what fits you from these piles." **_Moka started sorting through blouses and skirts while Hayate just looked on in mounting horror.

"Oh, no... _hell_ no! You don't expect me to go to class in those clothes, do you?", he asked the humming silver-haired vampire.

_**"Unless you prefer going like that, you will"**_, she shot back at him.

"Why are you doing this to me!", Hayate howled in misery.

The smile she gave him at that time would've made lesser men crap in their drawers or loosen their bladders. _**"Well, Hayate, consider it punishment deferred from your other half's words and actions." **_

Gabbling for words, Hayate finally got a coherent sentence out. "I thought... you weren't going to hold what my other half said or did against me, Ojousama?"

_**"'Ojousama is **_**still****_ Ojousama, no matter which _'she'_ she is', wasn't that correct, Hayate?"_**, Moka asked him, still smiling. _**"Which means, as much as it pains me, I must also treat you the same way, Hayate. No difference in the way we approach each other. One half is responsible for the words and actions of both halves. No favoritism."**_ She approached the naked butler with several pieces of clothing. **_"Let's see you try these on before I start putting some foundation on you along with a little makeup. "_**

Dying a little on the inside, but preferring this to the alternative beatdown, the beleaguered butler complied with his Evil Mistress's wish.

* * *

><p>He hated school. He hated it with a raw unfettered passion reserved for rapists and religious solicitors. Faces on the way to school turned and gave double-takes as he passed by. Many faces sported blush marks, and more than a few people had drool running down one lip or another. Some of them were <em>girls<em>. It took all his concentration and control to keep from snapping the neck of every person he passed by on the way to homeroom. Moka kept silent the whole way, never sparing a glance in his direction.

Entering their classroom, conversation stopped entirely. Moka made her way to her own seat, ignoring the ensuing silence as much as she had the hubbub of homeroom. Hayate hesitated, and then took his own seat, fixing his skirt just before he sat down. Whispers arose in the background, becoming a murmur which maintained a certain level. Surreptitiously, Hayate glanced about the classroom for people he knew. Moka was setting her things up for class. Kurumu was rubbing her eyes and looking at him in shock. A clack sounded as a lollipop hit the floor. The purple-haired girl who'd just entered the classroom had her mouth open, staring dumbfounded at him.

Putting his head upon his desk, he cried silently. _'Someone, just kill me already. Drop a big fucking meteor on this classroom and vaporize everything in a quarter mile diameter, _please_.'_

No such luck, as always. Homeroom started with one minor hiccup.

"Umm... Miss...?", Nekonome-sensei looked at Hayate blinking her eyes.

In a soft voice, Hayate repeated the excuse that Silver-haired Moka had made him memorize before they left the Guest House. "Hermione. Ayasaki Hermione, Nekonome-sensei. My... older brother... is sick and didn't wish to miss anything in class today. So, while I'm visiting him for today, he asked me to sit in on his classes, and take what notes I could, as well as any handouts he would need. Sorry for the intrusion", he apologized.

"Oh! I see. That would make sense. No trouble, Hermione-chan. I'll just make a note of it for your other... I mean _Hayate-kun's_ other teachers that you'll be helping your older brother out since he's sick." The cat demon looked relieved. The Yuki-onna, Succubus, and Vampire all sweatdropped.

_'She bought _that_?/ the idiot cat actually _bought_ that?/I can't believe she _bought_ that line.'_, the three thought.

_'I'm glad she bought that'_, 'Hermione' sent up an Ave to Whomever had granted that little miracle.

Maybe the rest of the day would get better, he hoped.

* * *

><p>Hope, much like her sister Luck, proved to be a cruel fickle bitch. The only moments of quiet he'd been able to get were in the <em>Girl's<em> Restroom, and only after Kurumu cornered him that first time after Homeroom:

"What happened, Hayate? Is this who you really are? Why is it that the good ones are either taken or gay? How did this mph gphm mrgh?" He had to silence her as a few girls were just entering into the room at that time, while they huddled in one of the back stalls for privacy.

"Ssh!" Hayate cautioned in a sibilant hiss. Not sure if this would work or not, but having little choice, he attempted to use his Charm on Kurumu. Not to ensnare her, but as a form of mind contact.

_-Can you hear me, Kurumu-san?-_ Hayate thought at her. Her own eyes widened.

_-How did you do tha-... Charm?-_, she asked raising a cyan eyebrow. He nodded sheepishly. She silently squealed and hugged him tightly. Embarrassed, he peeled her off of him and got her attention.

_-I'm sorry to confuse you like this-_, he gestured at his outfit, _-but this morning I was left with little choice after Moka ripped all my clothes off of me. And all I had was the outfit I'd been wearing beforehand.-_

Frowning, Kurumu asked, _-Why would she do that?-_

_-She said something about punishing me for what my other half said and did while I was not in control of the body.. It was either this, or get my ass beat like a bongo drum-_, he said. He looked put off for some reason, the succubus noted.

_-What did he say or do to her that would have her make you go to class in drag?- _Purple eyes blinking in surprise, she asked, _-Hayate, who, or _what_, is your 'other half'?-_

Licking his lips nervously, Hayate tried to answer. _-Do you know how Moka-san has her pink-haired normal self, and then there's her Silver-haired self when her Rosario comes off?-_ At the blue-headed girl's nod, he continued. _-Well, instead of a physical seal like Moka-san has, I have another type inside me. That's where he is. He is... my original self.- _

The bell for the next class started ringing. Hayate opened the stall door and looked out. no one was in the restroom and so he made his way to the front door. Well, _almost_ to the front door. A yank back by his arm turned him around until he was face to face with a smiling succubus.

"Thank you for being honest, Hayate-kun", she said before laying a chaste kiss on his lips. Waggling her fingers in farewell, Kurumu sauntered on her way back to class, whereas he ran as fast as he could without breaking roles.

* * *

><p>The day came to an end finally. Almost. There was still club activities to attend to before seeking new school uniforms.<p>

"Well then everyone thanks for joining my club! Hermione-chan excepted of course, who is sitting in for her big brother", nodded Nekonome-sensei who smiled at 'Hermione' as 'she' fidgeted cutely in 'her' desk seat.

"So, without further ado, let's begin the club activities of the Youkai Academy Newspaper, nya~!"

Silence echoed off the classroom walls.

_'Are we it for members?'_ they all thought, sweatdropping.

Hermione raised 'her' hand. After getting the teacher's permission to speak, 'she' asked, "I don't mean to be rude, Sensei, but", looking around at the otherwise empty classroom, 'she' continued, "is this club consisting of just three people? My Nii-san, Kurumu-san, and Moka-san?"

Waving dismissively, the nekomata teacher said, "Don't be silly! There is one other member, and-"

"Excuse me! Sorry I'm late, Sensei. Man, and it's the first day too!" A male student's voice rang out from just outside the classroom's door.

"-and speak of the Devil. Here he is, the only other member", the suddenly underwhelmed club adviser put in.

Roses. that's all Hayate's first impression of this guy was. Roses and _lots_ of teeth.

"Greetings! I'm Morioka Ginei, president of this Newspaper Club. pleased to meet ya." He eyed each of the girls and Hayate overlong, especially Moka and Hayate.

_This_ couldn't be anything _but_ trouble.

* * *

><p><span>Author Notes:<span> Sorry for the extended wait, guys. It's been one thing after another these past few weeks. First with the medical emergency that actually _wasn't_, according to some doctors, followed by getting sick with some kind of virus or stomach bug, ending with a small case of writer's block due to all the interruptions Life throws your way sometimes. Long story short? Life sucks... let's move along. :)

You'll notice some things different about Hayate. He's having to deal with a suddenly much more active youkai nature, rather than the normal human one he'd been living with up until recently. pressure from within is starting to mount from external pressure... soon, the mask he's wearing may break under the strain if something doesn't happen to alleviate it. I know some of you are hoping for a favored pairing, or a Tenchi Solution, or even just some good old fashioned lemonade, aren't you? There's still more to come next chapter, don't you worry.

I had a hell of a time trying to keep character development in check along with the events going on around Hayate and the two current active heroines... let me know how that's going from your own perspectives, if I should lay off on trying to showcase a bit of each character's thoughts in pattern to what each of them is saying and doing. I always wanted to show a little bit of each person's line of thinking, in addition to how they'd act given the abnormal situations which seem to keep popping up around Hayate. And now w have Hayate, and his original self, Shoujiro. How this plays out with the different dynamics is anyone's guess, even me the Writer! lol

As always, drop me a line privately if you feel something's a bit off with my story portrayal, or just to agree or disagree with me over other bits and pieces. Reviews let me know how things are going, kind of like taking a sonar reading off the bottom of a large body of water. Take care of yourselves all. I'll try to do the same.

This is the Priest, signing off.


	6. Play Nice with your Seniors!

**Disclaimer:** **Do people even read these? **

**Anyway, I own neither the copyrights nor the royalties for _Hayate the Combat Butler_ nor _Rosario + Vampire_, so I only make two things off this story: Jack and shit, and Jack is suing me in litigation court right now, so what I get from doing all this is pretty much narrowed down, isn't it?**

-: telepathic communication.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6: Play Nice with your Seniors!<span>

Hayate and the girls sweatdropped watching this guy work through the room. He zeroed in on Moka like a heat-seeking meat missile.

"Wow! Nekonome-sensei told me there'd be a couple of beauties joining our little club, but I thought she had been exaggerating. And here I see three!" Gin enthused happily. He handed a bouquet of purple roses to Moka. "For you, purple roses. They're a sign of love at first sight, for you've captivated me completely." He moved on to Kurumu, handing her a bouquet of dark red roses.

"Dark red roses suit you best, I think. They showcase well the loveliness you carry about with you so unselfconsciously." Much to everyone in the room's surprise he then moved to one of the overhead vents and held aloft a pink rose and called out. "To you, my shy dear... whomever you are... a pink rose. You are a special and unique individual, no matter your quirks." A slender pale white arm reached out and snatched the rose out of his hand before snaking back into the vent. Movement from inside the vent started shuffling out of the classroom proper.

_'How the hell had he known someone was in there?'_, Hayate wondered. He 'eeped!' when he found himself staring up at the tall dark-haired upperclassman.

"I wasn't expecting the appearance of such a fragile flower like yourself. Please accept this rose as a sign of my appreciation of your devotion to your older brother." Gin gave Hayate another Osmond Family smile, and handed him a single red rose. His other hand grasped and caressed the blunette boy in drag's hand. "Should you have any questions, _any_ questions at all, please don't hesitate to ask, Imouto-chan."

Face taut with barely hidden tension, Hayate stammered, "T-thank you for your consideration, Gin-sempai." The older boy was still caressing his hand absentmindedly. "Umm, Sempai? Could I have my hand back?"

Gin, realizing his true colors were starting to show, let go as if the delicate hand had been burning hot. "Uh, oh! Sorry about that! Eh hehehe", he smiled in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck.

_'Great'_, Hayate thought. _'The club president's a Lothario on top of an idiot.' _He gave Kurumu the eye.

_-Can you _believe_ this guy?-_, he sent with a mental snort of disgust.

The (oddly enough) nervous succubus moved over to where the cross-dressing butler was standing. She snuggled up against him for support. _-I don't do well against this type of playboy, Hayate-kun-_, she confided.

_-Will this be a problem, Kurumu-san?-_, Hayate asked with a tone of concern in his mental voice.

_-... chan...-_, she mumbled.

_-What was that, Kurumu-san? I didn't quite catch that-_, he started, just before the anxious succubus cut in.

_-Call me Kurumu-chan from now on, Hayate-kun. We're no longer acquaintances but friends, aren't we? So, please use it instead of -san-_, the normally vivacious air-head quietly asserted.

_-O-okay... K-Kurumu...-chan-_, Hayate assented in a flustered tone. An image of a miniature Kurumu glomping a miniature Hayate in his butler outfit appeared in the shared vision. The picayune succubus cheered 'yahoo!'and proceeded to smother the equally sized Hayate in her overly generous bust. After twenty seconds, the small imaginary boy was down for the count.

The clearing of a throat turned both of the two's attention back to the front of the classroom, where both Gin and Nekonome-sensei had taken positions.

Nekonome-sensei gestured to Gin and continued with introductions. "He's the only 2nd Year member of the club, so if you have any questions about anything just ask Gin, alright?"

"You can count on me!", the smiling upperclassman said confidently.

"I have a staff meeting, so take care of the rest of the club activities for today, Gin-kun", the apologetic nekomata said, moving towards the classroom door.

Waving lackadaisically, the taller dark-haired boy gave the departing woman a thumbsup. "Right, leave everything to me, Teach!"

And so, without further ado, Nekonome-sensei fled the room. _'Maybe she already knew what to expect'_, Hayate thought morosely. _ 'Anyway, I think she had the right idea. This looks like an impossible situation.' _He was about to follow the teacher when he felt a pull on the back of his female blazer. It was Kurumu... and she was peeved.

"Planning to run while leaving us defenseless girls to fend for ourselves against this guy? I thought you were different than that, Hayate", she whispered to Hayate, with a teardrop at the corner of one eye. By this time, Moka had crept up to his other side and was giving him the rougher side of her tongue.

"We either hang together or we swing separately, Hayate. Plus, if we all make it through this day with no sexual harassment incidents you can consider the punishment over with", the pinkette hissed into his other ear. "That's what Ura-chan says anyway."

_'You girls are about as defenseless as rottweilers on PCP'_, the cross-dressing boy thought with a sweat drop. With his other half asleep since last night, there was no peanut gallery to mock him today. All things considered though, he'd _love_ to have the peanut gallery right now, just for the occasional good advice from him. Hayate prepared for the worst while hoping for the best.

* * *

><p>The trio settled in for the time being, each taking a seat. Gin stood behind the teacher's lectern.<p>

"Okay kiddies, here's the lowdown on what we do here in the Newspaper Club: Our job is the compiling, printing, and distribution of the school newspaper. We do this by finding stories of note here on campus. Things could get tough out there. Each of you might be called upon to sacrifice yourselves for the sake of publishing the scoop! Prepare yourselves for hell", he explained, his dark eyes serious.

For a moment after Gin's speech there was shocked silence. Moka turned to the other two and said, "A dependable guy... maybe?"

"I think the jury's still out on that", Kurumu answered softly to the other two out of the corner of her mouth.

Gin's stone-faced expression seemed to tighten up a bit, and then relaxed completely.

"Just kidding! Let's have some fun this year in the club, without all the seriousness." He holds up a large poster. 'This is our poster ad. We'll put up a bunch on the back wall near the shoe racks. Let's get to it!", the club president enthusiastically exclaimed.

"Yeah!", everyone else cheerfully answered back.

* * *

><p>"Is right here fine, Sempai?", the straining succubus asked from atop her own chair while trying to adjust the height of the poster she was holding.<p>

"Nope... much, _much_ higher, Kurumu-chan", the club president considered with his forefinger and thumb rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

From where Hayate was affixing soft tacks on the backs of other posters in the school lobby, he thought to himself, _'Flirty one second and serious the next... what an oddball.' _He looked off to the side where both the other girls were standing on their chairs reaching higher and higher. The butler-in-drag hoped neither one got hurt if they fell.

He saw Gin crouched down and looking up right behind Kurumu. _'Wait a sec... what the hell is wrong with him? He couldn't be... He _is!_'_ The incensed boy scowled at the crouched upperclassman who had been positioning himself for a good peek up both the pink-haired vampiress and the blunette succubus's skirts.

_-Kurumu-chan, if you look over your shoulder, you'll notice Gin-sempai peeping up your skirt-_, Hayate warned.

The straining girl started a bit and then casually looked over her left shoulder where she noticed from the corner of her eye the perverted expression of one Morioka Ginei. She hopped down from the chair without turning around. Gin tried recovering quickly enough from where he'd been crouched down but the sudden movement sent him toppling over onto his butt. Kurumu turned around and looked down at the startled club president.

"Oh! Gin-sempai, whatever could be the matter?", the busty bombshell asked with honey-coated words as she bent over, giving the fallen club president an unobstructed view of her décolletage . Hayate silently moved behind the dark-haired older boy and waited. By this time the commotion had caught the attention of Moka, who was watching all this from atop her own chair.

***Shunk!***

One of Kurumu's hands had extended, claws out, and embedded themselves in the linoleum floor tiles right against the suddenly shaken club president's crotch. If the succubus so much as sneezed, Gin would be half the man he _pretended_ to be.

The nervous pervert felt a set of claws at his neck as well.

"Just out of curiosity, Kurumu-chan... did you miss on purpose?", 'Hermione' asked lightly, as though they were simply discussing the latest fashion trends in the Human World.

"Yes, I did, Hermione-chan... why do you ask?", Kurumu replied, smirking slightly.

Shrugging, 'she' answered, "No real reason." _-Any closer to the mark and you'd have circumcised him, Kurumu-chan-_, Hayate sent to her, mentally wincing. Musical bell-like laughter was her only reply.

Turning her attention back to the sprawled upperclassman, Kurumu narrowed her eyes. "I'm beginning to think we made a mistake joining this club, girls. Howzabout we call it a day and go grab dinner?"

"I'm all for that!", Moka chirped agreeably. She climbed down from her chair and gave a disdainful stare at the would-be peeper. "If it's one thing I can't stand it's dirty guys."

Recovering his wits with commendable speed, the now flummoxed club president got up from his position on the floor. "No, please! I apologize if that's what it looked like I was doing, but..." Gin started hurriedly explaining before being cut off at the knees mercilessly by the miffed succubus.

"Save your breath, Gin-sempai. You'll need it to blow up your inflatable date later on" , she shot back, rolling her eyes at the bald-faced lie. She grabbed onto Hayate's right arm pulling him off into the direction of the cafeteria. Not to be outdone, Moka snagged the other arm, leaving the butler-in-drag quite flustered.

"B-but, I have to get new uniforms... f-for Nii-san!", Hayate squeaked in his persona's girlish tones.

"Nonsense, Hermione-chan... you can do that _after_ we eat", Moka corrected meaningfully, staring at his neck.

Hayate wanted to cry. This day just_ would not end._

* * *

><p>Staring at the three girls roaming off down the hall in the complete opposite direction from him, the dark-haired upperclassman was puzzled. How had he failed? His plans hadn't accounted for the younger Ayasaki sister, but that was negligible. Had he miscalculated the angle of approach? At any rate his plan to discredit the older Ayasaki sibling in the eyes of Miss Akashiya had fallen through due to the little bastard's luck in falling ill the day beforehand. And what was up with that anyway? Getting sick? That almost made this Ayasaki kid sound like a <em>human<em>.

Chuckling to himself, Gin shook his head, knocking a couple of dark locks of hair loose from under his bandana. No way would a human be _here_, of all places. Knocking himself in the head with the heel of one hand, Gin said aloud, "Not the time to be wondering about unimportant bullshit, _Gin_. Nekonome-sensei's gonna use us for a scratching post for this!" He groaned. Time to get ready to kiss some furry cat tail. Maybe she'd have mercy and spare his face? He'd _be_ so lucky.

As the resigned club president strolled off towards the faculty room to await his 'lecture', he ruminated further on possible future plans involving the lovely Akashiya Moka and her two succubi companions. The older succubus was as feisty and bitchy as the rest of her self-entitled sisters-in-species, but the younger one seemed to be as different as night and day to her. Quiet for the most part, and a submissive personality, with a slender girlish body. Sure, big breasts like Kurumu-chan's were always a treat to behold, but A-Cup titties fit nicely in the hand as well. _'I wonder if Hermione-chan is a moaner or a screamer?'_, the Second Year boy thought idly, a perverted expression crossing his features. A question he would be sure to have answered one way or another in the future. Both the girls made for a nice contrast, really. One he'd be sure to enjoy thoroughly later on tonight as side dishes... and who knows? Maybe in another year he'd get the chance to play Hide The Salami with the both of them together. The possibilities kept him drooling almost up until he'd reached the faculty room.

But Akashiya Moka... she still took top pick in his choice of girlfriends. Oh yes, he hadn't given up, not by a long shot.

* * *

><p>Hayate didn't know what to do anymore. On one hand, high school was turning out into something like what he'd read in the few ecchi shounen manga he'd borrowed from a couple of his middle school classmates. However, those stories usually had childhood friends and magical girls in them. What had the name of one of them been? Mistress Eva Magi? The one with the preteen vampire mage masquerading as a middle school English teacher at a school for boys while earning her parole? <em>'A classroom of 32 misfits, as well as future lolicons in the making'<em>, he thought with no small amount of distaste.

He was glad he'd never gotten too deep into the story. Keisuke and Reiji had been okay guys. A little weird, perhaps... alright, _very_ weird... but they'd been a big help with what notes he'd missed due to falling asleep in class after some really bad nights with his parents.

Shaking his head to clear up the segueing thoughts, Hayate returned to his original assertion that he was at a loss as to what to do. Things were rapidly spiraling out of control in his life. First, he winds up in a school exclusively for monsters; second, he befriends not one but _**two**_ monsters... a vampire and a succubus; third, he gets turned into a male sex demon called an incubus by a potion. Days like those made the butler-in-drag wish he'd been raised an atheist. At least that way he'd be able to lie to himself that God didn't exist and therefore couldn't hate him. That wouldn't explain away his abominable luck though.

He sighed while swirling the cutlet atop the rice in his bowl of katsudon. Noticing this, Kurumu spoke up.

"Something the matter, Hayate-kun?"

He looked up and nervously scanned the surrounding tables. The cafeteria was only about one quarter full tonight. It seemed most of the students preferred to eat after club activities, which was good news for their little group since that left all the tables immediately around them empty. He thought he caught a glimpse of light purple hair from behind one of the cafeteria's columns, but upon closer inspection decided he'd probably been imagining things again. Hayate turned his head back to his tablemate.

"Too much on my mind, Kurumu-chan. Trying to put things into perspective and adapt." He picked halfheartedly at the pork cutlet. "And not having much success."

"Anything I can help with?", Moka chimed in quietly.

"As for that, Moka-san... I..." He had to stop talking since Moka had latched onto him from the side she'd been sitting on in thanksgiving. "M-Moka-san?"

"Thank you, Hayate-kun! I know Ura-chan likes to be called by _that_ title, but I hate it. It puts distance between us, and since we're friends it gets in the way.", the almost emotionally overcome pink-haired vampire said into his shoulder. The only thing Hayate could think to do was pat her back comfortingly, as discomfited as he was about the whole situation.

_**'He's learning'**_, Moka's true self remarked with approval.

_'He wouldn't _need _to if you'd left him with more leeway, Ura-chan!'_, Moka's seal personality huffed internally.

_**'Hayate is one of those rare individuals who doesn't need to be reminded of his place, Omote. But sometimes he will need a gentle **_**nudge**_** in the right direction.'**_ Her silver-haired apparition shook her head ruefully. _**'His **_**other**_** personality Shoujiro, on the other hand, will need a sledgehammer to the face... repeatedly... to cure his social myopia.' **_

'_Does that mean you're rescinding that stupid punishment on Hayate for what his other self did?'_

**_'I suppose it does. He handled himself remarkably well today under the extenuating circumstances.' _**A hint of pink colored Inner Moka's imaginary cheek. **_ 'I think I'll keep that particular punishment in mind should Hayate require it though.' _**

_'Pervert'_, her outer personality declared.

Completely unaware of the discussion taking place between the two halves of the teenage vampire, Hayate spoke up to cover the awkward silence. "There wasn't a chance to talk this morning with everything that happened, and yesterday was petty bad, but did Ura-Ojousama learn _anything_ at all?"

Disengaging herself from the cross-dressed First Year boy, Moka tilted her head to the side as if listening to someone, then nodded once. She faced Hayate and set her expression into one of careful control.

"Well, Hayate-kun", she began quietly, so as to not have her voice carry beyond what their table could hear, "the potion which changed you didn't actually cause the change... it only provided a catalyst for that change. Ura says something about the youki which had been infused into the potion as being the real culprit. After all, you can't turn something into what it was already, right?" Noticing his reaction to her words starting, Moka made to try to smooth things over the best she could under the circumstances. "But hey! It's not all bad news, right? Now you actually fit in here at school." It was her turn to comfort the stunned and speechless boy-in-drag.

Hayate's world had lurched and spun as he took all this in. He... was a monster. Not from the moment he'd been doused with that potion, but born as one. Not wanting to really waste his food by knocking it over, he pushed it away from his seat over to the side. and rested his head on the table, trembling.

The succubus had been listening in on these developments, and watching her friend and love interest crumble right in front of her was more than she could handle to stay silent. "What's wrong, Hayate?", Kurumu asked worriedly She wasn't sure what the problem was, but surely they could puzzle it out and everything would be fine, right?

Getting up like a zombie risen from its grave, Hayate apologized to everyone present. "Sorry, Moka-san... Kurumu-chan. I'm not that hungry right now, so I'll be going along first. I need fresh uniforms and to get the House ready for night. Excuse me." His voice lacked it's usual warmth and vitality, as personable as a morgue slab. He turned and shambled off, barely missing a group of students just leaving the chow line. One of them glared at 'her'.

Kurumu turned back to see Moka about to follow the shell-shocked boy. A strong right hand halted the pink-haired teenager's progress.

"You're not going anyplace, Moka, until we have this out.", the blunette girl growled. "You know something about this, and why he's taking it so hard, so spill it."

For a moment, the succubus could have _sworn_ she'd seen blood-red eyes glaring death at her from beneath the pink-headed girl's bangs, but... nah, that couldn't be. A penitent look came over the vampire girl's features and she took a seat at the table again. A sigh passed her lips.

"I suppose it's no point in keeping it secret from _you_ any longer, Kurumu-chan." Moka looked at the succubus, who'd also retaken her own seat.

"A few weeks ago, the day after the welcoming ceremony, Hayate and I got into an argument about him. He'd wanted to leave the Academy, and I'd tried stopping him. It was then that he'd dropped a bombshell on me at the time: He claimed, and evidence at the time pointed to it being very likely, that he'd been born human and raised in the Human World. We both know now that isn't so, but with everything else going on at the time with Saizou and such, the likelihood of his being human seemed ironclad, but for one or two things. One, his abnormal speed, strength, and durability. He took a full-on punch from Saizou in his chest, _and regenerated the broken ribs and ruptured organs_. Two, his smell. It's not just that he smelled covered in human scent, _it was permeated into his very being_. His essence was full of it. Still, it seemed somehow off, not quite _quite_. Surely you noticed this too, Kurumu-chan." At the enthralled and listening Lilim female's nod, Moka continued. "Now, from what I can guess, something happened to him a long time ago, but he's been very quiet on his past for the most part."

Venturing to come up with something to say, Kurumu haltingly spoke up. "I had no idea he was hiding anything like that. But from what I've been getting from him, it goes much deeper than just losing his species identity. What happened to him in the Human World? What kind of home life did he have before coming here? There are so many unknowns here that I'm at a loss." She rubbed her face with both hands trying to massage some relief into her tense muscles there.

"You know, Kurumu-chan, this is the first time I think I can safety say I agree with you on something", the tired pinkette laughed weakly.

Raising a light blue eyebrow, the succubus smiled. It was a small one, but there all the same. "Should we consider the truce turned into an official peace treaty then? Friends?" She stuck a hand out, open.

Moka took the offered hand with a warm smile of her own. "Yes!"

_'I don't trust you with much else yet, but one thing we can agree on, Moka/Kurumu: and that's that Hayate needs help and _badly_'_ they both thought together synchronously.

* * *

><p>Hayate didn't remember much of what he'd done or said while getting the outfits ordered from the School Dispensary, but the clerk and the others present had given him odd looks while he'd been about it.<p>

It was after sundown when he'd finished with everything, and the lonely path leading from the main road going into the school proper to the Guest House was as dark ad forbidding as always. The sound of night birds' calls echoed through the forest of dead trees. He wasn't paying any of them any mind anyway, which is why it was more of a surprise when a dead tree fell across the path in front of him.

A coarse ugly tone he'd heard once, seemingly a long time ago, called out. "Normally I'd be all for introducin' myself to such a cutie, but not tonight, hun, sorry. I've got a bone to pick with your dear ol' big brother, and I'm afraid since I can't find the little shit, you'll have to stand in for him." From behind another dead tree stepped one Komiya Saizou, sans body cast. He looked Hayate up and down appraisingly.

"Not too much meat on yer bones, but a cutie all the same. Which will be a shame to mess up after I get done with you." He moved forward, body size and mass doubling as he took on his birth form.

The boy butler in drag was done. It was all just too much to take. He slumped to his knees in defeat, waiting for the inevitable, his consciousness slipping into and out of focus. His head ducked a bit, the bangs hiding his upper face.

Taking this as a sign of surrender and not wanting to drag it out any more for the little girl whose only fault was being born an Ayasaki, Saizou cocked his fist. "This is nuthin' personal between you an' me, little cutie." His fist flew straight and true at the subdued 'girls' head.

That's when he felt the pulse of dark chaotic energy.

A pale slender hand cupped itself and intercepted the hulking hamfist easily, with surprising strength.. and started to crush the offending member, grinding the bones into fragments within their fleshy confines.

"Oh, but this _is_ personal between you and me, Saizou-_kun_", a harsh grating voice growled out from before the startled and agonizing orc. To the injured orc's disbelieving eyes a literal _demon_ was rising up from off the ground in front of him. One with fiery red eyes which promised pain, and lots of it. Wings, batlike and midnight blue in color stretched out towards the sky in silent approbation to the waxing moon. A tail, both wickedly barbed and also the same color as the wings, snaked out from under the skirt. Talons grew out from the fingernail cuticles. Ears as pointed as any elf's poked out from behind cyan strands of hair. The pulse of dark energy continued to peak. And finally, in a bit of agonized crying out himself, a set of two vestigial horns emerged from Hayate's head just above his temples and lengthened a bit. Throughout this further change more height and heft had been added to the blue-haired incubus' body. Where once he stood about 5' 6", and weighed about 125 lbs (only about 10% of it fat), Hayate now clocked in at 6' 8" and a bit over 210 lbs.

Shoujiro searched quickly through the day's memories and winced, gritting his teeth painfully. He looked at the cringing orc and smiled. It was not a good night to be a rapist at Youkai Academy.

**"I'd like to take my present state of dress up with the bitch who caused it, but since you've so kindly offered yourself up as a willing substitute, who am _I _to refuse such largess?" **The killing intent which had gone muted while his transformation was let unfinished finally closed in on Komiya Saizou with all the finality of a coffin lid closing. It was the first and _only_ time Saizou realized just what a stupid dick he'd been trying to be to look cool here to get girls. And now it looked like his bad habits were about to do him in.

Talons working quickly, Shoujiro shredded all the girl's clothes he'd been forced to wear throughout the course of the day into tatters which flew off in the stiff wind whipping the dust off the road into mini-dust devils. So now the orc was forced to witness a _very_ pissed off incubus in all his hellish glory as he considered his victim and how to go about punishing his past transgressions and his present idiocy.

**"Did you know, Saizou-kun, that with enough will and concentration that Reality can be warped, bent, or broken utterly into completely new and interesting shapes? Since you're here and the night is still young, why don't we test out that theory for you now? Now now, you need not worry about lab materials... you've already so thoughtfully provided _those_"**, Shoujiro said in a conversational tone of voice, the killing intent not dipping a bit.

To the orc's horror, sword blades, both extremely long and _sharp_ pierced the ground at his feet, going completely through their soles pinning him to the ground. Other sword blades much larger in size but no less sharply edged angled up from the ground on all sides in a sort of intermeshing iron maiden. A few pierced his sides, one going so far as impaling his good arm with the uninjured hand. It was as if the Earth itself decided to raise up arms against the miniscule irritant and wipe it from existence. Somehow, the irritated incubus didn't seem satisfied with his handiwork.

**"AHHHHH!"**, screamed the encaged orc. Copious tears ran down both cheeks, mixing with the freely flowing blood from his crown of swords.

**"Not enough... it's still not enough. He'll break before we're done"**, the blue-headed Lilim male said out loud, watching the twitching bleeding body of the almost shish-kebabbed monstrel. **"I'm getting no satisfaction from this at all, Saizou-kun. I _could_ just kill you now and get this over with. But I'm going to do something out of character for me and give you a choice. I can kill you now, end all your suffering in one final explosive shower of blood and gore... _or_..."** Shoujiro waited for the orc to ask the obvious question, if he was bright enough.

Working his mouth mightily to keep any more whimpers from his voice, Saizou saw his opening.

"... or what?"

Nodding happily, as if to a smart pupil, Shoujiro clapped. **"Very _good_, Saizou-kun! _Or_... I can attempt to rehabilitate you in a way the adults will have their heads spinning trying to wrap their brains around. You see, I've already figured you out, pretty much. You're not happy with your lot in life as a so-called 'low breed monster', are you? You hate being looked down upon, so you strike out against those you feel are weaker than yourself." **The incubus laughed bitterly and approached the helpless orc. He looked up into the orc's face, hellfire red eyes meeting slightly bloodshot grey ones.

**"Here's a clue for you, Saizou-kun: I wasn't always the bastion of power and good looks I am today. I actually have a little golden-haired spellflinger girl to thank for that, which I would if she's still around in the Human World. And by 'thank' I mean fuck silly, if she's the same age I am now."** Shoujiro laughed loudly and lustily at his own joke. **"What more fitting sacrifice to someone whose race was worshiped by ancient humans as fertility deities when they were still hunters and gatherers than the chastity of a virgin Goddess?" **

* * *

><p>Somewhere in the Human World, a beautiful blond young woman in a black dress felt a delicious shiver run down her spine. A sneeze then accompanied that full body shiver. It <em>was<em> still Spring... maybe she should have worn her wrap?

* * *

><p><strong>"But I digress." <strong>He continued on the main track of his topic of discussion. **"I offer a one-time chance, Saizou-kun, to make up for all the fuckups you've done elsewhere that brought you here to this school. My other half... the one you know as 'Hayate'... is more inclined to be forgiving than I am, but make no mistake. He can fuck your shit up almost as fast as I would, and in different ways. _ He_ can help you fix your image, while I help you with your self-image. And while you'll have to endure mine and his tender mercies, you might... just _might_... earn some respect along the way. Who knows? You may even get a _real_ girlfriend out of the deal and not just your old date Rosie over there"**, Shoujiro said, pointing to the monstrel's injured hand.

Biting back his almost instinctive response of 'fuck you!' which would have certainly ended badly for him, Saizou swallowed his pride and asked, "S-suppose you help me...what's to say some other schmuck won't see me as weak and try to beat the piss out of me for what I did before?"

**"Then that schmuck gets his shit rocked hardcore. Simple enough? I _hate_ it when my handiwork gets messed up, and with all the effort I expect to have to put into rehabilitating _you_, I'm gonna want to blow off some steam if my hard work gets wrecked. It'll send a message to the other highbrow assholes here."**

Trying to laugh but having trouble because of the encircling ring of death, Saizou asked, "And what message is that?"

**"'Don't fuck with Shoujiro's shit'." **This was said with a deadpan expression and tone of voice.

"Where do I sign up?" was the immediate response.

The incubus just smiled and moved closer to the trapped monstrel and began whispering in his ear. Saizou's eyes widened in disbelief, but he listened anyway. Not like he had much choice in the matter. A minute later, the encircling blades shattered into shards and dissipated back into the Void from which they had sprang. The monstrel male didn't even look at the one who'd so easily and figuratively emasculated him... he just moved as fast as he could to put more distance between the two of them as fast as possible given his condition.

Covered in a thin layer of sweat and still smoldering with lust of a completely different kind, the blunette Lilim sensed the proximity of another living person, quite nearby. He sniffed the air. Female, and by the smell of it in dire need of release. Shoujiro smiled.

**"You can come out now, he's gone"**, he called out into the night air. A pale figure glided into view from behind a dead tree.

Mizore's human disguise had slipped watching the beatdown and subsequent discussion between the incubus and monstrel, and she was both frightened and excited to a degree she'd never known. Frightened because of the almost casually brutal display of power and control which 'Hayate' had just demonstrated, and excited because, well... what female of a certain age _doesn't_ like the instinctual thrill of finding an alpha male in his prime? Her scent, crisp yet musky, filled his nostrils the closer she got to him. Her movements put him in mind of how a doe might have reacted at seeing a car for the first time in her life. Something alien, possibly dangerous, yet curious all the same.

For her part, the snow girl was in a considerable state of disarray, mentally and physically. She on one hand had to quash the need to jump the incubus she still thought of as 'Hayate', even after hearing his assertion about how he shared the same body as the boy she's been keeping a close eye on. On the other hand the rational part of her mind argued the need for caution. The fight or flight instincts in her made the counterpoint that a 'safe distance' is all that was needed to do that. The rational part of her mind, quite weak with the hormonal battering it was taking at the moment pointed out that, as he'd proven with those sword blades, _no_ distance was really 'safe distance'. The only thing she could hope for was that the creature in front of her would show the same consideration and care he had extended to the violence-minded monstrel who'd just tottered off. Mizore's feet betrayed her however and she got into arm's reach of Shoujiro without being aware of that fact until it was too late to back out.

He just smiled tenderly upon her tense sweating face, letting the hellfire red fade back from his deep blue eyes.

**"That's right... I won't hurt you. I know you from somewhere, don't I?"** Shoujiro searched through his memories for the past week for her. And succeeded. He recalled her face and figure, from back when he'd just fully awakened. Yeah... that girl from before. He regarded the snow girl more closely now. **"What's your name, little one?"**, he asked gently. His hand, with the talons mostly withdrawn back into hiding, tilted her head back so he could more fully meet her gaze.

"M-Mizore. Shirayuki Mizore." Her breath ghosted the air frostily, even though her form had shifted back into its usual appearance from the full-on Yuki-onna one she'd been born to.

**"Well, Mizore-chan, I see you're one of the Snow People. Do **_**you**_** know of a way to cool down the ****fever that's inside me? Will you help me dampen the fire?"**, the blueheaded incubus asked her, voice going husky with desire. His arm dipped down and scooped her up in it by her waist easily, bringing their two faces even closer.

The lollipop she'd had sticking out the corner of her mouth fell out as the full import of what Shoujiro was asking of her hit Mizore's brain with all the impact of a semi-tractor trailer doing 90 mph on US I-95. Words failed her as she licked dry lips to try and gather what moisture she could from her suddenly parched mouth.

But before she could muster an answer for the inquisitive boy... no, _man_... his eyes caught hers in a glittering sea of sparkles and stardust, and she knew herself no more at that time.

* * *

><p>A snow field lay all about in a white-washed world of winter-colored mountains. A field of equally snow white flowers grew in that field, carefully tended by Nature's loving hands. He knew, <em>knew<em> at a depth which most would ignore, that _this_ was hallowed ground. Sacred Space to the little girl who stood calmly watching his approach from amidst the blossoms. She wore a beautiful kimono of pale blue which shimmered in the daylight filtering through the grey cloud cover. It matched perfectly with her pupilless crystal blue eyes, which even now followed his every movement.

"I'm afraid I may have overstepped my bounds, Mizore-chan, and for _that_ I'm sorry.", the blunette boy, roughly about the same age as she which here appeared to be 8 years old, said in an oddly hesitant tone of voice. He was dressed all in Butler's Black, with the required Oxfords on his feet. "It's my first time diving into someone else's mind like this, and so my grasp of it only extends to what I've experienced when my mother did the same to me before she disappeared many many years ago." Shoujiro laughed weakly and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

"Why then, Shouji-kun?", asked the little snow girl curiously. No anger, no hostility. "Why go to so much effort?"

"Because there are some things which can only be explained by _showing_ them, as opposed to just saying them out loud. Words get in the way a lot of times, and the last couple times I tried to explain things to the others, I may have messed up and misunderstandings were the result." The admission that he'd been wrong embarrassed the boy greatly. Approaching the little snow girl and taking both her hands in his callused but still soft ones, the boy continued.

"This will involve a certain amount of give and take, Mizore-chan. I want to know about this flower field and why it holds such significance to you, and why you wait here so patiently yet sadly. And I will have to reciprocate in kind. You won't need to speak... you won't need to ask questions or answer them with words. You'll _know_ in a moment of clarity what it all means. Not everything you'll see will be pleasant though. So, even after hearing all that, will you still move forward with me?"

Without any sort of hesitation on her part, Mizore gave the boy dressed in black her most radiant smile. Why would she give up a chance to know more about the boy in front of her? Yet part of her did hesitate. Should she bare her whole soul to this creature? Was he the one to finally end her loneliness?

"You first, Mizore-chan, or me?", the boy asked softly, the ghost of a smile on his face before he continued to regard her with a patient expression.

"Me", was the quiet reply. The girl trembled a bit, like a rabbit being handled for the first time by someone new.

"It's your tune then. Set the pace, Mizore-chan. Close your eyes... this won't hurt a bit.", promised Shoujiro solemnly.

Doing as the earnest boy asked her, Mizore shut her eyes. She heard the crumpling sound of snow being pushed under someone's weight and waited with no small amount of trepidation. A light sensation, as of frozen morning mist, seemed to go over and _through_ her. She opened her eyes by reflex and caught sight of his face sinking into hers. And then all was bright white light and heat and everything fell away.

* * *

><p>He saw her as she was, talking to another boy with hair the color of sunshine yellow at the edge of the field of flowers. Saw the hope turn to despair and sadness as that boy turned and ran from her after she showed him her true form. Saw the loneliness as the years rolled by, followed along with careful instruction about duty to the Village of her people, to her race, to take a husband of the Village's choosing even with no love attached to the union. He saw her Village where it sat in the daylight, <em>had<em> sat for a hundred years... the last holdout against the extinction of an entire species. He witnessed as she watched her father, a human, succumb to illness and die, watched silently as she cried tears which froze almost immediately. The boy knew her flaws, her imperfections, the habits of a lifetime spent waiting for the time when she herself would need to sacrifice her own happiness for that of her people, knowing to the bottom of her heart that she would be alone in the end. He knew the girl's strengths and weaknesses, her doubts and insecurities, her kind nature and gentle heart buried under a thick blanket of pure white snow. Such fear she felt, he knew, but also hope was there... hope and expectation. Fear about how he'd see her, and faith to give him even _this_ much of herself to see. He knew her in all her ignominy and glory... and loved her utterly for it.

The crying incubus let his lips pass micrometers from hers while this sharing of selves was going on.

_Out of all the others you alone might understand Your pain so much like my own but different Your loneliness not as long as my own as our own but still you can relate cant you My Dear One My Shining One MY Maiden of the White Flowers Waiting so patiently for Springs thaw waiting for life for love for freedom from the cold hard ground which binds you But as surely as spring comes after the hardest winter so shall your loneliness too end It ended tonight with our meeting Our Union But we must be careful I want so much so very very much to take you now to become one with you but you might break you are so fragile to one like me so precious too precious to harm and I did promise I wouldnt hurt you didnt I And now it becomes my turn to show you To show you where I am coming from What he suffered over the long years Why we became the way we are._

The deluge of this stream of consciousness slowed to a steady trickle before it started running in the opposite direction. Mizore felt herself falling into the loving gaze of the Lilim male, and this time knew no fear.

* * *

><p>She saw a boy, little more than a toddler really, being held in the loving arms of his mother. A great beauty with long waves of dark red hair, and dark blue eyes very close to black. Saw a man with light blue hair, who she knew to be the boy's father, rush into the home in a great hurry and say something to the woman, who turned a worried gaze at the child dozing in her arms. She saw the two join hands over he boy, who was awake by this time and asking Mommy and Daddy what was wrong. The mother reassured the child that everything would be alright after this, and that she and Daddy would be watching over him. The hands of the adults touched the boy who fell into a catatonic state, a glow of energy surrounding his small form. The father sank to the floor in exhaustion, but the woman didn't let go until she patted the child awake. A blank stare met hers and she started crying seeing her child like this. The two parents stood outside in the backyard, he holding the child in his arms, promising to look out for the boy. The woman would have to hide in the Youkai Realms somewhere to escape notice. The girl saw the two part, and the scene faded.<p>

Now she saw a large room with beds, most of them cribs. The boy is there, with a young boy who looks about 11 or 12 years of age, with black hair. The two are approaching a couple who appear to be there to adopt the pair of boys. The boys are adopted as Ayasaki Ikusa, the older one, and Ayasaki Hayate, the younger. As the years start to roll away, she pays silent witness to Ikusa being away from home more and more, but taking care of his younger brother when he's there. There is a lot of love between the two. The parents, however, were a disappointment from the get-go. They know nothing about being parents really, and never should have bothered in the first place, but appearances count for much, don't they? She saw them steal, embezzle, lie, cheat, and drink themselves into a corner again and again. And throughout all of this the boy Hayate is seen going to school. In kindergarten, Mizore saw him ostracized because of his father's habits of stealing the other children's lunch money and blaming him for it. Saw his father blame the children and go unrepentant to spend the ill-gotten gains. She had to watch as Hayate ran away from a home where he felt unloved, unappreciated, undeserved, unwanted. She wanted to cry, to hold him and comfort him but couldn't.

She watched him wander blindly into a section of forest where, he tripped and hurt himself, just another lost runaway human child in a cruel uncaring world. And there, in a Royal Garden with a field of flowers, is where Mizore saw him meet a Goddess, or so she appeared to be to the little boy's watery eyes. This little girl and Hayate lived together fora time, and she taught him many of the skills and habits which would stick with him even now. With his newfound skill in fighting and the addition of conditioning which a spell added to his body the boy defended another little girl, quite possibly saving her life yet altering its path all the same. The golden-haired girl and Hayate were seen to be exchanging rings, to promise another type of union to be completed after they were both grownups, and Mizore felt like crying once again. With happiness for Hayate, or sadness for someone else?

Hayate had another of those attacks of love and trust that maybe his parents would _finally_ be able to move beyond their present course in life, but that faith and love was yet again betrayed most cruelly when, as he talked with his parents they pawned off the important Ring of Promise the girl had given him, and he returned to the Castle empty-handed. The two argued, the two fought one another with swords in a battle which tore up the floor, and there under the ill omen of a dark shadow behind the little golden-haired girl the two parted. The boy was distraught, unseeing, uncaring, unaware of where he was going once more. It was raining. A young man, the elder brother, met him out in the rain with an umbrella and listened to his little brother's story. The two parted, the boy to return home to the two who ruined his happiness, the young man to disappear for a time. Hayate would never meet his Golden-haired Girl again... to atone, to apologize, to make up for wrongs done and words which shouldn't have been spoken in anger.

Now the long roll of years showed the boy growing up. Him exercising, working to pay for his parent's mistakes, and going to school. Birthdays spent at a lonely table in the Ayasaki Home, staring at a letter and an empty cake tin. The note saying:

_Dearest Hayate,_

_Sorry, but Momma and Poppa spent the money for your birthday on a big dream, and lost it all_

_at the horse track. Ha ha ha ha ha! Sorry about that. We left you a coupon for a free ten minute massage on the table, but Poppa spilled beer on it, so it's in the trash. If you want, you can try drying it out and use it at the parlor listed there. Momma loves their massages! You will too, I guarantee it!_

_Happy Birthday, my little boy! We love you very much!_

_Love,_

_Momma and Poppa._

The little Hayate started working as he was trying to go to school. Still none of the children would play with him or pay him much attention. Mizore saw a boy who had learned the meaning of love for a brief shining moment have it turned away from the world. His heart would grow to mistrust others as the tears for his missed love and his hopes for his parents dwindled to nothing. His only friends, none very close, would be other outcasts from society much like himself. Moving from job to job because they would invariably find out about his age, the years passed. Up until the day he would find an application for a private school in the path of his ten-speed.

The episode where the boy blackmailed his parents into letting him go way to school made Mizore feel a wash of satisfaction. Not enough that seeing them suffer in a cold Hell would, but still it warmed her heart to know Hayate could and would stand up for himself. She watched as he rode the way to catch the Youkai Bus, met the Driver, and wondered what the future would hold for him now. The scenes she was watching started happening faster and faster, coming to the present. The blond monstrel's attack on both Moka and Hayate, the meeting with the succubus Kurumu, the mishap in the Chemistry Club on Club Activities Day that broke the seal which had kept Shoujiro bound for so many years and altered Hayate back into what he'd been born to be. Hayate's new job here at Youkai, the first meeting between Shoujiro and the other two girls who Hayate had befriended, the day's events where Hayate had to go to school in drag, the Newspaper Club's Pervert President and what had just transpired on the roadside here. Mizore saw every imperfection and character flaw both boys had separately and shared, bore witness to their failings and their triumphs, their mistakes and their salient qualities. Knowing both were divided apart, yet the same young man, she fell in love from the bottom of her heart for the two. Especially this powerful, caring, outgoing and outreaching creature who accepted her wholeheartedly and returned that love back. No longer would she have to search and wait. The movie and slide show montage fell away and the world swam back into focus. The snow girl's vision watered and wavered as tears coursed down her cheeks.

_How could you you and he survive alone so long in that cruel world Shoujikun How did he keep from turning his back on human society and turning to a life of crime or mass murder My heart is breaking right now knowing you had no one not your brother no loving parents no one I had my mother at least and a comfortable home if lonely at times Not all families are like that one I can show you that much even if it takes me my entire life to do so if youll let me You will let me wont you Shoujikun Please let me Dont turn me away please I couldnt bear it not now after meeting like this You know me now know every little thing Ive even kept secret from Mother I have nothing left to hide from you my Powerful One my Caring One my Heart If you wish make me yours now I would bear the pain because its you Im with Because its you I can be myself as I was meant to be I am yours now and always._

The kiss from her, when it came, started as a chaste meeting of lips which rapidly gained power as mutual feelings rolled through each of the two in a circle of completion. Shoujiro had to be absolutely careful to not put any energy into it, so as to keep himself from claiming Mizore as his own slave. This he would _not_ do.

_This is why we must be careful Mizorechan Since I can do this I want you to remain untouched and untainted by the power I hold as much as I can I already made one mistake when I dived too deeply into you But I would do it all again without regret Beloved Not after what weve shared together But we mus tpart soon or the others who live or visit here will arrive They would harm you kill you even if they see you as a threat and I would not want any of you hurt because its for his sake Hayate has been through too much and I want him to understand and accept himself for who and what he is and what hes become And even though it hurts so much now we must let go of each other for now You will not remember as much as I of this time but you will still remember bits and pieces of it and the underlying feelings will never go away._

The incubus was the first to break the kiss. Not because he wanted to, oh no. But because he knew time was short. He'd already sensed the approach of the other two girls on the road some time ago. How long they'd been there while he was preoccupied was anyone else's guess. _Now_, however, he had to get Mizore out of there in a way which would leave them thinking she was under his power and not a threat to them or who they were worried about.

Since the wind had calmed down with night's falling, Shoujiro spoke to the snow girl in a tone of voice which might carry back to the other two. One of them being a vampire, she would be able to hear an _angel_ fart from across the campus if she were of a mind to listen for it. He put Mizore down and kept her head tilted back so he could see into her pale blue eyes.

**"Do you trust me, Mizore-chan?"**, he asked gently. The Yuki-onna nodded with a calm expression.

In a more forceful voice, but still in a gentle tone he said, **"You will forget what you've seen and heard this night, for your own safety and peace of mind. Your dreams shall not be troubled by what happened here, but shall instead be pleasant..."** He then put the Whammy on the shorter girl, turning her loose. The unspoken message he'd implanted into the Charm would be remembered in the morning when she awoke refreshed from her night's sleep. The Charmed snow girl walked back down the road, unmindful of the other two girls who lay in shadow along the roadside, both keeping their eyes on her until she disappeared from sight.

Shoujiro watched Mizore leave and then turned his attention back to the fallen tree on the path ahead. It wouldn't do to leave it here, and it was such a pain in the ass to bother with yanking it loose and chucking it as far as possible into the forest. So, he spit on one palm and concentrated. A ball of black energy formed in between his hands, gaining strength and size. When the ball of energy had reached what he felt to be a good size, Shoujiro cut loose with it at the fallen tree. The air where the ball hit the tree _winked_, fell in upon itself and collapsed, leaving a pile of dead branches on one side of the road and a bunch of roots jutting up out of the ground on the other side. In the space the ball had hit was _nothing_, not dust nor chips. A layer of the road was gone also. Hayate's other half nodded in satisfaction.

**"Gravity. It's not just for holding things down anymore."**, Shoujiro quipped and laughed.

The naked incubus looked down at himself and sighed. He needed something to wear, _anything_ but more girl's clothes.

**"I hope Hayate has some clean sweats around to wear. It feels like it's gonna be a chilly night."**, the blunette Lilim male grumbled to himself.

Moka would definitely pay for that one. She wouldn't know when or how, but payback was coming her way, and it would be a real bastard. He wanted no part of the questions which were to come up if those two caught up with him now. As far as he was concerned, he owed them _nothing_.

* * *

><p>The girls who'd been watching the whole spectacle, from the point where Shoujiro had manifested the sword blades from nowhere up until now, watched silently while the incubus walked off into the distance towards the Guest House. They each shared a look.<p>

"That was... unexpected", Moka understated, visibly shaken.

"You sure have a talent for stating the obvious, don't you Sherlock?" the disturbed and busty blunette shot back in a mildly pithy comment. _That_ had not been in any of the stories her mother had told her while growing up about past incubi or their abilities. Kurumu had only met a couple of incubi in her life so far. One so old he gave Methuselah a run for his money, and the other a popular playboy at a Vegas hotspot her mother and Auntie would often visit for the variety.

To say Incubi were rare would be understating matters a bit much. _Only_ an Incubus could father an Incubus upon a Succubus who was that Succubus' Destined One. Because of the rarity of the births of incubi, who were considered legendary in their fertility alongside notable races such as vampire males, coupled with extremely high levels of compatibility between the two Lilim genders _should_ have ensured many many more of both... but that wasn't the case for some reason. Only the elders among her kind might know the reason why.

She put the kibosh on that line of thought. Now wasn't the time for idle speculation. Tomorrow, after class was over, she'd have to call her mother and let her know what was going on. About Hayate, about his emotional problems and alter ego... about _this_.

"You're the smart one, Moka. Maybe you could... I dunno... check the library at school for something about this?", Kurumu wondered. "Anyway, I doubt _he's_ gonna want to see either of us at the moment, so I'm gonna head back to my room. Catch you tomorrow!" So deciding, the cyan-headed girl waved farewell to the pinkette vampire and took to the air on her own wings.

* * *

><p>Moka hated feeling useless... a feeling with which she was becoming more and more familiar as of late where a certain boy butler was concerned. Her Inner Self was silent at the moment. What <em>that<em> boded, she wasn't sure. One thing she was sure of: something would need to be done, and _fast_, or all her hard work to win over the boy's heart would be all for naught. First there had been Kurumu, and now there was this snow girl! Just how many girls would he gather around himself with his nice manners and kind ways?

Maybe Ura-chan would have an answer or three in the morning after she awoke. The pink-haired girl certainly hoped so.

* * *

><p>In the Academy Administration's Building, a lone figure in a white priest's hooded frock stood at a window watching the panoramic view of the campus at night. It <em>had<em> been shaping up to be a quiet night, up until the disturbance at the western area of the Great Barrier. That last blast of energy, compressed into an increasingly tight space had punched a brief... _very_ brief... hole in the fabric of space-time. Luckily, the Barrier had held out long enough for the singularity to sort itself out and close. _This_ time. Another such blast of gravitc energy of higher intensity or longer duration? Doubtful.

He'd have to move fast before the Ayasaki boy inadvertently revealed the location of this school to outside forces, and the presence of monsters to humanity. There were several options on the table, and perhaps the first might work best: calling the boy's previous employer of note, Miss Athena Tennousu. At the very least she could explain exactly just what she did to enhance him. If not, then maybe having her meet the boy somewhere might work even better. Otherwise, as much as it would pain him to do so, the other options available would need to be considered. None of them conducive to Ayasaki Hayate-kun's continued health or existence.

Even so, for this school with the goals and ambitions for all Monsterkind's continued survival in mind, he'd kill kittens and puppies cheerfully enmasse without loss of sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The next morning, in Room 106 of the Girl's Dormitory... <strong>_

... An alarm went off, causing its sole occupant to come awake with a start. She had just been having one of the most pleasant dreams she could remember since coming here to this school, and she was loathe to leave her warm safe bed, but for one important thing: it was empty except for her.

Putting a hand to her face, Mizore felt tears coursing down her cheeks. It hadn't been imagined... it hadn't been a dream. She recalled with vivid clarity what had taken place last night on that road out in the middle of nowhere. There were bits and pieces missing of the whole puzzle, just as _he_ had said to her, but the overall impressions had stayed and those drove her now to get ready for the day's classes.

As she showered, Mizore continued to ruminate over the message that her Shouji-kun had left for her hidden under the Charm to Forget. She had things to do today, including making a call home to Mother. The snow girl smiled happily.

"Soon... very soon, Shouji-kun... nothing will _ever_ keep us apart."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next Chapter: Calls Made &amp; Ammo Loaded!<strong>_

_**Be there for it!**_

* * *

><p><span>Author's Notes:<span> I'm kind of tired of apologizing for things which keep me from writing, but as they say 'Shit Happens'. I had a month full of Writer's Block, where I wasn't sure which way to take this storyline. I _did_ mention before how chaotic my thoughts generally are, right? That's why I'm such a bastard when it comes to proofreading my own work: I'm never happy with the final product. I just wanna redo it, and then _nothing_ gets published. Bleh.

Still dealing with doctors on a weekly basis. I should probably bring a comforter and pillow, I sit in waiting rooms so much lol. Back to what's going on...

Some of you may see different literary or movie influences in what I did this chapter. That wasn't intentional. But when you're as old as I am and have seen as many movies or read as many books as I have... _especially_ books... things start to blur a lot. I _am_ borrowing heavily from mythology as well as some of my own ideas as to what an incubus can or cannot do. Hayate (or Shoujiro) are a special case at any rate.

And before anyone screams 'God Mode Sue!', remember that Saizou is an absolute _pussy _compared to, say Kuyou or Hokuto. Those two guys haven't made their respective appearances on stage yet as it is, but when they do... Oh hoho_ho_ _shit_. Besides, do you think monsters like incubi don't have their own set of weaknesses? They have not come into play yet, but they will.

One more thing to consider: Hayate doesn't seem to have the same grasp of his potential that Shoujiro does. Does this mean he'll eventually be able to do the things Shoujiro can? Maybe. Maybe not. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

Until next time... and that should be soon the way I'm giggling over the next chapter's contents and what might happen after... take care of yourselves, my Dear Readers! I'll do the same, or try to. And have a Happy and Safe Halloween!

This is the Priest, signing off.


	7. Calls Made & Ammo Loaded!

**Disclaimer: Don't own nuthin', don't get any royalties for anything which isn't mine, so leave me _alone!_**

-: telepathic communication.

_"_"_: speech which can be heard through such devices as Phones, TVs, Crystal Balls, etc.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7: Calls Made &amp; Ammo Loaded!<span>

6:30 AM. The alarm went off in the boy butler's room. An arm swung out and smashed it into the floor, breaking it. The nightstand fared little better, becoming about ten pounds of kindling.

The bed's occupant put said arm across his face in annoyance. What should have been a leisurely transfer of control while sleeping just got more complicated. The other inhabitant of the body was still unconscious.

Shoujiro sighed. tiredly. Things weren't going according to plan today so far. Hayate was still out of it. Had the shock of being told you were never a human _that_ harsh and unacceptable? Or was it a series of the events going on which contributed to his breakdown? He wasn't a head shrink, so all he could do was make guesses all he liked. Anyway, the day wasn't gonna sort itself out, so he might as well make the most of it and just deal with it.

Changing into the sweats he'd been wearing the night before after the incident with Saizou and Mizore, Shoujiro went into the kitchen area to see if maybe the new uniforms had been delivered yet. Something smelled _really_ good. The box was just inside the door leading to the garage. Looked like Moka had signed for them. Hearing a noise from further in towards the breakfast nook in the kitchen, the cautious incubus padded silently further into the kitchen area. On the other end of the 'L' shaped section of the kitchens he saw the pink-headed Moka setting something up on the table. It was breakfast.

He didn't really want to deal with either of the two Mokas right now, but it was early and this body hadn't eaten since earlier in the evening yesterday, and that hadn't been nearly enough. His stomach gave away his presence to the other person with a loud roar of challenge. She spun around quickly holding a large fork, from which was hanging a sausage. It smelled divine to the young man.

Moka relaxed and gave him a once-over. She raised a cotton candy-colored eyebrow. "Hayate?"

Shaking his head ruefully, Shoujiro sighed. "He's not conscious yet."

For just a moment a look of utter devastation crossed the girl's face before she regained control of her emotions. "If you like... you can join me for breakfast.", Moka offered. There were sausages and scrambled eggs, home-fried potatoes with onions, toast and coffee. A simple repast from a Western point of view.

Smiling a bit, Shoujiro accepted the offer. "Thanks. And thanks for signing for the school uniforms, by the way." He took a seat opposite the pinkette and dug in.

For several minutes, there was no talk but for the clatter of silverware on plates or the swish of napkins being used to wipe grease off chins and mouths. Moka was the first to speak up during a lull in the meal.

"So... Shoujiro, was it?", she put aside her napkin and folded her arms on the table in front of her. "Why aren't you treating me the same way you would my inner self?"

He stopped cutting a sausage... his eighth... and put down the cutlery he was using. "Well, Moka, I don't blame _you_ for what your hyper bitch half does because you're two distinct personalities. Now if _she_ were out here, I'd have some words for her... oh I dunno... say, about how if she has a problem with me she takes it up with _me_ and not someone who won't fight back against her like, say Hayate.", he told her matter-of-factly.

Blushing with embarrassment, Moka apologized. "I'm sorry about that. She's not easy to get along with at the best of times. Even _I_ disagree with her on occasion."

Waving one hand in negation, the incubus demurred. "Nah... like I said, you are your own person. By the way, is she awake right now?"

Shaking her pink head, the teenage girl took a sip of coffee before speaking. "She hasn't said one word to me since yesterday at the cafeteria. The botched explanation and aftermath", Moka said bitterly.

Pursing his lips, Shoujiro whistled soundlessly. "That bad, huh? Hayate's thoughts and actions were barely coherent before I got my rude awakening last night."

"What _did_ happen last night, Shoujiro-san?", Moka asked curiously, all thoughts of continuing the meal forgotten for the moment.

Taking a gulp of his black coffee, the blue-haired incubus thought, _'Well, she _was_ considerate enough to take care of the delivery and had enough breakfast for me, so I owe her for _that _much.' _ Clearing his throat, Shoujiro said, "First off, let's skip the formality, Moka. I wasn't the one raised in a Japanese household; _Hayate_ was. Being polite doesn't equate with being nice in my book, and I'd prefer to just say what's on my mind. Second... I'm not sure about everything that _did_ happen last night." He scratched his head in befuddlement. "One minute I'm dreaming of seducing Lady Gaga in her latest dress, a beef jerky number, and the next thing I know I'm catching a straight punch from the gorilla who tried raping you and flattening my other half." Shoujiro didn't pay much attention to her blush at the mention of wooing the pop diva. He'd heard the front door bell ring.

"Expecting company this early?", he asked Moka. It was 6:58 AM. Just another lazy weekday morning at Youkai Private Academy.

"No. Considering how far we are from the dorms, we... Hayate and I... don't meet Kurumu until we enter school grounds, if not in class before the final bell", the vampire girl answered, just as confused as he.

***~Ding-Dong!~***

"C'mon", the blunette boy said and suited action to words. He didn't wait to see if Moka followed him or not.

Both teenagers made their way into the foyer, the door bell ringing for the seventh time. The sweat-suited incubus motioned for Moka to take the initiative and open the front door.

It was Kurumu. The succubus looked a bit distracted because she hadn't noticed the other person next to the pink-haired vampire yet. It looked like it had been a rough night for her as well. Dark circles had made appearances around each eye, giving her a look similar to a raccoon's.

"Morning, Moka! I just thought of a few things to-", she stopped in mid-sentence finally catching sight of the pinkette's companion. Kurumu's purple eyes looked him up and down, finally settling about his face. Her eyes hardened into chunks of amethyst and the fullness of her lips pulled into a thin line. The busty succubus marched through the open door approaching the neutral faced incubus. Her arm moved in a blur.

***Smack!***

Holding a hand to his stinging left cheek, which was already starting to show a palm-shaped red mark, Shoujiro gave a lopsided grin to the seething blunette female. "G'morning to you too, beautiful. Was that more foreplay, or were you just being a big tease again?", he asked Kurumu, his eyes dancing mischievously.

"You big jerk!", the incensed girl retorted hotly. "you didn't even bother to explain things! I spent the other night crying myself to sleep because I thought _Hayate_ had snapped at me!"

Shoujiro narrowed his eyes. "I think I explained things well enough. When a girl starts grinding her ass into your crotch like an electric pencil sharpener (Moka started blushing heavily at this point, imagining the scene playing out), knocks you to the floor for some tongue jousting, and tearing her clothes off one minute to getting redressed and accusing you of duplicity, meanwhile leaving you with a hard-on and nowhere to put it a guy's gotta think: _'either she's bipolar, or she's nothing more than a big flirt and cock-tease'_. And although you sure seem to swing from one emotion to another real quick, I don't think you fit the definition of bipolar. You fit the definition of a _teenage girl_." He considered his next words carefully, because this girl wasn't all there in the brains department, and difficult words might throw her. "And as for you saying you cried _yourself _to sleep? If you knew... if you only _knew_ how many tears _Hayate_ had shed over the years you'd quit being such a whiny baby and join a convent, because there'd be no hope for you out there in the real world. Grow up, Kurumu-_chan_." The unsealed youkai boy folded his arms together, his face a stony mien.

"And what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?", Kurumu asked irately, blowing a strand of light blue hair out of her face.

The incubus just threw his hands up in frustration. "You know what? I give up." He turned to his green-eyed companion. "Shall we finish breakfast? I'd hate to see it go to waste by getting cold, which it probably is now", Shoujiro noted mournfully.

The pink-haired vampiress giggled. "Nothing a few minutes in a microwave won't fix, Shoujiro-kun."

"Ahhh yes, the microwave. The bane of, and answer to, mankind's culinary issues", Shoujiro noted again, mock-sagely. It earned him another giggle from the pinkette cook and a glower from the fuming succubus.

"Hey! Don't go ignoring me! Wait up!", Kurumu yelled out, following the two back to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Laughing with a hand to her stomach while she placed a plate of food next to the still ill-tempered Lilim female, Moka said, "So <em>that's<em> what happened. Now why doesn't that surprise me?" She passed the plate and a smile to Kurumu.

Jabbing her fork into a sausage like she intended to mangle it, Kurumu took a huge bite out of it and grimaced while chewing. "Glad to ***chew chew*** see you have a ***gulp*** sense of humor too, Moka", she finished saying throughout the process of demolishing her breakfast.

"I wonder if speaking fluently with your mouth full counts as a learned skill or innate for a succubus?", mused Shoujiro aloud with a grin plastered on his face as he watched both girls talk. He'd cradled his head on his left arm, chin resting between thumb and forefinger, cheek against the palm. This sent the pink-haired girl into a fresh bout of laughter as she caught his meaning. Kurumu gave him a kick under the table.

"Geez! Watch that instep, girl... they're murder on the shins!", Shoujiro complained, rubbing his lower leg where she'd hit with her hard-soled black patent leather loafer.

"I would if you were _nicer_ to me!", the sour succubus huffed.

"I tried that once, and it's gotten me nothing but trouble since!", he retorted.

"Well try _harder_, then!", Kurumu screamed, looking to get the last word in.

"Nice to see you two getting along so well", Moka interjected, a bright smile on her face.

They turned to her with equal expressions of incredulous outrage on their faces.

"Are you smoking crack, Moka?/You call _this_ getting along?", they both asked nearly simultaneously. The Rosario-wearing girl couldn't take it and broke down into hysterical laughter again.

Wiping tears of hilarity from her eyes, she said, "No and yes, to answer both of you. Like little kids who get into each other's hair but still play together."

Shoujiro just gave Moka a deadpan expression. "_Riiight_." He stood up from the table and faced her. "Again, thanks for the meal, Moka. I'm off to get dressed." Taking his leave, he grabbed the box of clothes from its spot by the back door and went into the Servant's Wing.

The two girls watched as the blue-haired male left. Kurumu was the first to open her mouth.

"But really, Moka, what's the deal... breakfast with _him_?"

Moka shrugged. "It wasn't as bad as you might think, Kurumu. At first I thought it was Hayate myself. I had planned on making breakfast for the both of us since I had the opportunity to be up before him and Ura-chan is still asleep." She made herself another cup of coffee from the big thermos she'd left on the table. "Shoujiro was actually pretty down-to-earth and easy to talk to. He's rough around the edges, but I guess when you're 3 to 4 going on 15 with no parents involved in your raising, it's a wonder he isn't somehow _worse_."

"I'll say he's rough around the edges. I get blunt force trauma just from him talking alone.", Kurumu grumbled. "Anyway, what're you talking about with '3-4 going on 15'?"

"Remember what I said last night about Shoujiro being like Ura-chan?" At the attentively listening succubus' nod, Moka continued. "Well, it turns out he was sealed away for almost 12 years by his mother for reasons yet unknown."

Kurumu whistled in amazement. "How the hell is he speaking so well then? Shouldn't he be using baby words?"

"Your guess is as good as mine there. You'd probably have to ask him yourself."

The usually perky blunette rolled her eyes. "Like _that's_ gonna happen anytime soon."

"Try being a little more open-minded, Kurumu. You never know...", Moka trailed off meaningfully. She finished her coffee and stood up. "Anyway, I have to get the dishes done before we leave. Have some more to eat or drink if you like." So saying, she started stacking the used dishes and silverware and made a beeline to the scullery machine.

While the pink-haired vampire was sticking dirty pots and dishes into the machine, Kurumu chewed on some buttered toast and gave some thought to what had been said so far. The morning hadn't started off on a good note. Hayate wasn't here and the interloper, his original personality, was. Was Hayate hiding in a (figuratively speaking) shell, and if so how to get him to come out?

_'Maybe I'll have to skip lunch to call Mom rather than wait until after class. I want the Old Hayate back, not this New one... _old_ new one... ugh.' _ She grimaced as she finished the toast.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the school gates, the group of three were surprised to see four individuals in black uniforms with yellow armbands waiting. Before any of the group could cross the threshold of the gates, the one in front, a tall specimen with long blond hair and a vulpine cast to his facial features spoke.<p>

"Ayasaki Hayate, you have been summoned to the Academy Headmaster's office. Come with us."

"I see", the liveried Lilim said with a half-lidded stare at the four. _'Might as well see what the Old Spook wants'_. He turned to the two girls behind him. "I'll meet up with you ladies later." Shoujiro walked through the school gates and was surrounded on four sides by the three young men and one young woman in those black Matrix knockoff dusters. Students who had arrived early for preclass instruction or club activities made rapid and frightened space for the group of five to move through. Most of the watching students had looks of pity, along with more than a few of vicious joy, for the plight (imagined or otherwise) of the blue-haired male.

Shoujiro noted the feel and smell of each of his guards as they drifted close enough to him. The tall blond one smelled of blood and burning... flesh. _Not_ a good sign. His aura flared like a forest fire in angry reds, muddy orange and greyish black shot through with muddy yellow. _'Oh, this guy's a real winner'_, the incubus thought sarcastically to himself, _'Ambitious, prideful, and pissed as hell about having to pick me up this morning.' _ Eying the young woman with long black hair to his left, he noticed her eying _him_ with a measuring almost hungry look. That, and what he got from her spooked Shoujiro a bit. The scent of silk and sweet poison. _'Oh yes, a wonderful young lady indeed.'_ He decided against looking at her any longer, not sure if he _really_ wanted to see what she might be thinking or feeling at the moment. The other two student guards he couldn't really concentrate on enough for an aural reading except for their scents: one smelled like sandalwood incense and also something earthy, like dirt or stone, and the other one smelled of ozone and jasmine incense. Raising both eyebrows higher Shoujiro wondered, _'Elementals?'_ He ran down the list of evidence in his head. _'Okay, the guy in front is some kind of fire-user, and a particularly _nasty _one at that. The chippy to my left giving off the Wednesday Addams vibes is some kind of silk-making poisonous insect type. But the other two... let's call 'em mooks... one seems to be aligned with earth and the second one is some kind of air or lightning type. Individually, I could _probably_ take them... that fire-user _might_ be a problem though. All together? It's likely to be a pyrrhic victory. Too dicey for my taste. Better not try anything... yet'_, he decided. Settling the matter in his mind, he kept pace with his guard detail.

* * *

><p>Moka and Kurumu watched as their companion got taken away. Students who had been bottle-necked waiting started to push through the school gates.<p>

"I wonder who those guys were?", Moka asked with a quizzical look.

"_That_, girls, was the Academy's Public Safety Commission", Kagome Ririko-sensei put in as she came to a stop near the two. The male students hung back for a while admiring the view. Chuckling, the busty brunette math teacher continued. "I always thought Hayate-kun would be trouble, just not how much. What a naughty, _naughty_ boy he is." She pushed her glasses a bit higher on the bridge of her nose and smiled mysteriously.

"Any other day, Sensei, and I'd disagree with you", Kurumu said, giving the bespectacled lady the eye. "This time, however, you have _no_ idea how correct you are. C'mon, Moka. If it's not that bad, we'll probably see him later." She led the still confused vampire away from Kagome-sensei and off into the main school building.

Perhaps calling her mother would be best done _now_, homeroom be damned.

* * *

><p>The black-suited group filed into the Headmaster's inner office with minimal delay. Shoujiro idly thought that the hooded Priest looked more like a white-robed Jawa wearing glasses. With the amount of youki practically <em>screaming<em> from the Old Spook the slightly worried young man pondered if he'd maybe made a mistake somewhere. _'I could go for a thermal detonator about now.'_

"Ayasaki Hayate, as you commanded, Mikogami-sama", the tall blond intoned in an almost bored fashion.

**"Yes, yes, thank you. You may go, Kuyou."** With a dismissive wave the false Priest turned his attention to the man of the hour. The blond gave Shoujiro a cold look and then turned on his heel, leaving the way he'd entered from, his flunkies following in his wake. The door closed.

**"Well, well, Ayasaki-kun. I didn't quite expect to have you visit me this early in the morning, but matters are afoot which I cannot nor _will not_ tolerate." **

Scratching his head, the blue-headed boy drawled, "Y'know, there is such an invention called the telephone, Old Man. Y'know, that thing by your desk's right side? The old-fashioned thing with the ivory handle? You pick that up and dial the set of numbers you need to in order to talk to someone... you should _try_ it sometime." Half seriously and half sarcastically saying as such, he pantomimed picking up the phone handset and dialing something.

**"Some things need to be said or done in person, Ayasaki-kun"**, the Headmaster replied while taking his glasses off. **"Now, tell me what you were planning to do by using gravity to punch a hole in the space-time continuum?" **

Blinking, Shoujiro said without thinking too much about it, "Garbage disposal."

Head jerking back in shock, the White-Robed Figure's eyes widened. **"Let me get this straight. You used a quantum singularity, in essence a black hole... which consequently nearly _broke_ the Great Barrier last night in doing so... just to get rid of some _rubbish?_" **

Shoujiro thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "That's right."

Trembling with the effort to keep his seat, the false Priest exclaimed, _**"Are you insane? **_**Do you have any idea of the possible consequences of your actions, boy?" **

Having the good sense to at least look sheepish, the incubus smiled apologetically. "Oops?"

Rubbing his face with one hand, the hooded headmaster silently counted down from ten. _'Don't lose your cool. The boy may not understand the nature of what he's doing. Explain it to him so he can understand. _Then_ scare the stupid right out of him.' _ He cleared his throat.

**"Oops doesn't even _begin_ to cover the severity of what you've nearly done, Ayasaki-kun. If the Great Barrier goes down this school, indeed the very existence of the supernatural world, would be unveiled for humanity's disclosure. Imagine, if you would, what might happen if one of _your_ kind were to wind up in some government or private company's laboratory as a specimen. It would be like finding Pandora's Box all over again. And if a single _vampire_ should be captured somehow... well, I shudder to think of the massacre which would ensue as humanity tries desperately to find and remove any trace of monsters from its midst, and monsters would likewise begin to suspect their fellows of being former human spies and saboteurs. Is this a clear enough picture for you, Ayasaki-kun, to see where your reckless action might have led us?" ** Mikogami folded his hands in front of himself. **"What have you to say for yourself, Ayasaki-kun? Aside from 'Oops'." **

Opening his mouth and raising a finger to make a point, Shoujiro stopped for a moment and tried to start again. He did this a couple of times while the headmaster watched, waiting for his answer. The nonplussed young man sighed and spread his arms in a shrug.

"I guess... I'm sorry is all I _can_ say. Not that I particularly care about this school or the students here who make life more difficult than it needs to be, but there _are_ a few people here who I wouldn't want to put in harm's way." He let his arms drop to his sides. "So, now what? Am I being expelled? Is that why you called me up here?"

**"That _is_ an option still on the table, young man. Your continued enrollment depends on your willingness to make up for your past mistake. Agree to forgo using the same ability which you used to make the black hole last night and this matter will be considered behind us. If you persist in using that power while under the Barrier, well... I may have no choice but to seal your youkai nature away, or at the most extreme take matters into _my own_ hands."** The look the White-Robed Headmaster of Youkai Academy gave Shoujiro was accompanied by a very brief wave of killing intent.

Shoujiro felt a stab of fear when he thought of the possibility of being locked away in the dark again. Only this time _Hayate_ would also be locked away. This scared the incubus more than the Headmaster's threat of corporeal/capital punishment did. The kid didn't deserve anymore shit to deal with right now.

Seeing his strategy for bringing the Ayasaki boy to heel working, the Headmaster relaxed his posture a bit.

**"Now, despite the number of reports I've been getting about your increasingly erratic behavior I'm also hearing some good things about you as well. Mainly things to do with your grades and your duties as a butler. I _was_ considering suspending you from your duties, but I'm not going to until these changes in your behavior start affecting your performance. As it is I'll be calling for an expert to come and test you." **

_'Shit... the Altar Boy Chaser is bringing in a _shrink_. Things are just getting better and better'_, Shoujiro grumbled to himself. He raised a hand.

**"What is it, Ayasaki-kun?"**

"Will this 'expert' interfere at all in my current lifestyle? In school or outside of it while he's... while _I'm_ working?" _'***whew!*** I almost slipped up there.' _ The nervous bluehead sweatdropped.

The eyes of the fake Priest narrowed to slits as they appraised the young man. This time they swept over him from head to toe, paying particular attention to the thoracic region around his body center. Those blazing white eyes then went to his face.

**"Tell me, Ayasaki-kun... has anything... _strange..._ been happening to you lately? And although it may be thought of as off-topic, I must say that is a _lovely_ shade of blue your eyes have developed... seeing as how nearly a week ago they were lighter blue in color. _Quite_ remarkable." **

Wondering if perhaps the Old Spook really _did_ go to bat for the other team, Shoujiro nervously smiled. "Heh heh, I'm kind of... _attached_ to them myself. And as for _strange_, whatever goes on around here every day as 'normal' could be considered 'strange' where I grew up, Sir."

Chucking benignly, the Headmaster put back on his glasses. **"Quite. Now, I'm certain you wouldn't want to miss the final bell and get a tardy mark on your record, so I'm letting you go with the warning _this_ time. When the time comes you'll be called for those psychological evaluations. Until then _try_ to keep your nose clean, young man"**, he warned.

"Sure! May I go, then?", Shoujiro half-turned towards the door, relieved to finally have this done and over with.

Gesturing to the door of his office with a casual movement, the school's head nodded. **"Go on. Just remember to keep your emotions in check."**

Agreeing to do just that, the black-clad young man quickly made his escape. After the doors had shut closed another presence within the room drifted from the corner where it had been silently observing the proceedings from the deep shadows. The figure of the Bus Driver smirked as he placed a Corona Gigantes between his teeth and lit it with a gloved finger.

**"That boy positively _reeks_ of Chaos, old friend"**, the Driver noted while puffing on the clipped end of his Cuban cigar. The air soon filled with the aromatic blend of tobacco and hints of coffee.

**"Hmm... maybe I should have put a Lock on him then, just to play it safe"**, the Academy head mused out loud.

The Driver shook his head. **"He would probably just look for a way around the Lock's restrictions, given _his _act."**

Sighing with as much frustration as resignation, the white-frocked figure straightened his posture. **"I guess it's time to bring in the other candidate, then. He _might_ be a good stabilizing factor for the Ayasaki boy." **

**"You want me to bring him in now_?_"**, the Driver asked with a raised eyebrow.

**"No. I think this can wait until the week before Golden Week in Japan. The other students will be going through their midterms, and he should have enough time to get his feet wet, so to speak."** Mikogami Tenmei reached for a folder which had been sitting on the left side of his desk, put there earlier by his aide. He opened the folder to look at the inside. On the first page with a photo could be read:

Name: Aono Tsukune.

Age: 15.

Sex: Male.

Birthday: June 22.

Birthplace: Tokyo, Japan.

Blood Type: AB.

Hair Color: Brown.

Eye Color: Brown.

Monster Type: -

Family: Aono Koji (Father), Aono Kasumi (Mother), Aono Kyouko (Cousin).

Physical Traits: Average.

Mental Traits: Average.

Academic Grades: Average.

Supplementary Notes: The subject displays little in the way of notable contributing factors in school life other than his willingness to be open and his gentle disposition. He failed the entrance exam for a local high school and is currently a ronin student. Other considerations aside, the subject scored very highly on the list of qualities wanted for the 'special program' at Youkai Private Academy.

**END REPORT**

The photo shows a young man smiling gently at the camera. His hair is a scruffy dark brown and chocolate brown eyes sparkle in the flash of the camera. The Headmaster of Youkai Academy closed the report folder and put it back on the desk.

_'I might as well get started with the first call of the day I'll have to make'_, he thought shaking his head tiredly while picking up his office phone's handle and dialing a number.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Meanwhile, in the office of the Chairman of the School Board of Directors at <strong>__**a certain a**__**cademy in the Human World...**_

... the phone rang prompting one of its occupants, a white-haired young man in a dark gray livery suit, to pick up the handset to answer it.

"This is the office of Board Chairwoman Athena Tennōs. The Mistress isn't available right now so... hmm? Oh! Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir, I'll tell her now." He held his hand over the phone's mouthpiece and said in low tones, "Athena, it's the Head of Youkai Academy on the line for you. He says the matter is of some urgency." The young man held the handset to the blond woman sitting behind her desk sipping a cup of tea. She let out a breath in frustration and set the tea cup down on its saucer.

"I swear, if it's not one thing this morning it's another. First with the building contractors about the new gym being built, and now this", she grumbled quietly to herself taking the phone from her butler's outstretched hand. She put her hand over the mouth piece.

"Machina, please leave the room, and make sure _no one_ disturbs me while I'm on the phone", Athena ordered. The young man, Machina, bowed and left the room, making sure to close the door behind him.

Taking her hand off the mouth piece, the young blond heiress of the Tennōs Family held the phone to her ear. "This is Athena Tennōs speaking. To what do I owe the honor of your call _this early_, Mikogami-sama?", she asked, stressing the earliness of the call. An eerie chuckle graced her ear.

_**"If you think having to deal with contractors is bad dear girl, try dealing with the students which necessitate the need for such people on a semesterly basis because of damage to parts of the school. **_**Then**_** come back to me and complain."**_ Clearing his throat, the school head of Youkai continued. _**"But other than the obvious, how are things in your neck of the woods, child?"**_

"Well enough, I suppose. The students here don't really cause any trouble, the seasons change on schedule like always, and time marches on. It's _too_ boring sometimes, I think. Now, what urgent matter did you have to talk to me about, Sir?" Athena picked up her cup of tea and took a sip. It wouldn't do to let it go to waste. Good lapsang souchong tea from the Wuyi region was getting harder to acquire these days, and the tea tasted best while still hot.

_**"I was just calling to inquire about a former employee of yours. It was a while ago, but I believe **__**you may still remember this person. Does the name Ayasaki Hayate ring any bells?"**_

Athena did a spit-take, spewing her mouthful of tea across the papers on her desk. Coughing violently, she grabbed her handkerchief to clean up the mess. "It _has_ been a while since I last heard that name, Mikogami-sama. How did _you_ come across it, taking into account the type of school you run?"

Seeing the scene in his mind of the little bit of chaos he'd brought into the life of Athena Tennōs, Headmaster Mikogami laughed. _**"The lad is actually one of my first year students. A rather troubled and troublesome one, to be sure."**_

A pit forming in her stomach, the young head of Hakuou Academy felt slightly faint. _'What is Hayate doing in a school for _monsters_?'_, she thought, her mind whirling with the implications. _'He'd be torn apart if any of those other students even got a whiff that he was a __**human**__! I've got to get him out of there somehow, and _soon_.'_ Marshaling her voice so as to not let her emotions show, Athena addressed her elder.

"How is it that Hayate came to be enrolled in your school, Sir? I must ask because of his racial origins. You _are_ aware that he's human?" She bit her thumb, worrying it a bit. Not ladylike behavior, but she felt the situation called for it, screw etiquette.

_**"We have a 'special program' here at Youkai Academy... to foster better understanding with humans, so that the rest of Monsterkind may coexist peacefully with Humankind. Hayate-kun is the first candidate who was tapped for the special scholarship given to select humans to attend here for that purpose."**_

"So basically you give someone a free scholarship, all expenses paid, to what amounts to a youkai meat-grinder, all to fulfill some long distant and probably impossible goal of coexistence... yet you have that rule where humans are killed on discovery. _**And you threw Hayate into that deathtrap maze?"**_ Her saffron colored eyes turned completely white and her carefully coiffed blond hair drifted around her head. An aura of ineffable power filled the room as the Hakuou Head Director seemed to gain height in her rising fury.

_**"Temper, temper, child. As it is the issue of Hayate-kun being in danger of getting killed for being human is now a moot one."**_

As quickly as the surge of power came it went, causing the young woman to slump back into her chair. "Don't go jerking my chain, old man, just because you _can_. Now what do you mean by 'it's a moot issue'?" Just _talking_ with Mikogami Tenmei was starting to give her a migraine.

_**"By that I mean you no longer need worry. He's made a few friends here, it seems. Friends who **_**might**_** be counted upon to come to his aid if he needs it. Unless you'd prefer to come to the school yourself to ascertain his health and well-being. We're a bit off-topic about what I actually wanted to ask you though."**_

"Alright, Mikogami-sama... shoot." Maybe visiting the school _would_ be useful.

_**"Hayate-kun came to my office looking for a job last week. I asked for work references and he gave me your name, though not without some pushing on my part."**_ A chuckle. _**"It seems like **_**someone**_** did something to his body at one time to strengthen it... some kind of reinforcement spell, perhaps. **__**Might you have knowledge of such a spell, given your family's lineage and the blood which flows in **__**your veins?"**_

_'Hades' Balls, _that's_ how he got picked! Oh, Hayate, I'm so sorry I ever cast that spell on you now.'_ The beautiful young woman jammed her other hand in a fist against her mouth to hold back a sob from escaping her lips, not wanting the old ghoul on the other end from hearing (and quite possibly enjoying) her reaction. _'It's always me causing you misery... always me.'_ Athena pushed down the sorrow and guilt to where it would not bother her for now so she could answer the Youkai headmaster.

"I only know of one, Mikogami-sama. It's a Kabbalistic spell ritual designed to grant the Body of (a) God to the one on which it is cast. That person may then reach their body's fullest potential in time. But what does asking this have to do with Hayate, Sir?"

_**"Can the spell be reversed, child? Answer truthfully."**_ The youkai Lord's voice held a no-nonsense tone.

"No, sir, it can't."

A sigh sounded from the other end. _**"Then it seems I'll have no other choice should things get much worse. I'll have to seal away his nature along with his personality."**_

Gripping the phone with both hands, Athena fought to keep her emotions in check. "It can't be _that_ bad, Mikogami-sama. For a human all that spell would do is allow the body's strength, speed, and toughness to increase. Why go so far for that?"

_**"The problem isn't in his humanity... of which there **_**isn't****_ any... it's in the fact that he nearly destroyed the Barrier protecting this school last night."_**

"W-What? How-how did he manage that? And explain what do you mean by him having no humanity, Sir? I lived with Hayate for almost four months, and not _**once**_ did I see any hints that he was anything other than an ordinary sweet six year old boy."

_**"An incident at the school involving Ayasaki-kun resulted in his acquiring the form and abilities of a youkai, which seems to be under the effect of the spell cast on him. Using one of the abilities granted by this enhanced youkai nature, he punched a hole through the fabric of reality with an extremely small singularity. For a rather idiotic reason, I might add. He seems to be showing signs of a mental breakdown as well, but so far is still functional. My main concern is that he doesn't destroy the school inadvertently or reveal the presence of monsters to humanity. And I'll take steps to keep that from happening however I must." **_The voice of the false Priest was deadly serious.

"I-I... wait. I need to see him to know what's happening." _'Hayate, a youkai? Preposterous. Even if it _is_ true, what could have caused that? The Old Man isn't exactly telling me everything I want to hear'_, she thought to herself.

_**"I can make arrangement for lodgings here at the campus, if you like. Simply let me know when is a good time for you. But make certain that that time is soon, as I do **_**not****_ want this matter to go for too long."_**

Flipping her rotary calendar around, Athena checked what was scheduled through April. "I can probably get away from the Academy the weekend just before midterms, The week of midterms and Golden Week I have meetings to attend in Europe and here in Japan. I can give you that Saturday and Sunday, Sir."

_**"Excellent. I'll have you penciled in for those days. You'll be staying at the Main Guest House here. Bring your manservant if you like, there'll be room for him as well. And while you're here checking on Ayasaki-kun, I have an idea I'd like to run past you. We won't discus it now. I've held you up long enough from your morning break as it is. Aside from the serious business it was a pleasure talking to you again, Athena-chan. Good bye."**_ The phone line clicked as Youkai Academy's headmaster hung up.

Setting the phone back on its cradle, the young blond Board Chairwoman let herself slump into her chair fully. She picked up the teacup. With a moue, she drank down the rest of the tea. It had gone cold, just as she had feared. A pity. Letting out a breath, Athena punched the call button for her aide.

"Please send Machina-kun in."

What had happened to the boy she had pushed away so long ago? If things were as bad as Headmaster Mikogami Tenmei had intimated, then perhaps she might yet make amends for her past mistakes. _'Hayate, please be well and safe'_, Athena prayed.

* * *

><p>It was still early so the girls decided to check the library real quick for some books on Incubi. About ten minutes into searching, Kurumu begged off.<p>

"I'm gonna try calling my one source of information about this. I'll see you in class later. Bye!" The librarian on duty gave the succubus a dirty look as she ran out the door and into the hallway.

Moka shook her head. _'No wonder she's failing in several subjects'_, the school's top idol thought with a snort and a smile. She'd probably end up tutoring her if Kurumu asked for the help. Finding a couple of likely books on demons and devils, Moka checked the books out of the library and saw she had fifteen minutes before the first bell rang.

_'Doing some reading before class starts couldn't hurt'_, she reasoned, heading for Class 1-3.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Human World; Phoenix, Arizona; in an undisclosed hotel suite <strong>_

***Piiirrr Rrriii Rrriii Rrriii!~** *** **

A slender arm snaked its way out from under the bed sheets and covers. The well manicured hand with red polish on the nails grabbed the flashing cell phone on the nightstand and flipped the phone over until the glowing Caller ID display screen could be seen. A slightly exasperated sigh issued forth from the smaller of the two human-sized shapes upon seeing the name glowing there.

Her daughter knew better than to call unless it was for an absolute emergency. Curious to hear just what Kurumu thought was an 'absolute emergency', Kurono Ageha sat up with the blanket pulled up to her armpits and opened the phone.

"What is it, honey?" This said in tones which asked, _'Is this _really_ an emergency? Because if it's not you'll be _so_ getting it when I see you next time'_.

_"Momma, please! You're the only one I know who could possibly help me with this."_ The young girl's usually bubbly voice was tense enough to warrant further attention.

"Well, what is it, baby?" Pushing a stray lock of cyan-colored hair from her face, the mature succubus knew better than to put words in her daughter's mouth. She would get to the point faster that way.

_"I... I met a boy here at school, Momma. He's..."_ By this point Ageha was starting to get angry. Calling this early in the day, _now_ of all times, for a _boy?_ _'This had _better_ be some boy she's calling to tell me about'_, the purple-eyed beauty grumbled to herself irritably.

_"... He's so strong, kind, gentle, considerate, cute... he's everything you could ask for in a boyfriend, or more. I... I think he may be The One, Momma. And what I see happening to him right now is tearing me apart inside!"_ Her daughter's voice choked out a sob. _That_ was a red flag to the otherwise doting mother.

"Tell me what's wrong with him, sweetie. Leave _nothing_ out." And for the next fifteen minutes or so, Ageha listened intently to the story her only little girl told her without interruption.

"How did you know what he was before you saw him change, Kurumu?" The elder Kurono was stunned. An incubus of age to go to high school? It _was_ possible... just the same as it was possible to win the grand prize for the state lottery. The odds were a _lot_ shorter on winning the lottery though. Succubi who gave birth to an incubus almost always crowed about it to the rest of their kind. So if any incubus _had_ been born around the same time as her daughter, she'd have heard about it from others. And she _hadn't_.

_"Intuition, Momma. He just... _felt_ that way to me for some reason."_ Leave it to her little girl to stumble onto the one in a trillion shot of an incubus her own age, and a _foundling_ at that. But the emotional instability of this Hayate boy would have to be addressed first.

"You said he had been sealed, honey. Did you find out who might have done that to him?"

_"Moka says his other personality, Shoujiro, mentioned it being his own mother."_

"Did she ever hear him use another last name, or the name of his mother?"

_"Mom, his youkai nature and he were sealed away about 12 years ago as a _toddler_. I doubt anyone remembers their own last name or the name of their mother that long ago. Anyway, he never mentioned his mother's name, or Moka would've told me."_

Ageha sighed dispiritedly. Needle In The Haystack Time it would seem. That would mean either visiting the Village of the Succubi out in the desert... or calling... to speak with the Elders there. Probably both.

"Honey, it might take a while to get anywhere with this, so I want you to be prepared for that, okay? Getting into Youkai with Headmaster Mikogami's permission isn't easy, you know. I'll call him and see if he'll accept my help as a therapist... you do remember I have that license for counseling, right? I'm not going to make any promises, but I'll do what I can. What I want _you_ to do, Kurumu, is keep an eye on Hayate-kun until I can get a chance to interview him. Do whatever you need to to keep near him. You said he works for the school in some fashion? Try to get a job working where he is. This girl Moka is a friend of yours? There's nothing wrong with having girl friends, honey, but she's _competition_. All the girls there are. Finding your Destined One and keeping him is like hockey, Kurumu: The guy you want is the Goal, and every other girl out there is looking to score with him, so do everything you can to block, _block_, _**block**_." These little pep talks always took something out of her, but this is what a mother has to do for her child.

_"Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I woke you up so early."_ The contrition in her daughter's voice was enough to dispel the remnants of the sour mood she'd had since answering the phone.

"Don't worry about it, baby. You did the right thing in calling me. And you were right; no one there could have helped you with this."

_"Then... shoot! That was the final bell I think. I gotta go. I love you, Momma~__!"_ _***click!* **_ The sound of the phone hitting the disconnect echoed in Ageha's ear.

"Bye, baby. I love you too", she crooned into the empty air before flipping her cell phone shut. Sleep was something she wouldn't get any more of this morning. There were plans to be made, people to be called, and places to be before laying down to sleep again. Ageha cuddled up to the shape in the bed next to her.

"Sorry, Glenn, but I have to go. My little girl needs me." She gave an apologetic kiss to the man beside her, rousing him from his slumber.

"Don' worry 'bout it, Ageha. These things happen when you have children. Go... do what you have to. The boys'll miss you. _I'll_ miss you." The man's sleepy yet warm brown eyes crinkled at the corners a bit as he smiled up at the lovely Night Mistress.

She gave him her most winsome smile. "And I'll miss them. Give Don and the rest my love, along with _this_. Mmm..." A kiss even longer then the previous one left the two breathless after it ended.

"I'll give them your love, sweetheart, but not _that_. Don's whiskers would scratch like hell." A chuckle, rich with good humor chased after the giggle which ran in front of it. "Now maybe you should go before we start something likely to shave time off your schedule."

Ageha's amethyst eyes sparkled mischievously. One of her hands began to play with the hairs on her partner's chest.

"Maybe... one more for the road?"

The older brown-haired man's smile grew devilish. "You must've read my mind, Darlin'."

He pulled the covers over the two of them. The room soon filled with laughter and other sounds best left to the imagination.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Back at Youkai Academy... <strong>_

With the last chime of the final bell announcing the start of class, a black and light blue streak zig-zagged into the room. It stopped at the fourth seat up from the blackboard and second from the window, materializing into the form of one moody incubus. The back door slid shut seemingly on its own.

Shoujiro took his seat and leaned back trying to catch his breath. He spoke to the brooding bandaged orc behind him in a hushed whisper.

"Change in plans, Saizou-kun. You'll be starting with _me_ the first day." He gave the startled bully boy a wicked grin.

"What the fuck happened...", the blond boy started to whisper until he saw the hard glare from the shorter boy, "... Sir?"

Letting out a tired breath, Shoujiro whispered, "My alter-ego isn't in shape to deal with anything right now." At the orc's puzzled look he clarified, "_You_ try to deal with a week where your entire world turns on its head and see how you take it. Anyway, I'm standing in for him for now. We'll talk more at lunchtime. Teach is giving us the old hairy eyeball." Finishing up, the two return to their original postures as Nekonome-sensei continues with roll call.

Two minutes after Final Bell rang a panting blue-headed girl staggered into Class 1-3. "*Pant!* Sorry for being late, *Pant!* Sensei." She collapsed into her chair at the back of the classroom.

_'That's unusual for Ayasaki-kun and Kurono-san'_, Shizuka Nekonome thought to herself, frowning a bit while marking the succubus as tardy.

"Ayasaki-kun? Kurono-san?", the nekomata teacher called out.

"Yes, Sensei?/Yeah, Teach?", they both said simultaneously.

"I want to speak with the two of you before Homeroom ends." Whispers arose from some of the other students upon that announcement. Clapping her hands together to get the class' attention, Nekonome-sensei said loudly, "Okay class! Let's start on our Literature. Last time..." She went on for the entire period about Murakami Haruki.

As the rest of the class settled down, three other people in the classroom were taking notes of another type.

* * *

><p>Nekonome-sensei followed the cyan-haired pair out into the hallway and closed the classroom door.<p>

"Now, I know it's nice that the two of you have such a good friendship going but if you're going to fool around _please_ do it after classes are all over, okay?", she said to both Lilim. Both started sputtering: Shoujiro with laughter, Kurumu with embarrassment.

"I think you got the wrong idea here, Teach.", he chuckled, waving one of his hands in negation.

"M-Me... and _him? _ Please tell me you're joking, Sensei!", she cried out in indignation.

"I've seen you hanging off of his arm many mornings for more than a week now, Kurono-san... there's no need to deny it, is there?" Nekonome-sensei gave Kurumu a knowing smile. "I used to go to school here too... I know how it is. You feel the Call of the Wild and answer it passionately~mrrrooow!" The busty blond teacher got a slightly glazed look on her face perhaps remembering freer times, her tail lashing back and forth in abandon. The succubus' face turned cherry red, steam coming out of both ears.

Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Shoujiro was the first to speak. "As much as I love your sense of humor, Teach, you're wrong. I don't know what _her_ excuse for being late is", jerking a thumb towards Kurumu, "but _I_ had to see the Headmaster this morning. If you check with his office they'll clear it."

Nose twitching, Nekonome-sensei shifted over towards the black-garbed incubus. "She sniffed him up and down and stopped upon staring him in the face. "You smell different, Ayasaki-kun. Did you change your cologne?"

"No, Teach. I don't wear cologne actually", the discomfited boy answered looking to the side until he spotted Kurumu gesturing to stop talking then giving up when he finished his statement.

"No? Hmm... maybe it was just me then." Satisfied, the cat demon added one more comment. "The new color contacts are nice, Ayasaki-kun, but I think the lighter blue color suits you best."

Shoujiro sweatdropped. "Yeah, sure Teach. I'll keep that in mind."

After hearing Kurumu's reason for her lateness, the trio moved to re-enter the classroom and found the doorway packed with students who'd been eavesdropping. The rest of the class was pretty uneventful save for a lot of note-passing between different students.

* * *

><p>At the first break between periods, Shoujiro walked off to the drink machines. He needed some fresh air. The presence following him did not go unnoticed.<p>

He smiled. _-Come out, Mizore-chan. I can tell you're there-_. Five seconds after that the blue-headed boy was tackled by a violet-haired pale girl.

"Whoah! Watch it! You almost knocked us both down", he laughed.

"What happened, Shouji-kun? I thought you said..." the snow girl's questioning halted with a finger on her lips from the taller boy.

"Things've changed a bit past what I'd originally planned for. Hayate's not coming out. I'm a bit worried about that, actually. Half of what I've got planned included his participation to make it work. Now I have to do this on the fly", Shoujiro grumbled and slumped against a wall off to the side of the door leading back into the main school building. He slid to the ground against the wall, his knees up into his chest and arms hugging his legs. Mizore took a spot next to him and adopted the same posture, her striped panties showing. She unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in her mouth. For a few minutes a companionable silence fell over the two.

"You know... I don't think I've ever had a piece of candy, much less a lollipop, at all in my life. How are they?", Shoujiro asked.

Mizore pulled the lollipop out of her mouth and shoved it into Shoujiro's, surprising the incubus. She replaced the lollipop with another one, mint instead of the cherry one she'd given him. "Well... how do you like it?", she asked him, a sly glint to her pale blue eyes.

Mouth working a bit, Shoujiro thought a bit with his eyes closed. He opened and fixed his eyes on his companion. "Hmm... very nice. But I think Mizore-chan flavored cherry lollipops should be a very limited batch."

Raising a lilac-colored eyebrow, Mizore asked, "Why is that?"

Capturing her pale blue eyes with his much darker blue ones, the blunette male answered, "Because having too may would mean having more for others, making those particular lollipops more cheap somehow... less special." His gaze turned somewhat sad.

Blushing a bit, the snow girl reached out with one of her hands and cupped one of Shoujiro's. "The limited batch of Mizore-chan flavored lollipops would all be for you though, Shouji-kun. Just you."

She took the lollipops out of both their mouths and leaned in towards the incubus. Having similar thoughts, he also leaned his head down a bit to meet her halfway. An inch of space separated their lips when the moment was broken by an interruption.

"Ahem~!"

Both lovers, irritated by the killing of that perfect moment, glared at said interruption: 5' 3" and 121 lbs of peeved succubus.

"I just can't seem to take my eyes off you for a minute before you're off flirting with the girls, _Hayate_-kun", Kurumu said, her arms crossed under her impressive bust.

Sighing, the male Lilim got up from his position against the wall and helped Mizore up.

"It's no use, Kurumu-_chan_... Mizore-chan already knows about me." He recaptured the cherry lolli from the snow girl's hand and stuck it back into his mouth, the action of which wasn't lost on both girls. Mizore smiled as she put the mint lollipop back in her mouth.

Kurumu's reaction was the exact opposite the Yuki-onna's. She stepped forward and yanked the lollipop out of Shoujiro's mouth and flicked it into the dead grass off to the side. "Get that thing out of your mouth! What _are_ you, a five year old?" She expected him to come back with a snarky remark. What he did next she _hadn't_ expected.

***Smack!***

Holding a hand to her stinging cheek, Kurumu shrieked, "What the hell was _that_ for?"

His body trembling, Shoujiro spoke coldly. "That was the first piece of candy I'd ever had in my life, and you threw it away like it was a piece of shit." The taller boy's head was downturneded, hiding the upper portion of his face under light blue bangs.

"So what? There are better lollipops out there. I could buy them for you if you want..." The rest of Kurumu's statement got cut off when Shoujiro finally looked straight at her. There were tears making twin waterfalls down his cheeks. Yet these were _far_ from tears of sadness, as his midnight blue eyes proved, glaring at the buxom blueheaded girl.

"No, Kurumu-_chan_, you couldn't have. It could've been a ten yen piece of candy from an assorted jar of them at a candy store and it would have been _just as special_ for being the first one I'd ever tasted. Not only that, but you've trampled all over the feelings... and expression of those feelings... from someone I hold _very_ dear. So Kurumu, I'd suggest you go away and not bother me for the rest of the day, otherwise I'll be forced to do something we'll both regret... me for having to go through with doing it, and you for the pain which you'll so _richly_ deserve."

Having given vent to his displeasure, Shoujiro turned to the quiet violet-headed girl and extended his arm to her. "Shall we?"

Pulling the mint lolli out of her mouth, Mizore kissed him on the corner of his lip. "I'll be in in a couple of minutes, Shouji-kun. I'd like to talk to... her... for a bit."

Shrugging apathetically, Shoujiro gave his paramour a smile. "Knock yourself out, Mizore-chan. God knows _I've_ tried to reason with the... with _her_." He bent over a bit and kissed the snow girl's cheek in farewell. Kurumu he pointedly ignored as he re-entered the school building.

For a few seconds the area was silent as the two female students stared at each other. The pale, pupilless blue-eyed snow woman was the first to break the ice (pun not intended).

"I don't know what your intent is with regards to Shouji-kun, but I'd stay away from him for now on if I were you. You've done enough damage already as it is." Her eyes assumed an icy hardness.

"And what is _your_ intent, Ms. Candy Dispenser?" Kurumu glared right back at the lolli-sucking ice maiden.

"Mine? I love him. Unconditionally and unequivocally. I'll do anything to make sure he finds some measure of peace, even if it means having to swat a few bothersome flies to achieve that." Mizore's abrupt and blunt declaration of love took the cyan-haired succubus aback. The temperature of the air dropped rapidly. "And I do mean _anything_", Mizore finished. Her hair had turned into pale white locks of ice along with her hands assuming the form of sharp ice claws.

Just as it seemed the busty Lilim girl would have to transform to defend herself, the bell rang.

Mizore winced. "Shit... the bell." She eyed Kurumu meaningfully. "Don't think this is over, Cheese Tits." The snow girl let her human disguise reform and she walked into the school building.

After standing there for a minute in stunned silence, Kurumu screamed wordlessly. Her hand clipped one of the walkway overhang's supports. The piece she'd hit collapsed to the pavement, leaving the overhang with one less support. The ends of the piece looked shorn off, as if cut with an extremely powerful saw.

_Nothing_ had gone right today so far. It was all the frustrated succubus could do to not throw herself on the ground, beat on the pavement, and wail at the unfairness of the world. She'd done as her mother had said and tried her best to block any other girls from getting too close to Hayate (and by extension, Shoujiro), and this... this icy _bitch_ was already within striking distance of scoring a goal with him! How? As far as she herself knew, this Mizore girl hadn't even been in contact with either of the two halves of Hayate, so how could she have gotten that close in such a short amount of time? It made absolutely no sense. Unless... but that was ridiculous! His tail was useless for that kind of thing!

Knowing that any further delay would get her another tardy mark, Kurumu headed back for Class 1-3, her mind churning with unrest.

* * *

><p>Lunch arrived uneventfully. Shoujiro outlined what he expected of Saizou for the remainder of the day, including after school, before the group sat down to eat. Moka, Mizore, and Saizou sat together... Mizore to his left, Moka in front of him, and Saizou to his right at the same table... with Kurumu picking at her food at another table nearby, her head turned away from the group but still obviously eavesdropping all the same. Any time a male student tried to strike up a conversation with the broody blunette girl, or tried to sit with her, she gave them a red-eyed glare and flashed her impressive set of talons until they backed away, apologizing profusely as they retreated.<p>

"So... let me get this straight. You're the older more bitter half of this Hayate kid?", Saizou asked the blue-haired boy in a low tone. Several bruises on his face had taught him to use his indoors voice when talking.

"No, Nimrod... I'm the older _original_ personality of this body. Hayate is... my younger personality, in a fashion. _He _was the one raised in the Human World, by adoptive _human_ parents... loosely raised, mind you. Well, anyway, we could be considered twins who just happen to share the same body. And honestly, I don't mind sharing with him." Shoujiro scratched the back of his head while mixing up his curry with a spoon.

The pink-haired debutant raised her hand. "Yeah, Moka? What's your question?", he asked her.

"How is it you speak so well for someone who had no outside tutoring in vocabulary?" The ostracized Lilim girl perked up at that.

"Just because I was sleeping doesn't mean I was inactive, Moka. As I slept I dreamed. My dreams were more about what Hayate was doing at the moment then just my mind wandering. Since I have an eidetic memory, I remember things I see and hear... even things I don't want to remember." The incubus' face darkened. "So in a nutshell, I have the same understanding of language that Hayate would."

Saizou whistled appreciatively. "That being able ta remember whatever you see and hear must come in handy, though. You could read the teachers answer books and then you got it made in the shade on tests." That earned a snort of derisive laughter.

"Right... but first you'd have to be able to _read_ the book, not just memorize the chicken tracks and weird stick symbols that makes up Modern Japanese", Shoujiro said somewhat bitterly, rolling his eyes.

This admission surprised the group. "You... can't read Kanji?", Mizore asked. Kurumu's shoulders were shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

Letting the frustration he felt show on his face, Shoujiro glared at the succubus's back as he answered the snow girl. "No, I can't. Just because I can memorize a page of letters and numbers doesn't mean I can _understand_ them. That takes years of learning under someone else's teaching. Speech is easy. We all learn to speak just by watching and doing as our mothers and fathers do. More than that though, the first time I tried copying something down from the blackboard and Nekonome-sensei was looking over my shoulder she asked me what I was writing. What could I do? I old her it was code, in case anyone else tried copying from me. Luckily she bought it." He shrugged bemusedly.

"Can I see your notes later at home, Shoujiro-kun?", Moka put in curiously.

"Sure, why not? Maybe your other half will get a laugh out of it." The blunette male shrugged apathetically. He was silent for a minute, eating the mess he'd made of the beef curry on his plate.

Her eye on the much larger male in their midst, Moka said, "I know you told us all about Komiya-kun's reason for being here, but forgive me if I'm still a bit... doubtful... about this arrangement you've made with him, Shoujiro-kun."

The male orc had the presence of mind to look a bit embarrassed. "I don't intend ta repeat what I tried ta do at the start of the school year, Akashiya-san. I'll understand if you choose not ta believe me or forgive me for what I did. What he", gesturing to the eating and listening incubus, "reminded me of so _painfully_ last night was that big things often come in small packages."

_**'So the orc **_**does**_** have some manners. Maybe he can be housebroken, after all'**_, mused the pinkette's silver-haired counterpart.

_'Where the hell have you been! A lot's happened in a day'_, Pink Moka screamed at her more vampiric inner self.

_**'I was sleeping, Omote. I **_**do**_** get tired on occasion.'**_ A yawn punctuated Silver Moka's statement. The more humanlike personality decided to inform her core self what had been going on in her absence.

_**'So, he finds me annoying and bitchy but finds you perfectly acceptable? Is he an idiot? I'm as much...'**_

_'... like him than either of the two of you will ever admit to anyone else?'_, the Rosario's personality cut in smugly. Inner Moka growled, gnashing her teeth internally. _'Face it: you get along with Hayate as well as I do with Shoujiro so far.' _

_-Something wrong, Moka?-_, the intruding mental voice of the boy in question silenced both halves of the female daiyokai. It was a voice laced with some concern. _-You've been quiet for a while.-_

Her green eyes suddenly focusing on his own midnight blue ones, Moka tentatively ventured in similar fashion. _-Shoujiro-kun? How?-_

_-It seems that Hayate's little experiment just before his breakdown was successful, after all. Huh. I'll have to thank him later.- _ Amusement colored the male Lilim's internal tone. _-As for _how_ I did this, well... let's just say it has something to do with my Charm ability. I didn't Charm you, but I did set up a connection of sorts.-_

_**'Am I to have no privacy at all, even in my own mind now?'**_, the ruby-eyed female asked from her place in the Rosario's Seal.

_-Wait, what? I can hear the Bitch? You've gotta be fucking kidding me! I'm outta here.-_ Shoujiro broke the connection. He pushed his plate aside and facepalmed. Closing his eyes he began to count backwards from ten.

Recovering from the slam of the mental door in her face and the proceeding rant by her other half, detailing the possible parentage of the incubus, Moka posited a question to fill the awkward silence which covered the table.

"So, what happened this morning? Four Enforcers from the Student Police to pick you up at the front gate to see the Headmaster. What did you do? Did he say?"

"Oh, he bitched about what happened last night. 'Great Barrier almost got broken, yadda yadda yadda... Gonna seal me up if I do that again, yadda yadda yadda... psych tests coming so be ready, yadda yadda yadda.' A complete waste of about a quarter of an hour if you ask me." Shoujiro gave a tired roll of the eyes. Both Moka and Mizore gasped.

"Whoah, whoah, hold on and back up there. You almost _broke_ the Great Barrier?", the larger boy jumped out of his seat and almost squeaked. A fist to the breadbasket caused the orc teen to collapse back into his seat and flop down face first into his blood pie, coughing.

"Quiet down, you fucking idiot!", Shoujiro hissed at him. Yet the damage had already been done. Heads at other nearby tables had turned in their direction, expressions of shock present on almost all present. Even Kurumu was staring at him with equal parts shock and another part... something else. "Great. Just fucking **great**. You might as well come over, Kurumu-chan. I'm about done here", he called out to the cyan-haired girl. Shoujiro got up and made ready to return his empty plate and glass. He hesitated and then faced the crowd in his vicinity.

"It was a joke, guys. Relax!", he grinned good-naturedly and laughed, trying hard to keep the tension out of his voice. Returning his dirty dishware and silverware to the kitchen staff, Shoujiro passed his table on the way out. He stopped.

"I'll discuss this later. _Not _in school. Ciao." He walked out of the cafeteria passing by a couple of black-uniformed Enforcers who were by the double doors. The shaggy white-haired male nodded to the red-haired female next to him and jerked his head out of the cafeteria. They both walked out of the double doors, not too far behind the blunette incubus.

* * *

><p>The two in black hung back for a minute watching their quarry stroll down the hallway towards the front of the school.<p>

"We need to inform Lord Kuyou about this as soon as possible, deshi", the red-head girl said to her white-haired companion who simply nodded. Their eyes tracked Shoujiro as he made his way through a crowd of students heading to the cafeteria.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day, Shoujiro tried keeping a low profile. However since the outburst by Saizou in the cafeteria he'd been getting a lot more attention from the other students. The teachers were also starting to give him suspicious looks for the remainder of the class periods. If Hayate didn't wake up soon, the cat would be well and truly out of the bag and skinned. It was the last period of the day, and as his luck would have it one of the worst classes he'd faced yet. That perverted snake lady.<p>

_'Although I _think_ he's asleep, it feels more like he's... sulking... somewhere down deep.'_ The preoccupied boy managed to keep Ririko-sensei off his back by pretending to take math notes. The lamia teacher was a canny one though and tricks like this wouldn't serve for much longer. _ 'How am I gonna drag him up and out of our subconscious though? It's like a dungeon down there... dark and cluttered, with stuff better left buried.'_ He noted the approach of the teacher and stopped his ruminations and fake work.

"Um... yes, Kagome-sensei?", Shoujiro asked nervously. Letting her get close enough to see him messing around spelled doom. He'd almost blown it this time.

"Would you be so kind as to answer the problem on the board, Ayasaki-kun? Since you were _so_ _obviously_ paying attention to the lesson, weren't you?", the bombshell brunette pushed her glasses further up onto her nose and smirked, thinking she'd caught him loafing.

Shoujiro got up and approached the blackboard, scoffing at the algebra problem in his head. _'Easy Peasy'_, he gloated, putting the finishing touches. Ririko-sensei narrowed her eyes as she checked for errors. Finding none, she started erasing the problem and then got an idea.

While the insouciant incubus was on his way back to his seat, the teacher called him back to the front. "You got one error in your computation, Ayasaki-kun. Try again with this problem." She stood next to the blackboard this time watching him as he worked. The rest of the class was buzzing, most in sympathy for the blunette. A few of their comment could be heard.

"What's Kagome-sensei trying to prove?"

"Dunno. Maybe she's on the rag?"

"She's on _something_. Making poor Ayasaki-kun go back and forth like that."

"Shh! She'll hear you, and then you'll get it! 'Remedial lessons', that is."

Much quieter: "I've heard about those. Guys go in and come out... different. And the girls won't even _talk_ about what they go through in there." *shudder*

Shoujiro looked over the problem in front of him. It wasn't even in their grade level. _'What's she doing putting Third Year Calculus up there for? None of these guys, with maybe the exception of Inner __Moka could solve this one! ... Spiteful bitch.'_ He looked to the side glancing at the teacher, who wore an openly smug look of superiority. _'Okay... she wants to play that game? Let's give this cunt's mind a workout if possible.'_ Shoujiro doubted he'd succeed. Kagome Ririko wasn't considered one of the most diligent and brilliant mathematicians in the Youkai Realms because of her cup size. Still, this woman was owed a bit of humiliation herself for her own failings. He carefully examined the problem, ran it through his head on the blackboard he used internally to do such work, and then made sure to put up examples of the computations in his head on the actual classroom's blackboard. Satisfied with what he'd done, Shoujiro turned his head to see the teacher's reaction.

Kagome Ririko's jaw had fell open in shock. Not only had the boy answered the problem correctly, but he'd even openly left proof he hadn't screwed up. Recovering from her momentary lapse in composure she opened her mouth to congratulate him and was nonplussed even more by what she was seeing. Shoujiro had just erased his work and was writing another math problem on the board, this one dealing with Binary Cubic Forms! He glared at the teacher and put the chalk down.

"I dunno why you decided to turn this little bit of work into a math pissing match, Teach, but I'd say it wasn't very professional of you. You should be ashamed of yourself... as a teacher, and as an adult. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll take the rest of the day off. Ciao." He walked back to his desk and put his things very quickly into his bag.

Kagome-sensei was still trying to put together a coherent sentence as Shoujiro made his way out to the door past the silent class. Moka gave him a worried look. Mizore's face was as calm as always but her eyes held such fear of what might happen in this collision of Teacher V.S. Student. In light of her own experiences, the Teacher usually won. Kurumu? Well, she was chewing one of her thumbs a bit in agitation.

_'In trouble at nearly _every_ turn! He doesn't seem to care that this affects Hayate-kun as well at all, doesn't he?'_, she thought bitterly.

The bespectacled brunette math teacher had decided to act first then speak after. She cut out of the classroom through the front sliding door, her quarry right in front of her getting away.

"Ayasaki-kun! Class isn't over. If you don't return to your seat, I'll have no other choice but to give you three days detention, starting today after school", she called out to him, her arms crossed under her Size H bust.

The irritated blunette was losing what patience and control he had rapidly. "Piss off, Teach. I don't wanna have to see you anymore today then I have already."

Through both opened sliding doors could be heard a chorus of gasps and _'Oooo'_s. A crowd of students had already started to gather just inside both doorways watching the two out in the hallway. It had the feel of an old Spaghetti Western where two gunslingers are talking, right up until they get to the part where both would draw their guns and attempt to kill each other.

"That's three days detention you just earned for yourself, young man. Do you want to try for a week?" Her eyebrow arose in challenge.

"Ask me if I _give_ a flying fuck." More shock from the watching students. It was better than the human movies!

"That's a week, Ayasaki-kun. How about going for a solid month?" Kagome-sensei seemed a little too... eager... to get a full month.

"_Zero!_ Zero flying fucks given! Ah ah ah ah!", this announced in a fake Eurotrash accent by the rebellious boy. Shoujiro leaped up and caught the railing on the second floor and hauled himself up and over the rail, disappearing from the view of his other classmates and his frustrated teacher.

Kagome-sensei made rapid pursuit up the staircase near the classroom after chasing her dithering class back to its seats. She came up to the Second Floor landing and found... nothing. Her ears hadn't betrayed her. There had been no sounds of movement from the spot her errant student had last been heard from. The lamia female tested the air with her tongue. _'His scent ends right here, but where did he get to?'_, she wondered. The boy couldn't have gotten far unnoticed. Giving up for now, she went back downstairs to continue the rest of the period.

_'No matter... I've got a full month with him to readjust that attitude of his.'_ She flushed a bit in excitement. _'After all, it's my sworn duty as a teacher to lead my young and brilliant charges on to the right path.'_ Pushing her glasses back further onto the bridge of her nose, Kagome Ririko smiled. It was definitely _not_ a good day to be a certain blue-haired boy.

* * *

><p>In an old Shinto temple on the school grounds, a meeting between the head of the Student Police and his Lieutenant was taking place. The two Enforcers of Justice were both standing around a table which had seen better days. The blond Captain had his gloved hands behind his back, staring out of a slatted window into the rock garden behind the temple.<p>

"So what is to be done about this First Year, Ayasaki Hayate, Lord Kuyou? You've heard Deshiko and Aencarr's report about what they heard in the lunch room today." The black-haired young woman speaking kept herself a respectful distance from her Captain.

"For now? Nothing. This boy has already felt the Headmaster's displeasure directly. Rare is the person who can take any of _that_ man's warnings lightly, and rarer still those who _survive_ such infractions." Kuyou turned his head to the side to let his eye fall upon his second-in-command. "That is not to say we shouldn't keep a careful watch on such an individual." A canny look flashed across his face a moment before disappearing. "Send two of our own to keep an eye on him. Both female and in the normal student uniforms. I leave the choice up to your discretion, Keito." He chuckled darkly.

An eager light showed in her black eyes. "And if one of those females were to be myself...?"

Shaking his head, the vulpine male said, "No. You're too well known. Both girls should ideally be First Years themselves, so if they say they were dropped from the Public Safety Commission due to not being qualified enough to serve, they should pass muster among the other students."

Keito saluted. "Yes Sir. By your leave?" At his nod, she smartly turned on her heel and left the room quietly so as to not disturb her leader's peace.

The tall blond young man with the Captain's braid on his uniform took a position of Parade Rest as he continued to watch the birds search the rock garden for tidbits of seed that had been thrown earlier.

_'This boy... this Ayasaki Hayate... if matters have indeed been settled by the Old Man, then perhaps I __may be getting a new Lieutenant soon. Such power in his body I felt, that close to him. He showed no fear of us either. Whether bravado or genuine courage remains to be seen. It would be a _shame_ to leave such a promising young man loose when he could be better served keeping the peace at this school instead of disrupting it.'_ A large bluebird landed on one of the nearby rocks, trilling happily, an earthworm in its clutches. The Student Police Head put one of his gloved hands up onto the window with his fingers sticking out of one of the openings in the slats.

_'Of course, should he _not_ accept my offer of membership in our glorious organization, then maybe some further encouragement may be needed. And if he should prove to be weaker than he seems in character and actually _try_ to destroy the school from the inside out... well... that would be _most_ unfortunate...'_ A burst of flame shot from his forefinger, hitting the bluebird dead on. Scorched feathers drifted down to settle about tiny blackened bones one step away from complete ash.

"... for him", Kuyou finished aloud. A smirk slowly turned into a full-on grin. And a solitary man's laughter arose from within the darkened room.

* * *

><p>Homeroom was next, finally. Kagome-sensei had cornered Nekonome-sensei about her missing student before class resumed. While the two talked out in the hallway... mainly consisting of Ririko browbeating Shizuka about her failing to spot such a trouble student before he could incite further rebellion from the rest of the students... the three concerned girls gathered loosely together to talk.<p>

"Is he out of his mind, getting into that kind of trouble?", Kurumu had opened up on the others.

The ice maiden shook her head in blatant denial. "I don't think any of you know what brought it on. All I care about is the fact that that woman has locked on to him. I've heard rumors about her from older students. She's into making her female students dress up in skimpy maid outfits while serving her in return for her 'lessons'. And the boys get it _much_ worse." Mizore's voice was matter-of-fact, betraying no emotions whatsoever.

Moka had a difficult expression on her face. "He was trying so hard to pretend to be Hayate, and was doing so well up until Kagome-sensei's period."

Passing by the girls on his way out of the classroom, Saizou had an awed look on his face.

"Balls of Steel, that guy. Balls of _Steel_", he muttered.

The frustrated succubus turned on him like a heat-seeking missile. "Didn't you just hear what we said? He's about to get those steel balls crushed!"

Shaking his head, the blond orc chuckled. "Not _that_ guy. You girls weren't there when he unloaded that can of whupass on me. He almost sent me back into Intensive Care, I swear it!" His smile dwindled. "Anyone who tangles with _him_ is gonna be in for a world of hurt. Either that or a short trip ta the crematorium, if you catch my drift."

Moka looked disgusted. "Why did Shoujiro invite you to lunch for anyway? You don't seem to be the type of guy who socializes well with others, Komiya-kun."

Saizou scratched his head behind an ear. "Funny you should mention that. I gotta get going. Got places to be and people to see." He lifted a hand in farewell, walking out the back door and sliding it shut behind him. The girls heard one of the teachers raising a ruckus in his wake, something about another student rebelling against teacher authority. They all winced. Kagome-sensei was _really_ laying into poor Nekonome-sensei about this.

"We'll just have to stay until after school to do anything about this. This whole situation is getting out of hand", Kurumu finished up grimly.

Glaring at the succubus from narrowed eyes, Mizore demurred. "What do you mean _'we'?_ I'm not sticking around waiting to find out what happened through second-hand information." She stood up from her chair and moved to open the window next to her. Mizore hopped out of the open window and turned back to face the other two girls. "Let me know what the teachers decide." She ducked down for a moment... and then hopped back through the window and closed the window. Quietly, the snow girl retook her seat as though nothing had happened.

Succubus and vampire looked at the snow girl and then back to each other, blinking a few times. Not sure what to make of it, they both sat back down at their desks.

* * *

><p>It had been a pretty good day overall. Shiori and Kumiko had come over and shared a lively leisurely lunch with her, chattering about their own sons and daughters. Who had gotten engaged and who was left to grow up until they too would be up for developing those close ties which led to matrimony.<p>

The wall phone in the kitchen rang just as Tsurara put on the finishing touches, cleaning up after two of her closest friends had left to do the day's shopping. She hung the dishrag, now damp, over the oven to dry faster and picked up the earphone and receiver. Flicking a few loose strands of silvery gray hair from blocking her sight, the Yuki-onna put the phone to her ear.

"Hello, this is the Shirayuki residence, Tsurara speaking."

A breathless whisper answered her. _"Mother... I need to talk to you."_

Raising a silvery eyebrow in surprise, Tsurara said, "Oh my. Are you cutting from class, Daughter, to make this call?"

_"Mother, you can scold me later on. This is _important_."_ Was that _impatience _in her little girl's voice just then? It must have been her imagination. _ 'Mizore would _never_ raise her voice to me'_, Tsurara thought placidly.

_"I've found him, Mother. The One for me. I only met him last week, and had just gotten to know so much more about him last night, but already we share so much in common."_ Her daughter's voice had seldom held that tone of excitement in it. The last time was when Mizore had met that boy from one of the nearby human villages. That hadn't ended well. _'Maybe this one would?' _

"That's wonderful, dear! What kind of monster is he?" Sometimes a snow woman would make an error in judgment and bring back someone from outside the village who would be unsuited to life in a near-Arctic environment. They'd freeze to death, get a cold-based illness (such as her own husband had, rest his soul) like pneumonia, or just give up on life and fade away until they died. What the snow girl said next wore that celebrated Yuki-onna calm down to raw nerves.

_"He's an incubus... Mother? Are you still there, Mother?"_ Silence reigned on the other end from the talking girl.

Tsurara's mind flew into a panic. It wasn't noticeable in the visible sense... until you saw into what state her kitchen was becoming. Hoarfrost was collecting on the walls, and sheets of ice were forming over the windows. The water left in the wash basin in the sink grew into a miniature ice tree with jagged sharp branches going in every which direction.

She remembered from her own time in high school how it had been. That cow-uddered skank had made it impossible to snare the man of her dreams then. The only saving grace out of that whole debacle was that her love interest had settled on someone _other_ than the disease-ridden whore. There had been rumors of an incubus, either on staff or as one of the students, but no one was completely sure which at the time. She'd heard some horror stories about what an incubus was capable of. Taking a girl or woman, it didn't matter how old, so long as they were moderately attractive and full of life. The fiend would leave those poor unfortunates broken and empty and move on to the next victim. They would pursue their chosen target unerringly, to the ends of the Earth if need be, until they had them. And this was the monster her daughter had run into and fallen for?

Feigning a calm she didn't feel, Tsurara finally answered her daughter. "That's nice dear. Did he look you in the eyes and say how special you were? Did he follow that up with a kiss to show his sincerity?"

_"It... didn't quite happen that way, mother."_ Mizore sounded relieved. _"A lot happened that night, some of it's still muddled in my head. I do remember it was _me_ who kissed _him_, not the other way around."_

_'She doesn't _sound _like she's under a Charm or enslaved. I can only hope she remains so.'_ The street-walking trash she knew in school had been rather infamous for the large number of boys she'd kept Charmed, a few of those enslaved even.

"Oh my... ufufufufu! I didn't know you could be so bold, Mizore."

_"Stop it, Mother."_

Tsurara was sure her little girl's cheeks were candy apple red right now. Teasing your daughter showed you cared about them. The joy in her voice was unmistakable though. Preparations needed to be made. "So, what is the name of your beau, Daughter?"

_"He actually has two names. The name I know him by is Shoujiro. The other is Hayate. I fell in love with him as Shouji-kun though."_ Tsurara didn't hear the first part of her statement, only picking up what Mizore was saying at and after '... Shouji-kun...'**. ** She was too busy thinking of how she'd get into Youkai Academy, and under what pretense, to help her daughter bring this boy home.

"I'll talk to you later, dear. I'm so happy for you." The gray-haired Yuki-onna put as much warmth into her voice as she could convey through the inadequate phone line.

_"Goodbye, Mother. I'll call next week."_

Both mother and daughter said their respective farewells and hung up. Putting the phone back in its cradle, Tsurara moved with practiced swiftness to the living room. There she pulled on a cleverly hidden catch on a wall light fixture. The bookshelf which took up half the wall space slid over to reveal an opening in the wall big enough for one person roughly human-sized to fit through.

The snow woman moved with graceful steps through this alcove and into a room hidden behind the wall. A few racks were mounted on three of the walls, along with one long rack in the middle of the room, all holding firearms of one type or another. There was even an M-79 'Blooper' grenade launcher on one rack. Another rack had plaques above the firearms with names engraved on them. This rack was the one Tsurara now strolled slowly past, inspecting the weapons for the appropriate one(s) for the upcoming mission.

She eyed one plaque with the name _'Widow Maker'_. It bore an AK-47 with spare banana clips under it in a metal case. Snow People never divorced, never separated from their spouses. Her people often took 'Until Death Do You Part' quite literally. Tsurara moved to the next weapon. This one wouldn't do.

The next firearm bore the name _'Husband Catcher'_. A full bore rifle with a sighting scope, it had two types of ammunition on display: tranquillizer darts and .22 rounds. The darts could inject enough anesthetic to knock an ogre out and the bullets were in case you didn't want him able to run away very fast before you caught up to him. Sometimes the old fashioned way of husband-catching was best. Tsurara recalled how she'd met her own husband long ago.

He'd been freezing to death on a mountain ledge, his way blocked by an avalanche, with no one around for miles. It had been an easy thing to convince him to go with her back home where it was much warmer than up on that mountain, which would have certainly ended with his death... a frozen corpse that might not be found for weeks or months. It took time for him to get over the fact that he was a virtual prisoner in her Village, but he adapted to it. It was a clearly Human advantage, quick adaptation. And although it had taken a while longer than adapting to life in her home village, he eventually started to love her too.

His loss had been a severe blow to her. Yet he had left something behind when he passed on... her little girl. The only thing of him she still had. And she would make certain that Mizore would find her own happiness... or at least contentment such as she herself had found. Tsurara continued moving down the line of lethal and nonlethal weaponry.

_'Son-in-Law Catcher'_ was the next plaque's inscription. _'_This_ one might be acceptable'_, she thought wryly. Two weapons sat on the shelf: one, a blowgun with tranquillizer darts on a box alongside it. The other, a taser. The taser was outfitted with an extra-strength battery pack plus an electrical adapter, and a wall-mounted electrical outlet made it possible to charge the pistol. This Tsurara did, noting the orange light which showed the pack charging. It would turn green when at 100% power.

_'I'll need to stop by the apothecary's before leaving the Village'_, she noted.

Both weapons could be concealed in the sleeves of a kimono if one wished it. Tsurara pulled a sawed-off single barrel automatic shotgun off a wall mount with the title _'Negotiator'_ inscribed on it. She'd take this one along, just in case. It paid to be careful. If this boy was everything Mizore wanted and he was enough of a gentleman to her, perhaps all this preparation would be unnecessary. She certainly hoped so. However she would leave _nothing_ to chance. Too much was at stake, most of all her little girl. Pulling back the pump handle, she chambered a round.

***Ker-Chack~!* **

Time to set about bagging a son-in-law.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>**:** Sorry for the late update. That's what happens when you promise something and Real Life makes a liar out of you. November sucked, and now that the Holidays are about to hit, things're gonna suck even more. I'll make a New Years Resolution for all you guys a bit early: _I resolve to _not_ make any more promises about how early an update of my stories will be._ It's done when it gets done.

I think that's a resolution I'll be able to keep. Don't you agree?

As you all can tell, things are starting to snowball for Hayate (and Shoujiro). This chapter was mainly about setting up future events and introducing some others into the chaotic mix which has become Hayate/Shoujiro's life at Youkai Academy. Will things ever stabilize for them? Who knows.

Have a safe and enjoyable Christmas/Kwanza/Hanukkah/New Year everyone!

This is the Priest, signing out.

-Prodigal Priest.


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